Relationships – An understanding

Over the years, we have been subjected to movies, serials, family drama and many more to invite us into being in a relationship. Why do we need a partner in our life?

The need of a relationship of man and women or of the same sexes lies in the part of the individual. We cannot be alone for a long time and live in a society of differences. To have a partner who can listen to us, be with us and support us in our life makes a relationship necessary.

Marriage is only a part of the relationship but it is not the need in today’s age. We have many reasons to be married, security, fidelity, legal needs and more importantly a social status for the self. When these relationships are fulfilled one presumes that marriage is the best way to be in a relationship. But is that enough?

To be in a long lasting relationship, one has to be prepared for the challenges and the differences that the other will bring to the table. There are different aspects of a male and a female in a relationship and also in the same sex relationships, the need is the same.

The male personality in the relationship is what holds the union together from a security and financial role. The male personality brings forth the dominance and decisions that the union would need to take for different aspects in life. These personalities are more of the logical and methodical thinking, they are not very emotional and have a very pragmatic approach to life.

The female personality is a care taker and ensures the surroundings of the union is maintained for the emotional and mental serenity. These personalities are emotional, sensitive to talks and touch and have a more heart than head approach to life.

These personalities may exist in both the individuals in a relation but would have a dominated personality that would make them the male or the female personality in the relationship.

Understanding the personality would make the relationship more strong as one would realise their position in the relationship and could work with the other appropriately. We have a lot of other reasons for a person to want to be in a relationship but some of them are not as important as those mentioned above.

We have to look at a relationship as a need for a person to want a partner who can share all their secrets, their thoughts, their dreams and their physical needs without having to succumb to changing their core self. This is the basic need of a relationship and helps the individuals grow in their personality and their relationship too.

A person seeks another for the simple reason of security and comfort. Security for the materialistic and emotional support; and comfort for the one who can strengthen them in times of stress and anxiety.

When these two basic needs are met the bond of the relationship begins and starts to take shape. The next part of the relationship is to sustain and keep it lasting for time or “until death do us apart” scenario.

The maintenance of the relationship is an effort that both the individuals need to put forth to ensure there is harmony. This would entail helping the other with moral, emotional and physical support during the journey. It is not more of the male or less of the female support that makes a relationship, both have to equally contribute to the relation with their personality contributing to the responsibility and maturity required for the relation to last a lifetime or multiple lifetimes (as per the individual beliefs of reincarnation or life after death).

Each step in a relation would be a challenge to the one who is not prepared to understand the core of the relation and what it was formed for. Love is a drop in the ocean of a relation, the maturity of both individuals, sense of appreciation and more importantly the dependence on the other makes the relationship strong.

A relationship between friends would mean there are boundaries that one would keep in interacting with the other and the same applies to a love relation or a relation of benefits.

So why have a close relation when one would have friends to complete the need of social dependability?

The human body is unfortunately not made of the mind only and also has a body to support. The sexual needs of the body have to be addressed and the relationship formed is a core of the sexual needs of both the individuals. If this was possible among friends and there was an understanding of non-commitment then it would have worked among friends of the same or opposite sexes but we are humans and are selfish, we want things that cannot be shared. Especially, when we are in a relationship we treat the other half as our self and do not like to share them with anyone else. This gives rise to the need of fidelity, being in a monogamous and committed relationship. This bond of commitment with the two individuals gives the security and continuity required for the relationship to last the lifetime.

Understanding the mental and physical needs of the individual is key to keeping a relationship to last for a lifetime. Sometimes, the needs are met and over a period of time the two grow out of each other and do not see a need to be in a relationship, committed or not. The separation is evident as the beginning of the relationship was not clearly defined for each of the individuals to be together for the lifetime.

Breakups, divorce are some of the terms we use when the relationship turns sour and has an outcome of ending without continuity. The reasons for this will be shared in the next article to understand why a relationship breaks.