Of War and Peace

The existence of hate and jealousy has been seen since Kane and Able. The greed of what is not ours has always been the motivation of brute action and subsequent reactions of negative emotions.

We are living in the world which is powered forward by the good that is done for society but are held back by the wrong that happens around us. History has been an evidence of the ruthless nature of humans and how we are so happy when we hurt others.

In the early days, war and treachery were a part of life where the mighty were powerful and the weak were simply slaves. The change of structure happened at a slow pace where war was condemned and the weak were given the strength to exist without fear. There was a change in the perception of war.

The 20th Century saw the most gruesome of world wars and the formation of the UN council which is supposedly the mediator and the supporter for the just. Media played a major role in seeking the need for peace and sustenance in the world. The number of artists who have sung of happiness and joy, the movies which have shrieked the life out of us to understand the environment of peace as subjected to that of war and hate.

Little do we know of the daily lives of the people who wake up to the sounds of bombs bursting around them. A child who fears of loosing a limb if he were outside playing football because of the shellings. A girl who was raped by the soldiers meant to protect them. The horrifying tales of parents burying their children because the opposite side mistook them for terrorists.

War exists till today in the very backyard of our homes. We just refuse to acknowledge it. We are too involved with our daily lives to figure out the love that doesnt exist in the minds of those influencers of hate. For when will hate turn to love or when would they be a need for the lost to be found.

History has been an example and a learning for us but we simply refuse to read between the lines. War only causes casualties and more hate. Dialogue and communication with a refusal for brute force or action can amicably resolve long pending issues and make us feel more comfortable.

The happiness of a parent to see their children graduating. The happiness of a child to play in the field without the fear of being bombed. The glory of a girl to play with her tea sets and dolls. The love of a husband towards his wife. 

The beauty of love that could fill the earth is still a long stretch away. There is but a need for each one of us to work in the direction of love and giving. Our choice of No WAR but offer PEACE....

The Drive.....

It was just another day going to work or was I mistaken?

A monday morning all ready to start the week, the car engine roared and I took a deep breath to focus my attention to the week ahead. As I reversed from the garage I could faintly remember the beautiful weekend that just passed by and how I wished it were a day or two longer.

The traffic was at its peak and was at snail's pace. As I waited at the signal I saw the beggars making their rounds at each car. A woman was carrying a child, not more than 2 years, on her waist and walking from car to car begging for money. She was using the child as a tool to persuade the occupants in the car to give her money.

I looked and wandered about the child and what would be his/her plight in all of this. He would be groomed to be a thief or a beggar when he would grow up. His life was meant to be doomed from the time he/she took his/her first breath of air and started to cry. The cry would have been of pain rather than of happiness to be welcomed into the world of misery.

I sat back and thought of the children who I had met, children of my cousins, friends, acquaintances. All those children would have had been born in the same manner as the child on the street but their destiny would have definitely been different to the child in front of me. The love, care and tenderness their parents bestowed on them would be only a dream for this little one.

If fate had played its cards right, this child could have been an asset to society. He/she could have been a writer, an actor, an engineer, a doctor or any other professional but because of the bad parenting he/she was to be in the life of misery with the goons of society.

The drive didnt last long as the thought of the child kept playing in my head and made me wonder. What could I have done to make this a better place for the children of tomorrow? How could we as the elders of today work to make the city a better place for all to live in?

If we all were to make our cities, towns and villages a safe haven for children that would be a start to ensuring our children would not have to bear the same brunt or anguish that we as children may have had to endure.

The drive to make this world a better place needs to begin and start at home. Else there would never be a home left for the future generations.

The Train Journey

It was a journey like no other. I anticipated the endurance of the journey with the stories recited the night before by my cousins and they never gave an opportunity for me to feel any better.

It was going to be the first day I traveled by the local trains in Bombay and I was petrified with what they had told me. I was only 13 years and was travelling with my father. He was to go from Andheri to Churchgate for official work and I had brilliantly insisted on accompanying him. The relations that I had revered; were questioned when they told me of the nasty travel experiences they had and how the train is a place for rogues and ruffians. How they push people around and do not care of the passenger next to them.

My cousins took the chance to scare the jeepers out of me as we did not reside in India then. We would come only for a brief period of time and were here on the holidays when the schools would close for Christmas. The sinister nature of their prank had me want to back out of the journey but for some unknown reason, I pursued it with a knot in my throat.

My father had anticipated the fear I would have with the maiden voyage in the trains of Bombay. We were travelling in the rush hour at 930 am and he bought first class tickets to avoid the hassles I would face in the second class compartment ( I was a pampered brat back then).

We did not take much time at the queue as there was a separate line for the first class ticket. We were in and out of the ticket counter in about 5-6 minutes. My dad then ushered me onto the platform and we waited for the train to arrive which again did not take long as it was the peak period and there were trains coming into the platform every 6-8 minutes.

I remember we didnt board the first train as I was frozen to the ground when I saw the flood of people getting out of and in to the train. It was as though there was a riot behind the people who wanted to get out and of the people who wanted to go in. In the fight to get to their destinations, we remained stranded outside the train and my father had second thoughts on my boarding the train. As the train started to pull away from the platform, I saw people hanging out of the train and shouting at the people to move inside. I didnt think of it much, except to the extent that if I would have been able to hang out with people pushing me.

I told my father that I was not going to board the train and that he better leave without me. I would be safer to catch a rickshaw home and stay there. He motivated me to board the next train and told me to be in front of him so that he could push me inside. Not sure of the logic but his words gave me strength (for the time being) and I agreed to him.

The train arrived and my time of reckoning was in place. I stood strong and with the guidance of my father I made my way inside the first class compartment. As he carried and pushed me, he was pushed by someone else. I was pushed by atleast a dozen men whose bellies were crushing my face. I was jammed like sardines in a can and there was no place for me to move. I was jammed in between two, three, four, ten, twenty individuals who had an extra belly. The people were shouting and asking to move in. It was a ruckus of sorts.

My father asked me if I was doing well; I would have liked to give him a piece of my mind then. But I gave him a grunt and made a face of sadness and pity. I couldn't breathe with my face between the freddy bellies. It was unbelievable to know that people would have to travel like this everyday. I was in a place being crushed by the bellies and wanted to burst all the bellies next to me or use a towel to cover my face from the sweat and grime that was dripping all around. It was a journey that lasted me a lifetime.

It took about a few stations to pass after which the crowd started to dwindle down and I could catch a breath of hope and life. I signaled to my father that this was not the journey that I had in mind or what was told to me. It was worse than expected. I went on to curse the people for behaving badly and pushing everyone around, while we were still on the train and trying to understand why these people behave the way they do.

My father was silent at all my questions and sarcasms. He silently nodded to me and said, "This is the life in Bombay (now called Mumbai)". I was astounded from what we were used to living and the world of torture on the trains of Bombay.

12 years on, we came to settle down in Mumbai and it turned from a vacation home to our permanent home. Travelling by train is now a routine for me and I now have to listen to my friends who come to Mumbai of how horrible the trains are and how they cannot get into a train without having to push, slide, rub, caress, or shout at a person. And I reply to them, "This is the life of Mumbai."

Kiss with a Smile

I think every individual on this planet believes in Love. They may not believe in god or the government but love is one hidden power that crumbles the hardest of hearts and brightens the darkest of days.

The puppy love, the crush, the yearning of the touch for the person you are in love with. It is a magical feeling when it starts. Smiles are but a natural being because there is a lot of happenings in the inside. The late night talks just doesnt matter to the hours of sleep lost. The mobile bills just doesnt matter to the long talks. The walk in the park, beach or pavement is a walk in a garden.

Love has a funny way to make things seem more beautiful than what it was meant to be. And we all have had our share of that puppy love and the real love too. It can kill all the negativity that exists in one's mind and bring out the best in their performance and outlook to life. The smile it brings to each person is imaculate and beautiful to all its beings.

But have you ever stopped to think... No one can kiss with a smile. When you kiss, you loose your smile!

A kiss is the passion shared between two lovers. It doesnt matter who the lover is, the kiss is the most personal touch that two friends share that begins their journey into the depths of their emotions and to a life together(Hopefully!!) as lovers or couple.

When the start is without a smile, what ensures that the  journey will be with smiles forever. There is but a strong signal to suggest that the journey of life will be with hurdles and no smiles. It doesnt mean you dont have to enjoy the journey or that your partner is not right for you. It means you have to work to make it better.

Like a kiss, sometimes you have to make the first move and close your eyes. Touch, feel and let the magic happen. It is not without effort that a marriage or a relationship will build itself to the years of happiness in photographs. A lot of work and effort goes into it. 

Do you know that when you kiss, you loose around 7-9 calories a minute which glorifies the number to about 400-500 calories an hour. You loose weight in sharing time with your loved one. What better form of exercise can anyone suggest?

But like the calories lost, the relationship is building with every kiss that you share with your loved one. There is going to be effort and the effort starts with a kiss.

In getting up after falling, I Trust!

There is something happening in our lives everyday, sometimes we give credit to luck and the other times to destiny. The question that arises in my mind, is whether there was any destiny or any luck involved in the occurences of our lives.

There are instances in our lives when we are regretful of the actions of our past or present and the same actions result in something better happening to us. The act of loosing a friend or a spouse or a job or not doing well in the activity that we were engrossed in for a period of time. The loss of the moment creates a sense of despair in our minds which results in us being depressed and aloof from the world for the given or elongated period of time.

I dont thing this was the way it was meant to be. I have come to realise that the bad events in our life is a wake up call from the Creator/God, instructing us to do what we are here to do. We may be in a wrong profile of work which we have not been created for or we may be in a relationship that was not supposed to exist or we may not be saving a relationship that we were supposed to endure for a life time. The question of why are we here in this world and what is our purpose is made clear with all the bad events in our lives.

So if I am going through a bad phase in life, I think it would be wise to take a step back and instrospect into the reality of my strengths and the colours that need to be put on the painting. Dive deep into the realm of myself and study the creators engineering marvel and that is myself. I was not created to be a looser in any worldly sense. God created me for a better purpose.

For those who are happy in their environment, take time to look for a person who you can put a smile on. PAY IT FORWARD; do the good deed of making the next person happy. Unlike in the movie, do not stop at 3 persons but go forward to make many more lives happy. You never know when the favour will pay it forward, back to you. :)

For those who are in a place of doubt, look within and see the champion that is lying dormant. Awaken the giant and walk into the path of happiness. Remember, not all who are financially rich are happy and not all who are financially poor unhappy. Take your pick from the choice. :)

When Smiling in Bad times?

There is something about death, that sends shivers down our spine. We mourn and show case our sorrows with the passing of a loved one or acquaintance. Even though we are very well aware that we all have to pass away one day and yet we showcase a surprise to the event.

Birth is greeted with a smile but death is turned to a frown. I have asked this question to a number of people and have been given a number of reasonable answers like, “We will miss the person and their company”, “He/she was so young and was such a good child” and “The passing of the person is a mourning process for the family and friends”.

There is a thought that caused a break in me following these same principles and it goes something like this. We are always happy when something good or happy happens to us but we get depressed when things don’t go our way. Even if it is not as large as death by itself even the small things are treated with a negative and saddened thought. The loss of a job, losing a competition, getting robbed, being cheated or even yet being betrayed. These negative events make a dent in our thinking process and get us to a negative emotion which leaves us bare and frustrated to some extent. So why don’t we try to accept all these negative events in our lives with a smile?

My point is when something bad happens to you, celebrate it as it is a start of something new. Let me narrate an incident that happened to me personally and my reactions were all spontaneous and not to my understanding until much later.

In 2009, I was employed with a respectable company and out of the blue I realized I am being asked to leave the company due to downsizing and re-structuring. In the week that I lost my job, my wallet was stolen, Bike confiscated and helmet stolen. I was going through a bad incident  one after another and I did not realize why was it happening? So I stayed at home for over 2 weeks scared to step out of the house and have something else bad happen to me. In those two weeks I did some introspection and came to realize that it was my reaction to each individual event that got me more and more depressed and saddened. Let me recap step by step.

First I lost my job, I always knew the company was downsizing and I was going to be among the ones who are going to be asked to leave but yet I was saddened by it. In the dazed phase, I was travelling by the train in Mumbai and deep in thought of how my career would take shape from here was when my wallet was stolen. And I never realized it until I reached home when I went to change my clothes. A few days later, I was going to meet a friend about a job and in the process, I parked my bike at a no parking zone as I was late and had to meet him on time. I did not get a descent lead from there and on my return from his office, I was told that my bike was seized by the traffic police. I had to go the traffic police station and collect it from there. The next day I went to the mall to buy some items for the house and since I was on my bike, I felt I could leave my helmet on the bike, as no one would bother of stealing it from there. After the shopping, my assumptions were laid to test as my helmet was not to be found and none of the security guards had a clue what happened?

All these events were the cause of the reaction and process that started with me losing my job and being distracted from the rest of the world. Had I had the presence of mind and kept my calm and accepted the inevitable, there would have been no problem existent to make it worse. I would have definitely still lost my job but saved on my wallet being stolen, my bike getting confiscated and helmet stolen. One event caused three other negative events that led to more depression and me locking myself in the house for a period of recovery.

What would be preferable to be in a state of mourning or to pick up the sticks from where it had fallen and move on? Wouldn’t it be better to just turn the page and wait for a brighter day? Why create happiness? Instead, accept what is there in front of us for what it is worth and not get too attached to that event for longer than needed. Just be an observer to our own lives and move on.

Taking it back to my initial argument, why do we mourn during the death of a person? Why can we not celebrate their life for the time that they were there? Remember the good times and wipe away the bad times from our memories. It should be a thankful gesture that they are no longer required to live in a polluted world or work long hours to make a living or bow down to a boss who has no clue of your capabilities. Instead they are now resting for their time spent on this planet and hopefully are in a better place than what we currently are in.

Accept death as a matter of process and the circle of life. Nothing is permanent and nothing is forever. Life is but a matter of time for us on this planet. So while we accept life in its entirety lets think of how to accept death as well with a smile.

The Silent Goodbye

It never did matter what was said or the action done. She lay there in tears waiting for the touch of his hand and the warmth of his hug that was never to be.

It had been 3 years since they were married and had the said the "I Do". The occasion of one of the most remembered among the invited and it was a joyous occasion. Sharon had remembered the day she walked towards her husband to be, Keith and was so happy that they were going to be united in matrimony. Keith, had the smile that would have lit a thousand lights and was as happy as Sharon in having her by his side.

They had been dating for 3 years and the love had mushroomed from friendship of 8 years and then to the closeness of lovers and now fidelity in matrimony. They never thought the day would be a reality but it was to become their day of reckoning.

Keith was a man of love and had a number of flings before he knew that his search for the "one" had been futile and his best friend had always been the one. He was the one who was longing to get married but somehow did not like the girls that came into his life.

Sharon was the domestic, docile girl who was not the outgoing type. She loved to sit at home and cook more than going to restaurants for dinner with friends. She was always more lively when it came to creating things on canvas and on various crafts.

Keith and Sharon were out on a dinner when the he put the proposal during desert and she had a scoop of ice cream in her mouth which prevented her to answer or react. She had the blank face of a child when asked a question that they didnt know the answer to. She had known him for years and had a liking towards him but never professed it.

Her silence had woven a web in Keith's mind and he was not sure if he had jeopardized their friendship in the hope of sealing their relationship of friendship in matrimony. She called him 3 days later and shared her positive feedback to be by his side till death do them apart.

The reply was all that could and would make him a complete man, with love by his side, he felt the world was an oyster for him. They were married in a few months and their love was blooming with everyday that bore a new flower and a new reason for them to fall in love with each other again.

It was a love of the ages that was dawning on them. Until the fated evening....

Sharon was as usual cooking dinner and waiting for Keith to return home from work. It was the weekend and Keith loved the weekends, to enjoy with friends and family. She had prepared his favorite chicken dish and had the beers chilled to start on the evening celebrations. The mobile phone ring changed her life to be; it was her brother who was calling her and asked her where she was.

She felt weird to be asked where she was but replied she was at home and waiting for Keith to arrive. She confirmed before he could say anything that they would be meeting her on the Sunday afternoon at her mother's place for lunch. He replied he was on his way over to her place and would be there shortly.

He reached there with his mother whose eyes were sore from a lot of crying. Sharon was astonished to see her mother in the state and asked what was wrong. Her mother gestured her to sit and asked her brother to tell Sharon what had happened.

Her brother narrated how Keith was on his way home and he met with an accident. It was not his fault from the look of it but a truck driver had lost control of his vehicle and slammed into Keith's car from the back. the impact was so hard that the car was badly damaged. Keith was in the hospital and in the critical care unit.

Sharon trembled on hearing the news and rushed to the hospital with her mother and brother. She saw him there and was in tears at the state he was in. The doctors said he was on a watch for 48 hours and only god could help from here on.

She held him in her arms and stayed by him through his last breath. He didnt make it through the time given and said his goodbye in silence.

His silence was all that took for a goodbye that was otherwise said with a kiss and a hug that would crush her when he lifted her. The goodbye that he said everyday and the hello that was repeated in the same fashion, everyday for three years.

It never did matter what was said or the action done. She lay there in tears waiting for the touch of his hand and the warmth of his hug that was never to be, in the bed.

The Spirit of Success

I am simply amazed at the people I see around me everyday. The different facets of life that they come from and the work they do with the dreams which each one of them aspire for. Some of them have dreams for themselves and some dream for their families or loved ones. I happened to come across such an individual in a train journey in the local trains of Mumbai.

I had had a very bad day at work and all I wanted to do was reach home and get some rest so that I could face another day at work. I was in two minds whether to continue the job or to remain with the company to pursue my social career.

I boarded the train at Churchgate station which is the closest railway station from Nariman Point and on my way to Borivali. I was lucky to get the seat that would change the way I looked at life and the hurdles that came along with it. The train was fairly empty on a Saturday afternoon as the weekend had already started for most of the office goers. I took a window seat and sat starting out of the window and thinking of how I hated my job and the life that I was leading. Then they came in and sat right opposite me and were already in the midst of a conversation that I assumed had started sometime earlier.

There were two elderly gentlemen, Mukund and Salil, who were maybe in their late forties and were discussing about their lives and its problems. Mukund was explaining to Salil how his life was filled with problems. I was sitting in my own grief and didn’t want to hear another sob story from anyone to make me feel more disserted than I already was but I listened to their conversation since I had nothing better to do.

Mukund was describing the way he was married to a girl in his early twenties by an arranged marriage and after 5 years of marriage and a son of 2 years she passed away in a freak accident. Apparently, the driver was drunk and slammed into his wife when she was returning home late at night from her mother’s place. He couldn’t do anything to the driver since his father was in the high and mighty of the then ruling political party and had already threatened dire consequences if he had to pursue the case against him.

He was left with a 2 year old to take care of him and raise him on his own. A second marriage was out of the question as no girl wanted to be with a widower and would obviously not shower the same love on the child as his real mother. He took the responsibility of raising his child on his own and making sure he got all that he could give him.

It took a while before both of them had adjusted to the new life ahead of them. He had rarely cooked and cleaned the house or done any house hold chores as his wife had him pampered with just sitting and relaxing while she did the needful. Nor had he spent much time with his son in cleaning his diapers and making his meals. He was always the one who would put him to sleep or play with him while she would do the rest of the chores.

Working as an executive in a Multi-national company only gave him security of his job but really didn’t take care of the payments and the time that he could spend with his child. To add to it, his son had a weak immune system and was as notorious as hell. Mukund would be often called from his school telling him he is sick or injured himself. A single dad was no joke for him to handle and he was terrified. He thought of asking his parents to stay with him so that they could help with the nurturing and care of his son while he was away but that was not possible as they themselves were too old to take care of themselves. It resulted in years of running around from home to work and then from his school to various doctors who were poking into him and giving various medications to cure his son’s weak immune system.

Till the age of 7 he was always falling ill on regular intervals and his medical bills would always be a worry for Mukund. Apparently, all through it he had always kept his calm and never wondered of what the worst could bring. He had almost stopped meeting and greeting friends and all his other worldly pleasures had come to a standstill for that time. He was determined to raise his son and impart the affection of both the parents to him.

The thing that really inspired me was that all through this he and his son shared a bond that rarely a father and son would get to share in a normal family. His son went on to become a chef and was working in a leading star hotel and doing well for himself. Mukund said that his son was getting married in a couple of months and he was looking forward to it. Now he was busy with all the wedding preparations and was relieved that everything worked fine till now.

I was simply amazed on listening to this person who just managed to live an austere life for the love of his son and dedicated all his resources to let him live his dreams. He had none of his own and never in the whole conversation did he mention that he regretted anything except the loss of his wife. Although, he also stressed that because that happened he was drawn so much closer to his son that he may not have appreciated had his wife been alive today.

I did not know him from Adam but his synopsis of his life in the whole train journey made me realize the true meaning of success in life. I could never compare the success he achieved in raising and nurturing his son as a single parent with me who was leading a much more relaxed and convenient lifestyle.

The New Teacher

I have a 1 year young son and he has been teaching me everyday since he was born. I am proud to say that I am the student of my child.

He has the weird but unknown strength to be free of stress, fear, anger and hate. Not saying he does not throw a tantrum but it vanishes as soon as it arrives.

I was first set to the learning from children with my nephews, now 8 and 6 years young. They had the unknowing capacity to teach me to tell the truth and I always believed in speaking the truth from there on.Honesty

Lesson 1:
Smile no matter what: 
When he was 2-3 months young, he had the most beautiful smile on his face and he would manage to smile only by seeing or feeling his surroundings. He had the routine crying of wanting milk or change of diapers or wanting to sleep. But his other cries would always be followed with a smile, as though he was thanking the person for fulfilling his need. 

Even to date, he has the uncanny ability to smile after crying. He was never thought how to smile but his ability to bring a smile on the people around him, is unprecedented and holy.

This is the first lesson my child thought me

Lesson 2:
Forget the wrongs and learn to smile: 
He will never be angry with anyone for long. Even if they would shout or scream, which scares him the most. He would have the nerve to go to the person and tap them on their hand or legs and smile at them.

His gesture of love and kindness is noticed by all no one would appreciate that we have to do this in our daily lives as well. This is the Second lesson I learnt from him.

Lesson 3:
Love those who matter to you, NO Matter what:
As he started to grow, his naughtiness and pranks have started. From trying to break our mobile phones to putting almost everything in his mouth and hitting almost anything and anyone.

Every time he is scolded or corrected by me or my wife, he bursts into tears and goes to the one who scolded him. He will approach us and give us a hug and look of affection to say he is sorry. On seeing this, we unknowingly go into an apologetic process and make him smile. There on correcting him not to do it. There is no stopping on his ways and he continues to be scolded day in and night out but his way of not walking away from the one who matter to him, his parents has taught me a valuable lesson.

He has some knowledge of who we are and knows that we matter to him the most. No matter what happens, he refuses to let go of us and wants us even in anger and pain.

There are so many more that he keeps teaching us as we wake up each morning to be with him. 

"Child is the father of man", "A Child gives birth to a Mother" are sayings that are true to each and every letter in the sentence. We have been given the opportunity to be his parents and not the vice-versa. 

Rendez-vous

Walking through a mall on a weekend in India is like going to a market for shopping these days. We have to wait for parking if we go later than 6 pm. The crowds are thronging at the food court, the few seats we get to see along the aisles are also occupied but the shops are not crowded with buyers.

It got my wife to think what would people do if there were no malls today. She asked me, "What would you and your friends do when you were in college?". My instant reply was that we would roam in our colony and take long walks to just stand a gate of the building and have a gala time of the things done or make one the scapegoat for the moment.

She was right to point that people have taken malls as the new destination to meet with friends and spend the evening or even a day. There was no charge to enter the mall and the air conditioning was free on a hot/ rainy/ cold day. The new generation has figured a better alternative to being confined to their buildings/ society / colony to spend time with friends.

Not only the young college going generations but also people of all ages are following the same principle, in note, as we went to observe. We saw the elderly in with their children and grandchildren, young couples holding hands or carrying their new borns. Office going crowd was always the most in the malls but in the groups their came with differed as we noticed.

Once we put our finger on this thought, we shared the same with some close friends and their experiences were even more interesting. Seemingly, one of them was called to the food court in a mall for an interview with an HR recruitment agency and yet another was comfortable to meet a person who her mother asked her to meet for marriage and to get to know the person. She felt that a food court in a mall is well crowded and she would feel safe in the midst of the multitude.

This was a new thought for us to think that every weekend, we too would visit a different mall in Mumbai. The distance to travel was enjoyed with some music and conversation of what happened in the week or just normal life conversations or just abusing the administration of the bad roads and upkeep of the city.

The point is we all have evolved in the way we meet and greet our friends and well wishers. The mall style has changed the way we observe the relationship with a friend or with an acquaintance. Think about it!!!

A Question of How and Why?

Its very intriguing to know how a "Kundli" can actually predict your future. The astrologer or pundit sits with the charts to the time and date of your birth and describes your past and predicts your future.

I have been attracted to this form of prediction in dire needs. Also, some friends suggested it to me, assuming that I would get a little peace to know that good times are around the corner. I cannot imagine what made me go for it, but I was amazed at the way the astrologer predicted my behaviour, my eating habits, my ailments and problems that I had in the past. I was swept off my feet with the things he spoke about me and that too with just numbers in front of him.

I came out a renewed individual with the strength to say that I will be ok and things will get better. But that only lasted for the time until my mind was set into motion of reasoning with the logic shared.

If this individual was able to see the future and predict it to the dot, would not it be cheating to know what my future would be? And if he did do such a good job at predicting the future, would not everyone be in a good place who believed in the astrologers advice? Why do we have to go through the rough phase if the mantras and rituals performed to keep us safe and happy do not work at the time of delivery? If the future is uncertain in all its beings, would not I be the one to mold it with my actions and not what the "Kundli" reads of me?

There were a ton of questions that were germinating in my mind and the roots of reasoning were digging deeper with more time spent on the topic. I kept pondering on the question of why? Do I want to know the future based on the past events and how can anyone know my future and pen it down. Is that what the almighty wanted us to do or are we cheating in the exam called Life?

The thoughts of confusion and paradox theories came to light, I spoke to many people on the said subject. Some less learned than I assumed to be and some less helpful in the logic shared. The internet was loaded with so much of information on the subject that I was getting more confused than ever. With every other site contradicting each other in the commonality of the logic behind astrology and the reasons for the sadness and deprivation of happiness for a few.

Another thought came to mind, of those who were not believers of the astrology phenomenon or even atheists and of those who would not have the yearning to know their future. How would they be making decisions in their lives? Astrology is common only in Asians and knowing the future is part of the eastern culture. People in the Western world do not believe in the said structure. Why are they having better economies and lives than some of us?

There must be something to the whole theory of life. Why do some people struggle with all their decisions and the subsequent results? Where on the other hand, we know of people who were walking on air and getting anything that they dreamed of with the least effort. The 7 year itch or "Panoti"(Hindi word for bad luck)  never reaches their doorstep but resides in the walls of your house to ensure that you get troubled for the rest of your life.

I cannot understand the future and cannot understand life, but I do know that with the more "Why" that come in my quest of understanding life. The calmer and peaceful I become, not in the knowledge that I can change something but that I will have to keep learning from what life has to offer till the day that I am breathing and alive.

The Inconsequent Logic

The door opens and I wait for the step to be, it is not what I expect but I am glad for it is made. I wait to enter the place that I will call my office. My place of learning and enduring.

Since I was a child, I was always intrigued with where my dad would go out every morning and return in the evening. Sometimes, he would let me accompany him for a while at his office to be part of his day. Being an engineer, he always had charts and matrices on his wall and spoke in an engineering lingo that I would listen to with an awe.

I lived through my childhood to wait for the day that I would be part of the brigade that was fueling the world economy into moving ahead. The work force, the employee tag, the Id card, the visiting card. The place that would make me a self accomplished individual.

It started, and I was enjoying every day. I would enter and be there to learn. I would spend more hours than necessary to learn the ways and yearned to be the best.

I ensured, I followed all the logical decisions to ensure a career path that was described in the books and magazines, I read. I was making the greens and I was doing well for myself. 

Life was going good and there were no regrets, I could now stand next to my father and say I am also part of the same work force that you have been with for the majority of your life.

But I was not happy. There was a sense of lose in me. Something was not right, I was in a good place. I had money, friends and time. What more could one ask for? Isn't that what we were taught since we were infants, that we have to be successful in life. That life is defined by the bank balance you have. Well, we may not have been told directly, but it always is part of the scale that measures ones success in life.

I had it all, yet I didnt feel successful. I was living a dream life yet I was sad from inside. Was there a need for a companion in my life to fulfill it? Was it that the job I was into was not fulfilling? Were the friends I had depressing me? I could not put my finger on it.

The missing piece evaded me for years and I kept avoiding it until it was too late. I started to do bad at work, didn't really have a healthy relationship with anyone. I missed out on the laughter and was marooned in my own head, "What is it that is getting me down?" I would constantly ask myself.

It seemed futile to even think about it and I was to give up, until one day I thought of all the "JOBS" that I did, were all logical choices that was made, there was no illogical behaviour or pattern in it. There were a lot of decisions in my life that had logic to it and very few that did not have logic.

I reversed it and started to make illogical decisions, and followed my heart instead of my head. Surprisingly, without my conscious knowledge I was getting back to being the same person I was when I started my career. My life was filled with the same enthusiasm and thrills that existed when I had just crossed the threshold of employment.

It was not the world around me that had changed, it was me that was drifting away from the rules of the world and making my own. I had lost that part of me and it was eating me from the inside.

No more was I sad or missing anything in my life. I followed my gut instinct instead of the education and logical deductions for all my decisions there on.

Today, I am in a much better place and there are opportunities that are unexplored and I can only fathom what would lie ahead.

The illogical heart was my saving grace and my redeemer. I owe my life to it!

Silent Sound of words

"He just cannot keep his mouth shut!" "Why does she not hold her tongue, she does see who she is talking to!" "That person is so irritating that I can snap their neck"

So many times in our lives we are hurt by what or how people speak to us. We are hurt by the words that pierce our ears and make us vulnerable to the emotion of dejection and sadness. Our hearts are torn into pieces, our confidence lost. For some this is followed with tears of sorrow, for some anger and pain, and some react in a violent manner.

There is no excuse for the person who does speak the hurtful words and make us feel the way we do. but why do we let ourselves get hurt by this person. He/she may be a close friend, a relative, a co-worker, a well wisher, boss, or any one who you are speaking to. WHy do we let the words come into our stream of emotion and play with it?

There are few things that we can control and the way another person is speaking or acting is definitely not in our control. So why are we troubling our senses on the words or that are uttered by the person? There is no power in the universe that can enable us to make them stop or avoid such beings from existing. 

Fret not, for a solution does exist. We are the solutions for this problem. while we cannot control the way the others act or react to us, we have the power to shield ourselves or get immune to such words of derogation. We can make a choice, a choice to be in a place of happiness even though the given situation is not in our favour.

In a famous bollywood movie, Munna Bhai. He asks people to start a revolution called Gandhigiri, do not bother of what the other person is doing but smile and retaliate with warmth and kindness. Its easy said than done isnt it.

I have been reading a few religious books recently and am finding that forgiving the offender is much more powerful than wasting my energy on the ones who have done wrong against me. Its a burden that you let go. The day I said, "I forgive you!" I was truly and sincerely happy. You can do it, by sending flowers to the person/s or maybe a thank you card or email. Anyway possible make the other person know that there is a hope for humanity to better itself.

We are into pointing fingers at the rest of the world but we are not willing to make the transition ourselves. Why wait on the world to change? Lets rise and make the world around us a better place. 

The next time you hear those awful words that have just pierced your heart or made you feel miserable. Just say, "Thank you". Remember, this person is making you feel. He/she is making you realise that you are just human and are possibly gullible to the way of the worlds. It is ok to be Human, else you would be an insect or an animal or just a fish in the sea. You have the emotion to shed a tear, to smile, to wake up and appreciate the life you have. Which other animal on this planet is so fortunate to do so?

Just like the way we celebrate our happiness, we should take it in us to celebrate our sadness and pains as well. Lets rejoice in the silence and be the happiness that we dream of being and let not the sound of words bring out the negativity in our lives. 

:) :D 

Tongues of Thorns and Petals

"Why are you getting disturbed with what I have said? It was nothing to get angry about." I didnt realise why would she get angry with me for something as trivial as a statement, " The rice was not cooked properly, maybe next time I should make it".

Have you ever thought of why the person would get disturbed by the words that are being spoken by you. There are times when we really cant understand why people are so sensitive to the words used in our statements.

Last year, we had a case in Mumbai where a political leader passed away due to old age and a couple of girls made a very daunting remark against him on facebook. It was surprising to learn that they were imprisoned and made to endure mental anguish over the comment. The followers of the political leader took it into their stance to ensure the family and relatives of the girls were subject to public humiliation.

Luckily for them, there were high and mighty supporters who supported their freedom of speech and had the case against them revoked. The said party also had the ire of the public when the whole nation was in uproar against the said act.

I am not condoning what the girls did or praising the followers of going the right path. It was a simple statement that should not have had anything more than request to delete the comment. But think from the point of the people who read the comment and made their actions follow. If the comment was not placed in the broad forum, maybe the girls would not have been subjected to the harrowing experience for themselves and their families. Especially in an emotionally charged society as ours.

An example of this isolated case maybe just the tip of the ice berg. There are many such instances that happen in our daily lives that dont lead up to such drastic events that have a dire result. We need to look at our daily lives and the conversations that take place in our homes, offices, malls, shops, road, etc.

More than the listener, I think the person who is saying the words should be careful and not use words that may hurt the sentiment of the other. Not because of what the other person may think, but just as a matter of respect for the individual. 

The other reason for one to be careful with their words is because once it is said, it can never be taken back. The wrong words can and will be held against the person who is saying it. Examples as mentioned above and  our very own politicians who say something in public but later retract their statement. Their excuse is that the media reported it wrongly and was misinterpreted. While their example is not to be followed it is an example to learn from.

A man/woman who says one thing and does another is a person of low value and principles. Such people loose faith and trust very often in their surroundings. In contrary, one who stands by what he/she says and follows it in principle is always worthy of the others trust.

While in college, I had a classmate who would boast of being good in every sport that one would speak of. His boasts were brought to light when there was sporting event and invariably he would hurt himself in the first practise session and would attribute his bad performance to the injury. While we didnt make much of it once or twice, the repeated action and motive of just gaining fame out of his boasts, the truth came to light at a later stage and he was humiliated when he never made the team.

We speak to share our thoughts but we never try to protect the words that are spoken. We fence our houses to be warded off by trespassers, we lock away our valuables to avoid it being stolen. We polish our cars so that it shines in the glorious view of the envious. Why can we not safeguard our words in order for it to be safe from the world and its abuse?

The world is a beautiful place but with people who are there to take advantage of what you say. If we were to churn the thorns from our words and turn them to petals would we not be altruist in our ways. Words of thanks, praise, appreciation, gratitude and honesty are often missed in a conversation.

Would not the world be a better place if we were to share kind words rather than harsh hurting words? If we start the practise at home it will spread its tentacles to the coffers of the office and the other places that we visit. 

Would the anger and hate that exists in individuals not be vanquished when these tongues of petal are not put to use more often? It creates a thought in my mind to why would we not be able to say such words of kindness and avoid the words that bring the confidence of people down or hurt their sentiments.

We then have a road to choose, do we want to use the tongues of thorns or of petals. The outcome is very indicative of what is to be.... It is your choice!

A Planned Coincidence

Has there been an instance which you felt was coincidental to what you were thinking? Or a moment when you thought of something and in due course you received it?

Was it coincidence that you meet an old friend in a restaurant that you are visiting for a first time? Is it coincidence that you meet your spouse when you knew them for years? Is it coincidence when you are working hard on your admission to the best colleges but instead get into a college where you have made the best friends for life?

What is coincidence then? or is it a plan that had been put in place when you were born or even before it? Who created this plan? Who ensured the players comply with the said plan and its success?

Questions of coincidence have long played in most of our minds but we have been avoiding it for a long time. A coincidence happens when you do not know what the future is going to be and when it happens it was just a coincidence. What if you knew the plan and saw the things happening before you; would it still be  termed as coincidence?

I have had an instance where I was longing to call on a friend for a long time and would always think about it but never really did it. And the day I picked up my phone to dial his number, I receive a call from him. And he says, he has been meaning to call you for a while but just did it. To your astonishment it was a call that was meant to happen at a time and place designated for it.

The thoughts in your mind were signals of its occurrences but it would happen only when it was meant to happen. I cannot believe that we as mortals are powerful to create such a plan of motion. I do believe that there is a greater power of strength that is guiding us through the journey called life and in this instance leading us to places that we never did imagine ourselves to be.

Often in times of stress we hear the quotes, "Just as good times dont last forever, bad times will also have a way of passing over." While it sounds motivational, the person going through the stress of bad luck in their lives would understand the situation that is and the future that lies ahead.

Its very disheartening to read in the papers or listen to the news on television when we hear of people ending their lives because of the pressures of society or life itself. Fathers and mothers killing themselves and their off springs to end their misery in this world. Why would people take such actions? Is it their destiny to die a morbid death and not see the rainbow that they were destined for? Did they not try to figure out how to see the light at the end of the tunnel?

The difficulty is in believing that everything happens for a reason and that the almighty power guiding us through this difficult times is also there to help you through it. Why then do people give up their strength in the hope of a better day?

I remember a time in my life when I was on the verge of taking my life and ending the misery but something just happened overnight where I was signaled to fight on, to get up and dust myself and run.  The night that I had thought of going through the dastardly act, a friend came by the house and forced me to join him and his wife for dinner at a local restaurant. I was very reluctant to join them being in the frame of mind to do the unthinkable.  Something inside me said I should go out with them and spend sometime. The evening was filled with memories and laughter, I didnt eat much but I did look around me and the people who entered the restaurant to have their dinner and then I would glance at my friends sitting in front of me. 

The thought, while I was at the restaurant, was of rejoice and breaking through the chains of frustration and sadness. It was like a phoenix of hope was rekindling itself within me and giving me the strength to move on. Its been 5 years since the event happened and today I can proudly say there are no difficulties that I cannot overcome with the light of hope hovering in the prayers and blessings of my near and dear ones.

I remember the day for each moment of my life and do not think it was coincidence for them to have to come at my house on a weekday to save me. It was their and my destiny to be with each other for the time and it was their presence to which I owe my happiness and joy.

I have been subject to many such coincidences in my life and many a times I fail to recognize the plan that is being followed to make me build my foundations of happiness. The times when I did turn a blind eye to it, I would be dejected and frustrated.

When I am alert and aware of the coincidental plans that happen, I see the signs that make me remember the plan that the almighty has in store for me and that I should ready for the good or the bad to come my way based on the circumstances in hand. 

Be aware, of the coincidences in your life. You may never know the plan that has already been put in place for you in the form of this coincidence!!!

The Chain of Appraisals

Did you ever dream of what you wanted to be when you grew up? I certainly did and for sure I was disappointed at what I wanted to be and what I became. From wanting to do wonders in my workplace, I ended up being the person the world wanted me to be.

In the start of my career, all I wanted to do was be the best at what I was doing. I would reach the work place early so that I could have a head start to the day, would blend in with people from different departments so that I would learn what is happening in other parts of the company. I was mostly a learner and a seeker at the place of work.

As the years went by there was a routine that was created in my life, the routine of appraisals. The only thing that was important to me and my colleagues was the day of the appraisal. This was the day that would make our next year. So we would work the year around to ensure the day of the appraisal was filled with results of our work done over a period of time.

This day was to bring us the joy of buying a new car or a house or a watch or anything that we had in mind. This would would determine if we were to live an austere life or could spend lavishly in the year to come.

Our efforts to make ourselves known to be in the top tier rank to ensure we get the best value of the appraisal and the bonus amount is much more than our peers. It was a race to Money mountain.

In all the years, I have never got a worthy rating. I always performed and did well but the statistics were not completely in my favour.

I realised well, to know that the management of a company shows its intentions by the way they reward their people. If they reward them well, they have good intentions for their fellow colleagues and if they don't then they value them as tools to reach a goal.

The astonishment was to see in my peers eyes to their resentment and frustration on the amount shown in their increment/ bonus letters. In one of the MNC companies I was working for, the lady through a fit at our boss and started hurling abuses in the conference room. Her voice was so loud that we could hear her straight through as though she was sitting right next to us.

The poor boss, was as helpless as he could be as he had also not received a good number to his satisfaction and his appraisals were also not that good. She kept on saying that the numbers were not right and she was the performer for 5 months in a row but because she had to take maternity leave that got her average down. Well morally one would have given her the benefit to showcase that the person was talented and it was the ideal way to reward people with talent.

But her appraisal average went down due to her absence and so was her increment and bonus amounts. She would have to wait for a whole year before there was any substantial increase in her salary. This frustrated her and she left the company to join another organisation.

The feeling that crept in me while it was all unfolding before me was whether she made the right decision to leave the company for the reason of money or whether the company was not keen to let her stay. Was there a hidden bias to the company not wanting to have women with children on their workforce. It was a conspiracy theory brewing in my head for sake of excitement. There was a lust in the theory to make it sound more exciting.

I changed many companies in the short tenure of my career and realised that working from an appraisal to the next is the only thrill that existed in the organisation. The joy of enjoying your work, to have a new day and a new beginning everyday at work was lost in transit.

I wonder what would Einstein or Gandhi's appraisal sheet looked like if they ever had one? Did they have goals and targets to reach to achieve what they did? Did they have to be motivated to do their work? What made them the man that we today look back and salute?

The question that posses in my mind is are we really going to do better with company focused goal sheet? or should we not be preparing our personal goal sheet and working towards attaining that goal. Would it not then be likely that we would not have to be motivated by the appraisal sheet and work in the way we best fashion to enjoy what we do.

We have become but the slaves for the want of success. In the want for a better life, we leave life behind and lick the behinds of the gods that run the organisation. There is no apathy to the weak and the strong trample on them. The so call high and almighty of the organisation fail to see it more times than none and the weak fail to realise their potential until it late or too late.

When we break this chain of appraisals is when we are individuals will excel and there after the company or the organisation that we work in or run will have the benefits of the success we dream about.

In Dad we trust!

I keep listening to songs that have an ode to their mothers, the way mothers have always cared for their children and family. But I rarely hear, see or read of how great fathers are.

There are times when I am touched with my fathers love for me and my sisters. He has a weird way of expressing his love and more often than not its over a conversation of cricket, politics or just some news event. His most used phrase of talking to me during my growing up days were, "Let's have a man to man talk". Sometimes he would use the same statement with my sisters as well which I felt was weird, as it should have ideally been, "Lets have a woman to man talk" or "Lets have a Daughter and father talk". 

A mechanical engineer by profession, he excelled in what he did. His engines, as my mother would say, was his first wife. He was always interested in what he did and never worked a day in his life. If I would ever ask about the engines, he would speak about it with pride and an enthusiasm of a boy who would have just learnt of the engines and was starting his career.

He has been the envy and pride of my and my sisters life, ever since I can remember. As a child he was a little aloof and we never got to know him well but as we touched our teenage years he would always be there and speak to us as a friend.

I remember a time during my internship at a hotel and I would work from day break till the wee hours of morning, barely getting 5 hours of sleep. We never met each other for about a week or so staying in the same house. One night when I came back at about 2 in the morning, he was lying on the couch half asleep and waiting for me. I asked him what was he doing up so late and not sleeping as he had to go to work the next day. He replied with all innocence, that he missed talking to me and he had not seen me the whole week. He had stayed up till late just to have a word with me and speak to me about my well being. It was heart breaking that he would do such an act. I was dumb founded and left with no words but just appreciation and gratitude for him.

He never asked anything of life and led the most austere life. His only passions were watching cricket, playing sudoku and having his evening drink. Every birthday, we would ask him what he wanted so that we could buy it for him as a gift from his children but he always gave a blank reply. Never asked for anything but would only give.

My father was always attached to all three of his children. We would always fight with each other to say that they were his favourites and dad would only favour them more than the other. Being the only son and having two sisters, I was ofcourse the favourite child of my father, or atleast that was what I had thought about until I saw him break down on my sisters wedding. For the first time in my life, I saw my father in tears and not willing to let go of her when she was leaving. He kept telling everyone that she was his pride and had given all his love to her to make her strong and bright. I just didnt understand why would such a strong personality would break down at this event. He was happy that she was married but it saddened him that she was leaving him to be a part of another home.

In all the years, I have known dad. He was always the rock that we lay our foundations on. He was strong in thought and knew exactly what he wanted and never asked for more. He would sacrifice for the sake of his family and made sure that we always got the best of what was available or afforded. 

Growing up with him, he has become more of a friend than a father. I dont know a better friend to have than him. Sometimes, we sit and share a drink in the evening and watch his favourite sport of Cricket. The irony is that I hate the game and dont understand why the country of a billion plus people are so crazy of this sport. I still make it a point to be updated with the sport in the little way I can to share the chat with him on the sport. Its nice when he gets excited when Tendulkar makes his mark and scores his runs. In Tendulkar's peak period, dad would not watch the match if he would get out at a low score. His theory was then, that if Tendulkar performs then India would win the match. The statistics spoke a different story years later. 

A few years ago, I was holidaying with my friends in Nasik and received a call in the afternoon from my mother that dad was undergoing angioplasty because he had a 90% blockage in one of his arteries. I was stone cold on hearing it and cancelled the complete trip to make my way back to Mumbai to be with him. I was nervous and anxious to know how and what had happened. In all my life, I cant remember many days when he ever fell sick or caught a fever. He was always the healthy kind with the heart of steel. Never moved by the change of weather or location. To hear that he was going into an operation to for it made me shiver while thinking of it.

I reached the hospital that night and heard the operation was successful and that there was nothing to worry about. He slept through the night and was bright fully surprised to see me wish him well early in the morning. I for one was just happy to see him smile and look alright.

I cant seem to get enough of him, he is the Rock and the stone that the family lives around. His love is only of giving and not asking. A man strong of faith and spirit, A man with the love and respect of his peers and family, A man who would not ask for anything more than he wanted, A dad in who we trust.

A Friend in Deed!!

Have you ever had a friend who was like your mirror in real life? Someone who would understand your feelings before you knew it? Someone who would share your happiness just like you would want it?

I have never had such a friend until recently and our friendship has become so strong that no matter what the fights or the differences we always end up smiling and laughing at the end of the day.

We knew each other by names for a few years and never had the will to speak to the other for the time. Seemingly, the thought was that the other was very pompous and proud and avoided each other. We never thought that we would ever become friends in life but we did and we became more than friends, we fell in love and got married as well.

She has the start and end of any discussion we have and it mostly has to be done her way but sometimes I do nudge in my thoughts and approvals as well. There are long days and there are short days, but through it all we manage to keep the smile. I cant remember a week or a month where we haven't fought and the same month we have pleasant memories of smiling and laughing our hearts out as well..

I have to be humble when I say, she may be right most of the times but is also human to be wrong sometimes. She can keep things cleaner than Monica (Friends Serial) and can be even more irritating than Ross(Friends Serial) but through it all she is as loving and caring as can be.

I suffer from a back ailment where I get sudden back spasms when lifting weight or sitting in a stationary position for long. There has never been a day or time when she has refused to help ease the pain by massaging my back and applying a hot water bag to it. Anytime, that I am hurt or dejected, she is always there to lift my spirits and assure me that things will get better and happiness is just around the corner.

She has a way with things and would be a child when it comes to enjoying. We have a common liking for animated movies and she has a liking to cook. She loves to cook and can churn out some of the most delicious dishes that I have ever tasted. I can proudly blame her for me adding 14 kgs to my hip line after we got married.

Recently, we went to a park with our son to spend a day. My son loves to play in the grass and crawl all over the place. It was amazing to see her toss and roll with him and the sight was of joy and happiness, she kept asking, "Why are you smiling?" and I had no words to describe to her the feeling I had.

Jean has been the strength and the weakness that I can proudly say is what keeps me afloat. A "Thank You" to her would be too less to show gratitude but all that I could do is make her proud in everything that I do.

When in Time...

There is a time… when you want to rhyme. A day in our lives and we feel the world is a bed of roses the path we take is laden with gems and jewels of all colours, the air we breathe is rich and full. The touch of people is obsolete and the taste of food is exaggerated in our tongues.

I am sure we have had this feeling at some point in our lives. It might have been towards another person, towards an achievement or towards some materialistic pleasure that we were gifted. The point of the matter is the feeling.

Now go to the time when you were completely dejected by a thought, a dream or an event. Can we replicate the same feeling when the world around us crumbles? When the walls of happiness start to fade away and the cracks in the paints are seen? Why do we feel bad and loose hope when the things around us are at its worst?

I have witnessed an elongated event that lasted for about 20 months in my life and the factors that seemed irrelevant in my life started to hit me and hit me hard.

I was subjected to being without employment for a while and in the start it was a welcome break as it had been a while since I had time out for myself and I made the maximum use of my time without a minute spent in wallowing my miseries. The months started to wear on and it had become a year that I was without any employment and the eventuality of getting employment was seeming like a distant reality.

The applications were unanswered or were replied with dejecting responses. Failure had become my bride and the world was not ready to accept me when I was down. The few close friends and well wishers would always say, “Don’t worry, everything will be fine. It will just take some time”. In my mind, I always wondered when will that so called time come for me, it was not that I was not qualified or experienced. I am a post graduate and have a string of certifications attached to my name.

The qualifications at time were the reason why the rejections would happen and sometimes it was a step in to the world beyond. The world of employment! It came to a point when I was dejected and depressed, various thoughts and options entered my mind on how to start earning once again.

I tried to become an entrepreneur but realized getting finances from well wishers or family was a task similar to going to the next galaxy. That bombed! Tried various other options and that too was left with little acceptability, it was a crazy world. All hell had broken loose around me and the feeling was of a looser.

The thoughts of suicide and the reasons of being drowned in alcohol had become eventual. I started to borrow money from the same friends and well wishers who were there to help me. Lies became a way of life. I was deep in debt and no revenue source was visible. I had become an alcoholic. I was in need of being in another world and the real world was disturbing and difficult to deal with. There was a slip in my thinking and there was no other way of living life. I knew I was letting go and had to get myself to get a grip of my life and get a way of living in the real world.

That’s when I remembered the times when life was breeze the good days that were lived and enjoyed. The reasons why the enjoyment had been so much more better than ever. When everyday was lived for the day and the tomorrow was a distance away. The thought of happiness started to creep in me. The memories of yesterday gave me the will to live and fight on. No matter what the world would say and how they would look at it. I had to make a way of seeing the things in my sight and not the worlds.

It took me a week to get out of the so called DEPRESSION and I was back on my feet. With the 19 months gone by, I took it in me that within a month I will get a deserving employment opportunity. And I ventured into the market once again. It took me a week or so to start getting interview calls and within two weeks I was in a soup of choosing between jobs. I was back in the game. The feeling and the attitude changed.

I chose a place where I felt I could be happy and wouldn’t feel like working anymore. I settled in it and now it has been 3 years, I have not worked a day in my employment. I enjoy each day as it comes, the weekends spent in the company of the friends and well-wishers who were there and supported me when I was down and out. The days are beautiful and nights a excellent. Life has its ups and downs but I guarantee that with the right attitude one can make the nights seem like day….

The Malady

I stop and stare

You stop and stare

Only our eyes meet

Its just no greet

For a moment I see

You seem to glee

I look you smile,

I am at a distance a mile

There is no way to break the dare

The world is all just bare

Your eyes are at a smile

If only you were just a while

Its just a thought a wish

a dream, it cant exist

for when I see you again.

This life will be again.

There is a moment and I am in the sky

There she stood and I don’t know why

I was in a freeze if not for the breeze

I kept staring and she was there

I kept staring and watched her go by

She was glimpse a glance

A smile a dance

It was a moment not a while

And she was gone without a dial

When will she be here, When will I hear

Time has no hands, and the days have no nights

For she is the breathe and the chant

That I could never have been mine.