Making a difference

I have lived a life worthy of happiness, but yet there is anger, hate, jealousy, bitterness. The life that I can choose to make better is but a place that I can make sad and frustrating.

With the world making a turn for the worse, there is a motivation to be bitter and sad. Making each day ever more depressing than the previous. We have created a shell of resentment which gives us happy.

Making the blame possible because of someone around us or external to our self is so much more a way of life than a reason to change our selves. We are the reflection of our thoughts and our emotions. We make the difference only by being who we want to be.

The question then comes who am I? and what is the reason for such depression around us. The law of attraction states that what we think is what we receive. Then, why are there happy people who are sad? why is there grief in a family who is always doing good for others? what makes the world move with so much of hate and bigotry.

The answer to all these questions is with the person in the mirror. The person who wants to make it happen. You and I are the people who make terror exist, you and I are the cause of all that is happening in the world.

So make the difference. Stop promoting TV where there is hate, help someone who you do not know and make the difference. LOVE 7 spread the love to 7 people who you do not know and let them be a part of your life. Let them know that they are the reason for their smile. Then we have an epidemic of love that will spread to every corner of this earth to make the world a better and greener place.

When we choose to make love a residence of our soul, we choose to make the world a better and greener place, we choose to make a difference in the world we live it. The choice is to be of the individual to help others and in directly help the self by spreading the love to the masses and ensuring the love continues.

May we all start by smiling at the other irrespective of their caste, creed, colour, race, ethnicity or any other reason that we have created to differentiate each of us from the other.

Love 7 the mantra to make 7 people who we do not know to make the difference and that will make the change that we are looking for to happen. 

In getting up after falling, I Trust!

There is something happening in our lives everyday, sometimes we give credit to luck and the other times to destiny. The question that arises in my mind, is whether there was any destiny or any luck involved in the occurences of our lives.

There are instances in our lives when we are regretful of the actions of our past or present and the same actions result in something better happening to us. The act of loosing a friend or a spouse or a job or not doing well in the activity that we were engrossed in for a period of time. The loss of the moment creates a sense of despair in our minds which results in us being depressed and aloof from the world for the given or elongated period of time.

I dont thing this was the way it was meant to be. I have come to realise that the bad events in our life is a wake up call from the Creator/God, instructing us to do what we are here to do. We may be in a wrong profile of work which we have not been created for or we may be in a relationship that was not supposed to exist or we may not be saving a relationship that we were supposed to endure for a life time. The question of why are we here in this world and what is our purpose is made clear with all the bad events in our lives.

So if I am going through a bad phase in life, I think it would be wise to take a step back and instrospect into the reality of my strengths and the colours that need to be put on the painting. Dive deep into the realm of myself and study the creators engineering marvel and that is myself. I was not created to be a looser in any worldly sense. God created me for a better purpose.

For those who are happy in their environment, take time to look for a person who you can put a smile on. PAY IT FORWARD; do the good deed of making the next person happy. Unlike in the movie, do not stop at 3 persons but go forward to make many more lives happy. You never know when the favour will pay it forward, back to you. :)

For those who are in a place of doubt, look within and see the champion that is lying dormant. Awaken the giant and walk into the path of happiness. Remember, not all who are financially rich are happy and not all who are financially poor unhappy. Take your pick from the choice. :)

The Spirit of Success

I am simply amazed at the people I see around me everyday. The different facets of life that they come from and the work they do with the dreams which each one of them aspire for. Some of them have dreams for themselves and some dream for their families or loved ones. I happened to come across such an individual in a train journey in the local trains of Mumbai.

I had had a very bad day at work and all I wanted to do was reach home and get some rest so that I could face another day at work. I was in two minds whether to continue the job or to remain with the company to pursue my social career.

I boarded the train at Churchgate station which is the closest railway station from Nariman Point and on my way to Borivali. I was lucky to get the seat that would change the way I looked at life and the hurdles that came along with it. The train was fairly empty on a Saturday afternoon as the weekend had already started for most of the office goers. I took a window seat and sat starting out of the window and thinking of how I hated my job and the life that I was leading. Then they came in and sat right opposite me and were already in the midst of a conversation that I assumed had started sometime earlier.

There were two elderly gentlemen, Mukund and Salil, who were maybe in their late forties and were discussing about their lives and its problems. Mukund was explaining to Salil how his life was filled with problems. I was sitting in my own grief and didn’t want to hear another sob story from anyone to make me feel more disserted than I already was but I listened to their conversation since I had nothing better to do.

Mukund was describing the way he was married to a girl in his early twenties by an arranged marriage and after 5 years of marriage and a son of 2 years she passed away in a freak accident. Apparently, the driver was drunk and slammed into his wife when she was returning home late at night from her mother’s place. He couldn’t do anything to the driver since his father was in the high and mighty of the then ruling political party and had already threatened dire consequences if he had to pursue the case against him.

He was left with a 2 year old to take care of him and raise him on his own. A second marriage was out of the question as no girl wanted to be with a widower and would obviously not shower the same love on the child as his real mother. He took the responsibility of raising his child on his own and making sure he got all that he could give him.

It took a while before both of them had adjusted to the new life ahead of them. He had rarely cooked and cleaned the house or done any house hold chores as his wife had him pampered with just sitting and relaxing while she did the needful. Nor had he spent much time with his son in cleaning his diapers and making his meals. He was always the one who would put him to sleep or play with him while she would do the rest of the chores.

Working as an executive in a Multi-national company only gave him security of his job but really didn’t take care of the payments and the time that he could spend with his child. To add to it, his son had a weak immune system and was as notorious as hell. Mukund would be often called from his school telling him he is sick or injured himself. A single dad was no joke for him to handle and he was terrified. He thought of asking his parents to stay with him so that they could help with the nurturing and care of his son while he was away but that was not possible as they themselves were too old to take care of themselves. It resulted in years of running around from home to work and then from his school to various doctors who were poking into him and giving various medications to cure his son’s weak immune system.

Till the age of 7 he was always falling ill on regular intervals and his medical bills would always be a worry for Mukund. Apparently, all through it he had always kept his calm and never wondered of what the worst could bring. He had almost stopped meeting and greeting friends and all his other worldly pleasures had come to a standstill for that time. He was determined to raise his son and impart the affection of both the parents to him.

The thing that really inspired me was that all through this he and his son shared a bond that rarely a father and son would get to share in a normal family. His son went on to become a chef and was working in a leading star hotel and doing well for himself. Mukund said that his son was getting married in a couple of months and he was looking forward to it. Now he was busy with all the wedding preparations and was relieved that everything worked fine till now.

I was simply amazed on listening to this person who just managed to live an austere life for the love of his son and dedicated all his resources to let him live his dreams. He had none of his own and never in the whole conversation did he mention that he regretted anything except the loss of his wife. Although, he also stressed that because that happened he was drawn so much closer to his son that he may not have appreciated had his wife been alive today.

I did not know him from Adam but his synopsis of his life in the whole train journey made me realize the true meaning of success in life. I could never compare the success he achieved in raising and nurturing his son as a single parent with me who was leading a much more relaxed and convenient lifestyle.

When in Time...

There is a time… when you want to rhyme. A day in our lives and we feel the world is a bed of roses the path we take is laden with gems and jewels of all colours, the air we breathe is rich and full. The touch of people is obsolete and the taste of food is exaggerated in our tongues.

I am sure we have had this feeling at some point in our lives. It might have been towards another person, towards an achievement or towards some materialistic pleasure that we were gifted. The point of the matter is the feeling.

Now go to the time when you were completely dejected by a thought, a dream or an event. Can we replicate the same feeling when the world around us crumbles? When the walls of happiness start to fade away and the cracks in the paints are seen? Why do we feel bad and loose hope when the things around us are at its worst?

I have witnessed an elongated event that lasted for about 20 months in my life and the factors that seemed irrelevant in my life started to hit me and hit me hard.

I was subjected to being without employment for a while and in the start it was a welcome break as it had been a while since I had time out for myself and I made the maximum use of my time without a minute spent in wallowing my miseries. The months started to wear on and it had become a year that I was without any employment and the eventuality of getting employment was seeming like a distant reality.

The applications were unanswered or were replied with dejecting responses. Failure had become my bride and the world was not ready to accept me when I was down. The few close friends and well wishers would always say, “Don’t worry, everything will be fine. It will just take some time”. In my mind, I always wondered when will that so called time come for me, it was not that I was not qualified or experienced. I am a post graduate and have a string of certifications attached to my name.

The qualifications at time were the reason why the rejections would happen and sometimes it was a step in to the world beyond. The world of employment! It came to a point when I was dejected and depressed, various thoughts and options entered my mind on how to start earning once again.

I tried to become an entrepreneur but realized getting finances from well wishers or family was a task similar to going to the next galaxy. That bombed! Tried various other options and that too was left with little acceptability, it was a crazy world. All hell had broken loose around me and the feeling was of a looser.

The thoughts of suicide and the reasons of being drowned in alcohol had become eventual. I started to borrow money from the same friends and well wishers who were there to help me. Lies became a way of life. I was deep in debt and no revenue source was visible. I had become an alcoholic. I was in need of being in another world and the real world was disturbing and difficult to deal with. There was a slip in my thinking and there was no other way of living life. I knew I was letting go and had to get myself to get a grip of my life and get a way of living in the real world.

That’s when I remembered the times when life was breeze the good days that were lived and enjoyed. The reasons why the enjoyment had been so much more better than ever. When everyday was lived for the day and the tomorrow was a distance away. The thought of happiness started to creep in me. The memories of yesterday gave me the will to live and fight on. No matter what the world would say and how they would look at it. I had to make a way of seeing the things in my sight and not the worlds.

It took me a week to get out of the so called DEPRESSION and I was back on my feet. With the 19 months gone by, I took it in me that within a month I will get a deserving employment opportunity. And I ventured into the market once again. It took me a week or so to start getting interview calls and within two weeks I was in a soup of choosing between jobs. I was back in the game. The feeling and the attitude changed.

I chose a place where I felt I could be happy and wouldn’t feel like working anymore. I settled in it and now it has been 3 years, I have not worked a day in my employment. I enjoy each day as it comes, the weekends spent in the company of the friends and well-wishers who were there and supported me when I was down and out. The days are beautiful and nights a excellent. Life has its ups and downs but I guarantee that with the right attitude one can make the nights seem like day….

Die for Diet!

About 3 years ago, I would weigh about 112 kgs and standing at 6’1” I was a ugly shape of a deformed Goliath. Then something thing happened and I was motivated into loosing all the excess fat and managed to shed about 30kgs in a span of 6 – 7 months.

The regime was extreme, with a daily jogging schedule of 6 kms and skippings of about 1500 revolutions. It was a time of pure enthusiasm and the need to achieve this goal. The dream was achieved when my trousers started to fall off and my shirts started to hang on me.

Then came the phase of wanting to shape my body into something more appealing than what I was witnessing in the mirror (not that I had a bad body). So I joined a gym to start on the exercise with weights.

The next year was involved into getting myself into shape. The weights were fun and the time in the gym was more of a socializing event that of exercising but along with the exercise came the greatest test of all. The diet!

I was always a fan of good food and believed that good food should always be tasted and appreciated. Never let go of any opportunity of relishing the food at any point. But for this new need of getting the body into shape I had to forgo many occasions where the very smell of delicious meals would get me on a high and I was not able to cherish the food or get my hearts desire satisfied by enjoying the taste of it.

For more than a year, I subjected myself to bland high protein diet. The worst part of it all was that I barely achieved the desired look and my stomach was as large as it ever was. No matter how hard I pushed the stomach was here to stay.

Now, two years on. I have decided that the dream of a perfect body is far from achievable and I am not going to be part of the eat right regime. I love the fats and I love the foods, I am diving into the cholesterol to fight it head on. So its hello butter, ghee, cheese, pork, beef, fries, roasts, oil and all you loving food that I have missed all this while.

If I could loose 30 kgs in the past, I can definitely do it again…..!!!

Home Sweet Home!!!

We live in a country where parents are respected and taken care of after they get old. Serving them for the same reasons they took care of us when we were young and fragile. But time has changed the dictat of the ages. We have to travel to distant places for the need of satisfying a monthly income or an employment. Parents are left with themselves to bear the brunt of the world in their old age, the unaffordable living conditions in our city of residence makes things even worse.

Even worse is the life style we live in the hustling cities trying to make those ends meet at a equilibrium of comfort. Rising rent prices, food costs, travel and to top it all the pressures of work and the constant competition to be on top of the performance chart.

The home we left behind suddenly becomes a distant memory for us and the want to going there is just another need of the hour; a break from the regular routine of work and home. The change of the surroundings and the need to recollect the beauty of what was once the castle which we would have our way with.

The bed that would be our pal, the desk that took most of our weight during the study hours, the hall which was always filled with fights for the channel of choice with your siblings, the kitchen which had the aromas of heaven floating when we would come from school or college. The evening games we would play with our friends in the colony and then the old school which had all the mischief written in the walls and in the memories of our past. I am sure we all at one point of time had a Miss. Sandra or a Miss Lobo who would have taught us in the junior grades.

The beauty of the place which has now been transformed due to the modernization of the country is hidden in the secret vaults of our head and the smile that comes with just a visit to the old place is enough to keep us alive and gives us a reason for what we do with our lives in the city of life….!!!

The Beauty of G-W-L

The first sight of her is in the form of a mother, then if you are lucky you get to see her as your sister and then as your wife. All the three forms are packed with love, care and a fragile touch of comfort. There isn't a soul on this planet who would not have been touched by their presence at some point or the other in their lives. Most of the sons are closer to their mothers than their fathers. But still in our very great and progressing country there are episodes of infanticide and the killing of the GIRL child. The understanding that a girl is not lucky for a family without a boy.

I read about a couple who kept having kids but were so lucky to be blessed with girls and they had 4 of them but the husband and the in-laws were not happy with the girls as they wanted to have a boy in the family. The result was that the fifth time they got lucky. The irony of it is that when they grew old and wanted their son to take care of them, it was the daughters who came to their aid and supported them when they needed the love and comfort the most.

I have been among the few who has been blessed with two sisters, one elder and the other younger to me. Although, I was the middle one, I was pampered by both my sisters and showered with unconditional love and care all the time. I must state that I have been really greedy of it and have tried to reciprocate the same towards them when I could, but I got more than I gave!!

In the last few years, the bachelors states of Punjab and Haryana are facing a major crisis. There is a shortage of woman for them to get married to. I recently saw a documentary on one of the Indian news channels which showcased their plight. Apparently, they are going down south to find brides for themselves in Maharashtra and Kerala. The ironic part is that they are giving dowry to the girls side to get married to them and the same parents who would profess the boy is lucky for them are now treating the daughter in laws with a lot of dignity and respect. This is something that they have now started to realize and have initiated a drive of information to the literate illiterates the importance of the girl child.

World over, the most prosperous nations have been the ones where the Female sex has been given more or equal opportunities as men and the developing and third world nations are the ones that are still in the primitive age of treating them as a second to the Males. Look around you and see it for yourselves. Compare it and you will find the reasons for it is all inter-linked to the support of the people and its benefits. There are exceptions like the gulf states but yet they are progressing faster than most countries as far as equality is in question.

The Bursting Bubble

Its not a difficult situation these days when one is faced with a question, What the hell is happening with my life? Recession has affected a few in India, the job in which we loved to serve has become a living hell as the option of a change is not available to the masses. There is a strangulation of choices and we are no longer into the same comfort of a job that we would like to do than the need of having a regular deposit of an increasing bank balance.

I have been among the few unprivileged persons who had not been lucky with saving his job and there are a few like me out there in the market waiting for the "Right" job to strike a deal with me to start on earning again. But the deal doesn't seem to happen as either I am too experienced for the profile or I do not fit the profile. The best excuse I heard from the person is that since I have not been employed in the past months hence I do not fit the bill. The irony of it is that if no one would want to open their doors then how would I be able to cross into the thresh-hold of a career.

This helped the little cells in my head known as the grey cells to function and helped me start my own business. A SOHO(Small Office Home Office), I started operations from my place of residence and started more of freelancing jobs to help more larger corporations in achieving their targets. Well it seemed it a dream run for a period of 3 months, and then the burst. I had not registered myself as an organisation and with no actual clients coming into a picture of success the dream of business was shattered. The financial meltdown in my own financial capital namely my bank balance was crying for help and there was no one to come to my aid.

However, when there is drought there is bound to be rains soon and with it came the need of a job with a company as a marketing intern and although, it was a base job. It was nevertheless a job, so I was just happy to be in one and no pride or ego remained of being a senior in an organisation. It was time to start blowing the bubble again so that it doesnt burst too soon and learn from the mistakes created in the past. 

Just waiting for the Bubble again!!!!