Showing posts with label mother. Show all posts
Showing posts with label mother. Show all posts

The Spirit of Success


I am simply amazed at the people I see around me everyday. The different facets of life that they come from and the work they do with the dreams which each one of them aspire for. Some of them have dreams for themselves and some dream for their families or loved ones. I happened to come across such an individual in a train journey in the local trains of Mumbai.

I had had a very bad day at work and all I wanted to do was reach home and get some rest so that I could face another day at work. I was in two minds whether to continue the job or to remain with the company to pursue my social career.

I boarded the train at Churchgate station which is the closest railway station from Nariman Point and on my way to Borivali. I was lucky to get the seat that would change the way I looked at life and the hurdles that came along with it. The train was fairly empty on a Saturday afternoon as the weekend had already started for most of the office goers. I took a window seat and sat starting out of the window and thinking of how I hated my job and the life that I was leading. Then they came in and sat right opposite me and were already in the midst of a conversation that I assumed had started sometime earlier.

There were two elderly gentlemen, Mukund and Salil, who were maybe in their late forties and were discussing about their lives and its problems. Mukund was explaining to Salil how his life was filled with problems. I was sitting in my own grief and didn’t want to hear another sob story from anyone to make me feel more disserted than I already was but I listened to their conversation since I had nothing better to do.

Mukund was describing the way he was married to a girl in his early twenties by an arranged marriage and after 5 years of marriage and a son of 2 years she passed away in a freak accident. Apparently, the driver was drunk and slammed into his wife when she was returning home late at night from her mother’s place. He couldn’t do anything to the driver since his father was in the high and mighty of the then ruling political party and had already threatened dire consequences if he had to pursue the case against him.

He was left with a 2 year old to take care of him and raise him on his own. A second marriage was out of the question as no girl wanted to be with a widower and would obviously not shower the same love on the child as his real mother. He took the responsibility of raising his child on his own and making sure he got all that he could give him.

It took a while before both of them had adjusted to the new life ahead of them. He had rarely cooked and cleaned the house or done any house hold chores as his wife had him pampered with just sitting and relaxing while she did the needful. Nor had he spent much time with his son in cleaning his diapers and making his meals. He was always the one who would put him to sleep or play with him while she would do the rest of the chores.


Working as an executive in a Multi-national company only gave him security of his job but really didn’t take care of the payments and the time that he could spend with his child. To add to it, his son had a weak immune system and was as notorious as hell. Mukund would be often called from his school telling him he is sick or injured himself. A single dad was no joke for him to handle and he was terrified. He thought of asking his parents to stay with him so that they could help with the nurturing and care of his son while he was away but that was not possible as they themselves were too old to take care of themselves. It resulted in years of running around from home to work and then from his school to various doctors who were poking into him and giving various medications to cure his son’s weak immune system.

Till the age of 7 he was always falling ill on regular intervals and his medical bills would always be a worry for Mukund. Apparently, all through it he had always kept his calm and never wondered of what the worst could bring. He had almost stopped meeting and greeting friends and all his other worldly pleasures had come to a standstill for that time. He was determined to raise his son and impart the affection of both the parents to him.

The thing that really inspired me was that all through this he and his son shared a bond that rarely a father and son would get to share in a normal family. His son went on to become a chef and was working in a leading star hotel and doing well for himself. Mukund said that his son was getting married in a couple of months and he was looking forward to it. Now he was busy with all the wedding preparations and was relieved that everything worked fine till now.

I was simply amazed on listening to this person who just managed to live an austere life for the love of his son and dedicated all his resources to let him live his dreams. He had none of his own and never in the whole conversation did he mention that he regretted anything except the loss of his wife. Although, he also stressed that because that happened he was drawn so much closer to his son that he may not have appreciated had his wife been alive today.

I did not know him from Adam but his synopsis of his life in the whole train journey made me realize the true meaning of success in life. I could never compare the success he achieved in raising and nurturing his son as a single parent with me who was leading a much more relaxed and convenient lifestyle.

The New Teacher

I have a 1 year young son and he has been teaching me everyday since he was born. I am proud to say that I am the student of my child.

He has the weird but unknown strength to be free of stress, fear, anger and hate. Not saying he does not throw a tantrum but it vanishes as soon as it arrives.

I was first set to the learning from children with my nephews, now 8 and 6 years young. They had the unknowing capacity to teach me to tell the truth and I always believed in speaking the truth from there on.Honesty

Lesson 1:
Smile no matter what
When he was 2-3 months young, he had the most beautiful smile on his face and he would manage to smile only by seeing or feeling his surroundings. He had the routine crying of wanting milk or change of diapers or wanting to sleep. But his other cries would always be followed with a smile, as though he was thanking the person for fulfilling his need. 

Even to date, he has the uncanny ability to smile after crying. He was never thought how to smile but his ability to bring a smile on the people around him, is unprecedented and holy.

This is the first lesson my child thought me

Lesson 2:
Forget the wrongs and learn to smile: 
He will never be angry with anyone for long. Even if they would shout or scream, which scares him the most. He would have the nerve to go to the person and tap them on their hand or legs and smile at them.

His gesture of love and kindness is noticed by all no one would appreciate that we have to do this in our daily lives as well. This is the Second lesson I learnt from him.

Lesson 3:
Love those who matter to you, NO Matter what:
As he started to grow, his naughtiness and pranks have started. From trying to break our mobile phones to putting almost everything in his mouth and hitting almost anything and anyone.

Every time he is scolded or corrected by me or my wife, he bursts into tears and goes to the one who scolded him. He will approach us and give us a hug and look of affection to say he is sorry. On seeing this, we unknowingly go into an apologetic process and make him smile. There on correcting him not to do it. There is no stopping on his ways and he continues to be scolded day in and night out but his way of not walking away from the one who matter to him, his parents has taught me a valuable lesson.

He has some knowledge of who we are and knows that we matter to him the most. No matter what happens, he refuses to let go of us and wants us even in anger and pain.

There are so many more that he keeps teaching us as we wake up each morning to be with him. 

"Child is the father of man", "A Child gives birth to a Mother" are sayings that are true to each and every letter in the sentence. We have been given the opportunity to be his parents and not the vice-versa. 

Mother's Cradle of Love

I often wonder if my mother has been brought from planet Krypton. She is forever doing what is for the best for the family, cooking, cleaning, nurturing, caring, counselling, encouraging and the adjective continue on and on and on.

I cant remember many days when my mother was ill or tired and food was never on the table. Even today at 60+ she continues to show the strength of a 20 year adult.

I cannot understand what the child feels when they try to alienate themselves from their parents or torture the very people who were responsible for his health and education. I am astounded at the events that a parent has to endure at the hand of their own child who they once cradled in their arms and held them lest they fall and hurt themselves.

Recently, I became a proud father to a son and he is a bundle of joy. I see a mother in my wife and she makes me feel proud. My son is attached to her like a ray to the sun. When I see them together I have the happiness and joy that no money can buy. What amazes me further, is that my wife shows the same strength as my mother when it comes to taking care of our son and I just get to thinking what is it in being a mother?

The joy you see in their eyes when they are close to their child is joy in itself. She will cuddle him, raise him, hold him, caress his wounds, smile with him, make him laugh, play with him and all without a single cry or regret of being tired after a long day at work.

I for one cannot bear to clean his diapers when he has done a big job and to that both my wife and my mother come running to the rescue. I just find it absurd that a child feeding on milk only has the ability to convert something white into green and it comes with the aroma that would pull anyone out of their deep slumber. I tried doing it with some oil paints to change the colour to green from white but was not very successful at it. To me that is a work of either god or the enzymes in his stomach are working on overtime.

The other day he was prompt to call our his first word, "Da-da". To which I was surprised, speechless, astounded, shocked, etc! but the look in my wife's face was even more heartening. She was more excited that he started to speak and make sounds from his mouth (Till then the only sounds he made were his gurgles and the occasional farts that would prompt us to open the windows).

My son, is always running to me for playing and having a good time. Dada is the happy person who is always ready to carry him and play with his toys and let him do as he pleases. But if he is hungry, tired or sleepy, then it has always been his mommy's arms to hold. I have tried but with a lot of effort in putting him to sleep or feeding him. But when he comes to my wife he is always hungry and happy to eat. He falls to sleep with a few taps on the back, gently lays his head on her chest and his ticket is booked to dreamland.

I keep seeing mothers in all walks of life going the distance to ensure their child is safe, healthy and strong. To this day I feel comfortable in sharing my thoughts with my mother and have always regarded her as a good friend rather than a person who was responsible for me. I know that in her eyes I will always be the child who would hold her hand and learn to walk. Till this very day, I enjoy sleeping on my mothers lap and enjoy her cradle of love she has for me.