The Drive.....

It was just another day going to work or was I mistaken?

A monday morning all ready to start the week, the car engine roared and I took a deep breath to focus my attention to the week ahead. As I reversed from the garage I could faintly remember the beautiful weekend that just passed by and how I wished it were a day or two longer.

The traffic was at its peak and was at snail's pace. As I waited at the signal I saw the beggars making their rounds at each car. A woman was carrying a child, not more than 2 years, on her waist and walking from car to car begging for money. She was using the child as a tool to persuade the occupants in the car to give her money.

I looked and wandered about the child and what would be his/her plight in all of this. He would be groomed to be a thief or a beggar when he would grow up. His life was meant to be doomed from the time he/she took his/her first breath of air and started to cry. The cry would have been of pain rather than of happiness to be welcomed into the world of misery.

I sat back and thought of the children who I had met, children of my cousins, friends, acquaintances. All those children would have had been born in the same manner as the child on the street but their destiny would have definitely been different to the child in front of me. The love, care and tenderness their parents bestowed on them would be only a dream for this little one.

If fate had played its cards right, this child could have been an asset to society. He/she could have been a writer, an actor, an engineer, a doctor or any other professional but because of the bad parenting he/she was to be in the life of misery with the goons of society.

The drive didnt last long as the thought of the child kept playing in my head and made me wonder. What could I have done to make this a better place for the children of tomorrow? How could we as the elders of today work to make the city a better place for all to live in?

If we all were to make our cities, towns and villages a safe haven for children that would be a start to ensuring our children would not have to bear the same brunt or anguish that we as children may have had to endure.

The drive to make this world a better place needs to begin and start at home. Else there would never be a home left for the future generations.

A Planned Coincidence

Has there been an instance which you felt was coincidental to what you were thinking? Or a moment when you thought of something and in due course you received it?

Was it coincidence that you meet an old friend in a restaurant that you are visiting for a first time? Is it coincidence that you meet your spouse when you knew them for years? Is it coincidence when you are working hard on your admission to the best colleges but instead get into a college where you have made the best friends for life?

What is coincidence then? or is it a plan that had been put in place when you were born or even before it? Who created this plan? Who ensured the players comply with the said plan and its success?

Questions of coincidence have long played in most of our minds but we have been avoiding it for a long time. A coincidence happens when you do not know what the future is going to be and when it happens it was just a coincidence. What if you knew the plan and saw the things happening before you; would it still be  termed as coincidence?

I have had an instance where I was longing to call on a friend for a long time and would always think about it but never really did it. And the day I picked up my phone to dial his number, I receive a call from him. And he says, he has been meaning to call you for a while but just did it. To your astonishment it was a call that was meant to happen at a time and place designated for it.

The thoughts in your mind were signals of its occurrences but it would happen only when it was meant to happen. I cannot believe that we as mortals are powerful to create such a plan of motion. I do believe that there is a greater power of strength that is guiding us through the journey called life and in this instance leading us to places that we never did imagine ourselves to be.

Often in times of stress we hear the quotes, "Just as good times dont last forever, bad times will also have a way of passing over." While it sounds motivational, the person going through the stress of bad luck in their lives would understand the situation that is and the future that lies ahead.

Its very disheartening to read in the papers or listen to the news on television when we hear of people ending their lives because of the pressures of society or life itself. Fathers and mothers killing themselves and their off springs to end their misery in this world. Why would people take such actions? Is it their destiny to die a morbid death and not see the rainbow that they were destined for? Did they not try to figure out how to see the light at the end of the tunnel?

The difficulty is in believing that everything happens for a reason and that the almighty power guiding us through this difficult times is also there to help you through it. Why then do people give up their strength in the hope of a better day?

I remember a time in my life when I was on the verge of taking my life and ending the misery but something just happened overnight where I was signaled to fight on, to get up and dust myself and run.  The night that I had thought of going through the dastardly act, a friend came by the house and forced me to join him and his wife for dinner at a local restaurant. I was very reluctant to join them being in the frame of mind to do the unthinkable.  Something inside me said I should go out with them and spend sometime. The evening was filled with memories and laughter, I didnt eat much but I did look around me and the people who entered the restaurant to have their dinner and then I would glance at my friends sitting in front of me. 

The thought, while I was at the restaurant, was of rejoice and breaking through the chains of frustration and sadness. It was like a phoenix of hope was rekindling itself within me and giving me the strength to move on. Its been 5 years since the event happened and today I can proudly say there are no difficulties that I cannot overcome with the light of hope hovering in the prayers and blessings of my near and dear ones.

I remember the day for each moment of my life and do not think it was coincidence for them to have to come at my house on a weekday to save me. It was their and my destiny to be with each other for the time and it was their presence to which I owe my happiness and joy.

I have been subject to many such coincidences in my life and many a times I fail to recognize the plan that is being followed to make me build my foundations of happiness. The times when I did turn a blind eye to it, I would be dejected and frustrated.

When I am alert and aware of the coincidental plans that happen, I see the signs that make me remember the plan that the almighty has in store for me and that I should ready for the good or the bad to come my way based on the circumstances in hand. 

Be aware, of the coincidences in your life. You may never know the plan that has already been put in place for you in the form of this coincidence!!!

The Wedding

Weddings are a festive time. The time in one’s life where all the attention is focused on the bride and the groom; they are the center of attraction for that period. I had the fortune of attending a very different monsoon wedding in the picturesque place of Kerala and it was nothing like one would imagine it to be.

The groom, Ravi, was my college friend and from the time I knew him he was always very timid and shy of the world around him. A brilliant mathematician who worked with a well known bank but when it came to socializing he would wet himself before he could muster a word to any person.

The bride was the opposite, an outspoken and bold Bengali, Ananya. She worked with the same bank that Ravi worked in. Seemingly, they started dating a year ago and were captured by each others personalities! I had never met her before the wedding but was amazed at the scenes that were to unfold during the wedding.

Ravi, being the only child to his parents, wanted the wedding to take place in Kerala (their hometown) and asked the girls side to make it there. The inter-caste, inter state marriage was all accepted without any bollywood drama and the dates were set well in time for all to attend it with comfort.

The day before the wedding we (four friends) came to Ravi’s house where we friends were greeted to a traditional keralite family who were not prone to loud music and alcohol in their celebrations. The sound of the flute and drums were heard along with the loud and voracious noises of the women in the place.

We had already decided with Ravi that no matter what his family thinks we needed to have some alcohol to party out and have fun thus celebrating his last night as a bachelor. He had accordingly made arrangements and had kept us locked on his terrace where we could have the fun and frolic at his expense. Of course, the night went out like any other night in which we normally get drunk but the main scene was coming the next day.

The wedding was scheduled in a temple near his residence at 9 am. We had to be at the venue by 0830 am, since we were staying at his residence, we were literally dragged with the whole bandwagon and made to reach the temple on time. The girls side were to arrive at 9 and the procession was to start by then.

The girl’s side did arrive on time and there was some delay in them reaching the mandap. Apparently, they had a wilder night than the boy’s side and some of the girls and the bride included were going through a bad hangover while some were still in the drunken state. They were all being dragged out of the cars in which their arrived and the older women in the family were making weird noises (apparently speaking in Bengali).

Ravi’s mother was terrified at what she was seeing and wondered for a brief moment if this was the perfect bride for her son. There was mayhem and hysteria in the boys side for the next few minutes. Ananya finally managed to make it to the mandap and take the ferras as directed. Next she was to say the vows in Malayalam and repeat what the pandit was saying, to fulfill the traditions.  Instead, she burst out saying, “What is this baldy speaking about yaar?” We were enjoying the scene that kept unfolding and having the time of our lives but Ravi’s parents were gritting their teeth and holding back all they had until they had the right opportunity to get back.

What followed in the remaining wedding process remained an inspiration to all of us. Ananya went on to puke in the temple and then ask for another peg from the pandit. Ravi had no clue whether to scold her or run away from there. The poor guy stood and held her with all his strength to finish the traditions and be gone from there.

The time for the ceremonies lasted for about 45 minutes, it lasted longer than usual thanks to the intervals and breaks in the ceremonies. As soon as it was over, she threw her garland in the air and asked the other spinster girls to catch it (an amalgamation from the western weddings). Unfortunately, the garland didn’t go too far as she threw it up in the air and it got stuck on the ceiling. Ravi now looking clearly embarrassed with the occurrences whisked her away and took her to the hotel to get her changed and fresh for the reception and lunch that followed. A few of us tagged along to help him and the other girls in getting ready.

It took a while before Ananya realized what she had done and by that time it was time to go for the reception, she was left with a bad hangover and droopy eyes. She made it through the whole ceremony of thanking people and smiling constantly at the camera. We were enlisted to keep water and an empty bucket ready just incase she wanted to have a go at emptying her bowels the wrong way again.

The wedding ended with Ananya having a small bite and then dozing off in the wedding car with Ravi greeting others and thanking their presence to the wedding. It was a wedding like never before and never seen, I still cannot stop giggling when I think about the events that took place on that eventful wet September morning. We still look at the pictures and watch the wedding movie to have a good laugh when we need it.

I am not sure there will be partying before the wedding day at any other weddings of Ravi and Ananya’s families. This wedding left all of us drunk with the memories of a beautiful day that was made much more eventful owing to the bride to be!!!

The Beauty of G-W-L

The first sight of her is in the form of a mother, then if you are lucky you get to see her as your sister and then as your wife. All the three forms are packed with love, care and a fragile touch of comfort. There isn't a soul on this planet who would not have been touched by their presence at some point or the other in their lives. Most of the sons are closer to their mothers than their fathers. But still in our very great and progressing country there are episodes of infanticide and the killing of the GIRL child. The understanding that a girl is not lucky for a family without a boy.

I read about a couple who kept having kids but were so lucky to be blessed with girls and they had 4 of them but the husband and the in-laws were not happy with the girls as they wanted to have a boy in the family. The result was that the fifth time they got lucky. The irony of it is that when they grew old and wanted their son to take care of them, it was the daughters who came to their aid and supported them when they needed the love and comfort the most.

I have been among the few who has been blessed with two sisters, one elder and the other younger to me. Although, I was the middle one, I was pampered by both my sisters and showered with unconditional love and care all the time. I must state that I have been really greedy of it and have tried to reciprocate the same towards them when I could, but I got more than I gave!!

In the last few years, the bachelors states of Punjab and Haryana are facing a major crisis. There is a shortage of woman for them to get married to. I recently saw a documentary on one of the Indian news channels which showcased their plight. Apparently, they are going down south to find brides for themselves in Maharashtra and Kerala. The ironic part is that they are giving dowry to the girls side to get married to them and the same parents who would profess the boy is lucky for them are now treating the daughter in laws with a lot of dignity and respect. This is something that they have now started to realize and have initiated a drive of information to the literate illiterates the importance of the girl child.

World over, the most prosperous nations have been the ones where the Female sex has been given more or equal opportunities as men and the developing and third world nations are the ones that are still in the primitive age of treating them as a second to the Males. Look around you and see it for yourselves. Compare it and you will find the reasons for it is all inter-linked to the support of the people and its benefits. There are exceptions like the gulf states but yet they are progressing faster than most countries as far as equality is in question.

Honest Diplomacy

“Honest Is the Best Policy” seems to be a saying that has remained as words with no action to it. Have you ever noticed the trend lately that when you are honest you’re rewarded with some punishment rather than an appreciation for the honesty shown. Take any instance in your life, when in school and we committed a mistake we were rewarded with either kneeling in front of the class, a beating or to the extremes of suspension. When we are honest about our feelings with our boy/girl friend, who we were intimate with it, we were rewarded with anger or rejection. When we are honest with our jobs and voice our honest opinions against the wrongs of the senior or colleague, we are rewarded with demotion or treated as an outcast or worse termination. When we try to be honest with our spouse, it is rewarded with fights and worse a divorce, which has actually become a flavor of the day.

It is so ironic that throughout our childhood we are always taught to be honest and true to our feelings and actions. This is as long as we are in the care of our parents and school’s comfort but as we enter into the senior stages of our lives and close in to the threshold of a career it seems that honesty is the worst policy and with every honest word uttered there is a sense of agitation against you. The world starts to treat you as a handicap and fails to understand the importance of your words and your action of being honest.

There was nothing to worry for all the honest people, because after the sunset comes the sunrise and we were introduced to a new fundamental of life, “Diplomacy”. This is the new strategy that we would need to use to grow to the success; defined by our parents and society in general. Diplomacy is the way of life, smile at the wrong and walk past the fallen. In the lingo of the corporate world, SYA(Save Your Arse). It clearly means, steer away from those who are trying to be honest in this cruel world, turn a blind eye to the righteous and welcome the wrongs and dishonesty into the place of work or life by itself. If we stop and take a look around us we will be surprised that we are engulfed by this sin and yet we are reluctant to change it.

Let us take a famous example. Andre Agassi, is a well known tennis player having won many Tennis grand slams in his prime. In his recent book, he mentioned that he was addicted to pleasure drugs during his prime as he was in a bout of depression and had to cope with it. In no way, were the drugs enhancing his playing skills; it was his personal abilities that enabled him to win. However, on his honest revelation in his book he was taunted, put down and said it’s a shame that he had taken the drugs, as it was a violation of the code of conduct for the sports fraternity. I am not glorifying the wrong here or saying that what he did was right. I am stressing on the point that had he not written about it in his book none of us would have know about it and none of us would have had a second opinion about him. Not even the sports bodies that are suddenly making a hue and cry about the whole issue. They never detected it when he was taking it, let alone now. They cannot even prove that he did take the drugs and that it was not a simple publicity stunt by the sportsman to sell his book.

“It’s not about what you say but what is perceived by the other person.” This is what a friend of mine had shared with me in the early days of my college as I was among those honest lot of people who were mostly shunned away for their straightforward and honest opinion. Today I am the diplomatic and calm person who had been battered with society’s irony of honesty and am a good diplomat. Thanks to the change in me I suddenly have more friends and more acquaintances who are becoming friends. Hence, I say to all those who are entering into the threshold of their careers and to those who are straightforward in their approach. In the 21st century, honesty is taking a break and it’s DIPLOMACY that has become the best policy for all.

College Vs Work

The days of college are never forgotten. But the irony was that when we were in college we couldnt wait to start working and earning a living and now that we are in the working environment we yearn for the days of the college. Why is it that we yearn for the college days?

Those were the times when friends were friends, when help was always round the corner. There was never a time when someone would try to make the day bad for you unless you were in some wrong group. The times when we were short of cash and borrowed some to have that extra drink or smoke at night with the gang. The times when because of the limited amount of resources, we would share a single cigarette among 8 of us or if we couldn't afford cigarettes we would graduate to a biddi or two. It was a time of glorious fun and time of forgetting the worries. And now, there is no time for the same friends to keep in touch. The splurging of money to show their peers how well they are doing in life with the cars and houses that they buy. The jealousy among the same friends who would once share clothes because they didnt have enough money to wash them or that they looked good on the other. The other colleague in the office who is eyeing your job and wants to show off to prove you wrong. The boss who is scared if he/ she promotes you his/her job will be at stake. The constant politics and games played at the work place!!

Classes were made to bunk or sleep in, rarely did anyone actually pay attention to a lecture and the tutors were always worried what would happen to the people after they graduated. Exams were something of no worries, a last minute study and the chits made to make sure that if someone doesnt know the answer we pass it on to the other and share the marks and the answer sheets. And now, the office is filled with people who are rooting for your doom. Help is in the form of crushing you and getting into your seat, there is no trust or belief in the other person next to you. The same competition that made good friends in college is now making you a enemy of the colleague you work in with greed, envy and jealousy being a part of the relation shared.

College was a time of no complications. There was always the girl/boy who you liked and the first time proposal that you planned on making but were scared to approach. The first time you said the three words and the world was bouncing all around you. The sheer joy and ecstacy of holding the others hand and going for a walk or a movie or sharing a sandwich at the college canteen. If you proposed a girl/boy the answer would either be a yes or no and a very simple no thank you or a yes. But now after college you want to get married and there are a thousand questions that have to be answered. Is he/she from the same community, what caste, creed or religion is he/she from? What do his/her parents do? where are his/her siblings? blah blah blah blah.... the complications of a simple relation.... not only is the start of the relation so difficult the complications of the wedding day and the rituals to followed, the wants of both the sides of the family and the relatives. And then the marriage starts with the wants and expectation of both the girl and the boy changing and the COMPROMISE and ADJUSTMENTS start for both the sides!

Where was the simple and easy life when college was on in comparison to what life is now treating us with? I sometimes wonder if this need of envy, jealousy and greed of materialism would get us anywhere at any time. There are so many things out there for us to enjoy but the green monkey is always on our back to remind us of its importance and how we cannot live without it!!!

This is the irony and the symphony of life. So its addios to the wonderful college life and hello to a life in the rat race. In a way we have become rats in life as well!!!