Why

I walk in the park and see many people. The faces tell me a story and I like to read these stories. 

The stories are regular features of hate, love, depression, sadness, remorse and the other parts of life. In one of my walks, I sat by a bench and was in my own thoughts when an elderly gentleman came to sit next to me. He was in pain and I could read the story on his face. Duty bound and looking to better the world, I ventured to speak with him.

"Good evening, sir! Isnt this a beautiful place to be"

I dont think he wanted to speak and shared a mute reaction to my statement. I also did not venture further as it was his choice to be on his own and I should respect it.

I sat there on my own realising we are the cause of the why!

Why did this happen to me? Why am I suffering? Why can't good things happen to me? Why am I always the loser?

The "why" in our lives is a place that we are not able to remove./We chose to make ourselves the victim rather than the winner. By questioning our situation at that moment, we forget to understand the universe and it's creation. And since we fail to understand the universe, we fail to understand ourselves.

The question we could be asking ourselves is, why was I born? why did I get to breathe life? why did the sun rise from the east and set in the west? why do plants have veins on their leaves? why do I have veins inside my skin?

Let your mind wander to the nature of truth and realisation. There is a lot, you and I can learn from nature and we can have ourselves associated with such beauty that we would realise how nature forms the part of our universe. In finding the answers to these questions, we will be better equipped to find the answers of life.

No, we do not have to become a sage or a sanyasi or wander off into the jungle to find the answers. All we need to do it take the time in the course of lives to notice people around us, notice the environment around us. See how life builds itself around us. We are part of the universe, there is a reason for our birth and our lives. Find the purpose of your life, and keep asking the why till you have a suitable answer to it.

The pursuit of the Why will bring you to the feet of your problems which you can dust and walk along with a smile.

Remember, all you need to do is ask, "Why?"

The Chain of Appraisals

Did you ever dream of what you wanted to be when you grew up? I certainly did and for sure I was disappointed at what I wanted to be and what I became. From wanting to do wonders in my workplace, I ended up being the person the world wanted me to be.

In the start of my career, all I wanted to do was be the best at what I was doing. I would reach the work place early so that I could have a head start to the day, would blend in with people from different departments so that I would learn what is happening in other parts of the company. I was mostly a learner and a seeker at the place of work.

As the years went by there was a routine that was created in my life, the routine of appraisals. The only thing that was important to me and my colleagues was the day of the appraisal. This was the day that would make our next year. So we would work the year around to ensure the day of the appraisal was filled with results of our work done over a period of time.

This day was to bring us the joy of buying a new car or a house or a watch or anything that we had in mind. This would would determine if we were to live an austere life or could spend lavishly in the year to come.

Our efforts to make ourselves known to be in the top tier rank to ensure we get the best value of the appraisal and the bonus amount is much more than our peers. It was a race to Money mountain.

In all the years, I have never got a worthy rating. I always performed and did well but the statistics were not completely in my favour.

I realised well, to know that the management of a company shows its intentions by the way they reward their people. If they reward them well, they have good intentions for their fellow colleagues and if they don't then they value them as tools to reach a goal.

The astonishment was to see in my peers eyes to their resentment and frustration on the amount shown in their increment/ bonus letters. In one of the MNC companies I was working for, the lady through a fit at our boss and started hurling abuses in the conference room. Her voice was so loud that we could hear her straight through as though she was sitting right next to us.

The poor boss, was as helpless as he could be as he had also not received a good number to his satisfaction and his appraisals were also not that good. She kept on saying that the numbers were not right and she was the performer for 5 months in a row but because she had to take maternity leave that got her average down. Well morally one would have given her the benefit to showcase that the person was talented and it was the ideal way to reward people with talent.

But her appraisal average went down due to her absence and so was her increment and bonus amounts. She would have to wait for a whole year before there was any substantial increase in her salary. This frustrated her and she left the company to join another organisation.

The feeling that crept in me while it was all unfolding before me was whether she made the right decision to leave the company for the reason of money or whether the company was not keen to let her stay. Was there a hidden bias to the company not wanting to have women with children on their workforce. It was a conspiracy theory brewing in my head for sake of excitement. There was a lust in the theory to make it sound more exciting.

I changed many companies in the short tenure of my career and realised that working from an appraisal to the next is the only thrill that existed in the organisation. The joy of enjoying your work, to have a new day and a new beginning everyday at work was lost in transit.

I wonder what would Einstein or Gandhi's appraisal sheet looked like if they ever had one? Did they have goals and targets to reach to achieve what they did? Did they have to be motivated to do their work? What made them the man that we today look back and salute?

The question that posses in my mind is are we really going to do better with company focused goal sheet? or should we not be preparing our personal goal sheet and working towards attaining that goal. Would it not then be likely that we would not have to be motivated by the appraisal sheet and work in the way we best fashion to enjoy what we do.

We have become but the slaves for the want of success. In the want for a better life, we leave life behind and lick the behinds of the gods that run the organisation. There is no apathy to the weak and the strong trample on them. The so call high and almighty of the organisation fail to see it more times than none and the weak fail to realise their potential until it late or too late.

When we break this chain of appraisals is when we are individuals will excel and there after the company or the organisation that we work in or run will have the benefits of the success we dream about.