Why

I walk in the park and see many people. The faces tell me a story and I like to read these stories. 

The stories are regular features of hate, love, depression, sadness, remorse and the other parts of life. In one of my walks, I sat by a bench and was in my own thoughts when an elderly gentleman came to sit next to me. He was in pain and I could read the story on his face. Duty bound and looking to better the world, I ventured to speak with him.

"Good evening, sir! Isnt this a beautiful place to be"

I dont think he wanted to speak and shared a mute reaction to my statement. I also did not venture further as it was his choice to be on his own and I should respect it.

I sat there on my own realising we are the cause of the why!

Why did this happen to me? Why am I suffering? Why can't good things happen to me? Why am I always the loser?

The "why" in our lives is a place that we are not able to remove./We chose to make ourselves the victim rather than the winner. By questioning our situation at that moment, we forget to understand the universe and it's creation. And since we fail to understand the universe, we fail to understand ourselves.

The question we could be asking ourselves is, why was I born? why did I get to breathe life? why did the sun rise from the east and set in the west? why do plants have veins on their leaves? why do I have veins inside my skin?

Let your mind wander to the nature of truth and realisation. There is a lot, you and I can learn from nature and we can have ourselves associated with such beauty that we would realise how nature forms the part of our universe. In finding the answers to these questions, we will be better equipped to find the answers of life.

No, we do not have to become a sage or a sanyasi or wander off into the jungle to find the answers. All we need to do it take the time in the course of lives to notice people around us, notice the environment around us. See how life builds itself around us. We are part of the universe, there is a reason for our birth and our lives. Find the purpose of your life, and keep asking the why till you have a suitable answer to it.

The pursuit of the Why will bring you to the feet of your problems which you can dust and walk along with a smile.

Remember, all you need to do is ask, "Why?"

Love 7

Love 7

It is this life that we live and we live it only once.

The happenings in the world today make one depressed with the killings, the hate, the anger and the multitude of feelings that come when we look at the news channel. In all of this, we forget to look next to us.

The house we live in, the family we share our meals with, the office we go to, the transportation we use to reach our destinations.

There is so much of love and kindness around us, we just have to touch this one part of our lives to feel blessed and the we see our world change around us.

Love is not about receiving but about giving. If each one of us could time to express the gratitude and love we have for the other, we could see a change in our lives. There is only one person who can make the change and the person is "I".

Love 7, is not a thought or an obligation. It is the 7 minutes of the day that we can spare for our family, friends, relatives, associates or well wishers. The time we take to say a good thing about them.

Imagine if you have 7 people telling you good things about your self in a day, wouldn't that be a place of heaven for you. Would you like to make this heaven for someone you know.

Spend 7 minutes to say 7 things good about the person you know. Even if it is someone you hate or dislike you may spend sometime to say something good about the person in your mind. Do not have to go and say it in the open. You can have a conversation with yourself to say something good to them.

We can change the world and its misfortunes only if we change ourselves and the people around us.

Love 7

To have, To Receive and To Get

In a day and age of having the best for yourself is a norm. People try different means and methods to have a get rich quick fix. We forget to live our lives in the quest to get rich and show our friends and family. To have the materialistic gains is what we have aimed our destiny.

I was made to believe the materialistic way of life is the place for all to be until I met Saraswati. She is a regular person without any hopes of making it big in the world with a simple understanding of life and the hurdles she faces.

I had to go to the outskirts of Mumbai on work and was waiting at a tea stall for the workers to come. While I was waiting, a lady came with a basket on her head and a baby in her arms. She asked the tea stall lady to help her get the basket down and lay it on the ground.

She went ahead to arrange the basket laden with toys and women's accessories. She was preparing herself sell her goods in the village near by. I was sitting and observing her as she did her work.

As she was getting her basket ready, her daughter, 1 year 5 months young, lay on her lap and slept soundly. She kept to her work of readying the basket and also caring for her daughter. It was a sight to see, how she was making an effort to earn her livelihood. I was only amazed at the courage this lady was showing in the world of material craze with the simple products she kept in her basket to sell.

I approached her and asked her why she was doing so much to make a living. She could have easily stood on the streets like a beggar and made a lot more money. She looked at me with a smile and said, "Sahab, God has gifted me with everything I need to earn my living, why should I beg for my living?" I was shocked and awed by her courage. Her answer had made a dent in my belief that the world is getting worse by the day and humanity is a dying phenomenon. Her ability to live life without the need to have the abundance of money but to have the abundance of time with her child and family was truly mind changing.

Saraswati said, she works 5 hours every day except sunday, when her husband would get an off from work and the time would be spent with family on that day. She carries her baby everywhere she goes and does all the work to ensure her child gets a decent education, something she was not allowed to do since she was a girl. Saraswati was the youngest of three siblings and the only girl. Her brothers were educated and worked in the city, where as she was not sent to school beyond class 8th as her father didn't think it was a worthwhile investment.

Saraswati was not in the shadow of being dejected of depressed with the treatment meted out to her because of her sex. Her ability to stand up and earn her living was proof in itself, to show her strength to fight the world around her in a subtle but defined manner. She was a deity in her actions.

I listened with an open mouth and a head held high to her life and her living. Her mother in law and family were very strict and didnt allow her to move out too often. She had to make them known that she wanted to do it for her and her child's happiness. She said she was blessed with an understanding husband who supported her in her wants and needs of being independent.

I was truly blessed to be within the aura of such a person in my lifetime. A person who showcased strength and courage when the world around her was only trying to pull her down. May the world be blessed for having a person like Saraswati to have, to receive and to get what we deserve and not what we want. 

The Wedding

Weddings are a festive time. The time in one’s life where all the attention is focused on the bride and the groom; they are the center of attraction for that period. I had the fortune of attending a very different monsoon wedding in the picturesque place of Kerala and it was nothing like one would imagine it to be.

The groom, Ravi, was my college friend and from the time I knew him he was always very timid and shy of the world around him. A brilliant mathematician who worked with a well known bank but when it came to socializing he would wet himself before he could muster a word to any person.

The bride was the opposite, an outspoken and bold Bengali, Ananya. She worked with the same bank that Ravi worked in. Seemingly, they started dating a year ago and were captured by each others personalities! I had never met her before the wedding but was amazed at the scenes that were to unfold during the wedding.

Ravi, being the only child to his parents, wanted the wedding to take place in Kerala (their hometown) and asked the girls side to make it there. The inter-caste, inter state marriage was all accepted without any bollywood drama and the dates were set well in time for all to attend it with comfort.

The day before the wedding we (four friends) came to Ravi’s house where we friends were greeted to a traditional keralite family who were not prone to loud music and alcohol in their celebrations. The sound of the flute and drums were heard along with the loud and voracious noises of the women in the place.

We had already decided with Ravi that no matter what his family thinks we needed to have some alcohol to party out and have fun thus celebrating his last night as a bachelor. He had accordingly made arrangements and had kept us locked on his terrace where we could have the fun and frolic at his expense. Of course, the night went out like any other night in which we normally get drunk but the main scene was coming the next day.

The wedding was scheduled in a temple near his residence at 9 am. We had to be at the venue by 0830 am, since we were staying at his residence, we were literally dragged with the whole bandwagon and made to reach the temple on time. The girls side were to arrive at 9 and the procession was to start by then.

The girl’s side did arrive on time and there was some delay in them reaching the mandap. Apparently, they had a wilder night than the boy’s side and some of the girls and the bride included were going through a bad hangover while some were still in the drunken state. They were all being dragged out of the cars in which their arrived and the older women in the family were making weird noises (apparently speaking in Bengali).

Ravi’s mother was terrified at what she was seeing and wondered for a brief moment if this was the perfect bride for her son. There was mayhem and hysteria in the boys side for the next few minutes. Ananya finally managed to make it to the mandap and take the ferras as directed. Next she was to say the vows in Malayalam and repeat what the pandit was saying, to fulfill the traditions.  Instead, she burst out saying, “What is this baldy speaking about yaar?” We were enjoying the scene that kept unfolding and having the time of our lives but Ravi’s parents were gritting their teeth and holding back all they had until they had the right opportunity to get back.

What followed in the remaining wedding process remained an inspiration to all of us. Ananya went on to puke in the temple and then ask for another peg from the pandit. Ravi had no clue whether to scold her or run away from there. The poor guy stood and held her with all his strength to finish the traditions and be gone from there.

The time for the ceremonies lasted for about 45 minutes, it lasted longer than usual thanks to the intervals and breaks in the ceremonies. As soon as it was over, she threw her garland in the air and asked the other spinster girls to catch it (an amalgamation from the western weddings). Unfortunately, the garland didn’t go too far as she threw it up in the air and it got stuck on the ceiling. Ravi now looking clearly embarrassed with the occurrences whisked her away and took her to the hotel to get her changed and fresh for the reception and lunch that followed. A few of us tagged along to help him and the other girls in getting ready.

It took a while before Ananya realized what she had done and by that time it was time to go for the reception, she was left with a bad hangover and droopy eyes. She made it through the whole ceremony of thanking people and smiling constantly at the camera. We were enlisted to keep water and an empty bucket ready just incase she wanted to have a go at emptying her bowels the wrong way again.

The wedding ended with Ananya having a small bite and then dozing off in the wedding car with Ravi greeting others and thanking their presence to the wedding. It was a wedding like never before and never seen, I still cannot stop giggling when I think about the events that took place on that eventful wet September morning. We still look at the pictures and watch the wedding movie to have a good laugh when we need it.

I am not sure there will be partying before the wedding day at any other weddings of Ravi and Ananya’s families. This wedding left all of us drunk with the memories of a beautiful day that was made much more eventful owing to the bride to be!!!

The Multi-Specialty Cuisines

A couple of months ago I had read an article on the restaurants in the city which have been going through a change of the menu they offered. The article stated that the traditional outlook of specialty restaurants were slowly in a state of becoming the more infamous multi-cuisine restaurant. The Pasta shops now would serve a variety of Continental and Chinese, the Indian specialty had some Chinese menu to it or that the Chinese corner now had some Indian dish to it. I was quite surprised at the revelation and as I would enjoy a meal in a restaurant I was actually reminded of this trend when I would see the menu change over a period of time and the alarming menu that would be presented to me.

In a recent outing to a Pizza joint, I was surprised to see a menu card that had more items other than a pizza. They had starters, pasta, soups and salads along with desert. While in the past, we would always venture to different places to have the choice of food that would tickle our palates now we can enjoy the same in the pleasures of a single place. This is a very good but yet and ugly trend that is being circulated in the city and we are not realizing what we are actually missing.

The times taken to prepare a dish along with the natural flavours are lost. Customers want it as soon as possible and are not ready to wait for their meal they are impatient. In a bid to satisfy the customer, restaurants are starting to employ quick and modern methods of cooking have changed the way the food would traditionally taste, the emphasis is on the presentation and not on the flavours. The food looks good but when you eat it, there is a definite let down in the taste and the flavours. Have you ever eaten a tandoori dish from a restaurant recently, 9 out of 10 times your hands will be red by the time you are done with your meal because of the excess colouring used to give the touch of red to the dish. The pasta is always either too dry or too mushy due to the stagnation in open air before it is served.

If you are a person of admirable taste and you relish what you eat, these are things that you will notice the next time you are out and enjoying an overpriced dish that has lost its flavor from the start.

• Look to see the ambience of the place, there is a definite evidence to look at the worthiness of the place and the seriousness in the owners to make the customers comfortable and welcomed.
• How are the stewards, waiters dressed? This is a clear indication on the hygiene of the outlet and the health concerns that govern the food preparations.
• The cutlery is an important read. If they are washed properly and shine in the light on the tube lights or fluorescent lights. They are the right place to be.
• The serving pattern is another important aspect of the process. Is the serving done in process or in a wayword manner? lets not follow the western philosophies of serving, there may be a reason for it but in India we like to be served with love and affection to enjoy the food we eat. 
• The last and most important aspect is to taste the food and reason out the flavours that are burried in the pores of the dish you have ordered or has been recommended by the server. This will be the judge of all the other reasons that you may forgo, like the ambience, the hygiene, the service process, the taste and the texture of the dish is the reason why we go to the outlet more than once.

Of course, there are places that have retained the traditional way of cooking and the food is mouthwatering and delicious. Places where you would not only recommend but would frequent yourself. Its time we demand quality rather than look at the quantity of the food at reasonable prices.