Of War and Peace

The existence of hate and jealousy has been seen since Kane and Able. The greed of what is not ours has always been the motivation of brute action and subsequent reactions of negative emotions.

We are living in the world which is powered forward by the good that is done for society but are held back by the wrong that happens around us. History has been an evidence of the ruthless nature of humans and how we are so happy when we hurt others.

In the early days, war and treachery were a part of life where the mighty were powerful and the weak were simply slaves. The change of structure happened at a slow pace where war was condemned and the weak were given the strength to exist without fear. There was a change in the perception of war.

The 20th Century saw the most gruesome of world wars and the formation of the UN council which is supposedly the mediator and the supporter for the just. Media played a major role in seeking the need for peace and sustenance in the world. The number of artists who have sung of happiness and joy, the movies which have shrieked the life out of us to understand the environment of peace as subjected to that of war and hate.

Little do we know of the daily lives of the people who wake up to the sounds of bombs bursting around them. A child who fears of loosing a limb if he were outside playing football because of the shellings. A girl who was raped by the soldiers meant to protect them. The horrifying tales of parents burying their children because the opposite side mistook them for terrorists.

War exists till today in the very backyard of our homes. We just refuse to acknowledge it. We are too involved with our daily lives to figure out the love that doesnt exist in the minds of those influencers of hate. For when will hate turn to love or when would they be a need for the lost to be found.

History has been an example and a learning for us but we simply refuse to read between the lines. War only causes casualties and more hate. Dialogue and communication with a refusal for brute force or action can amicably resolve long pending issues and make us feel more comfortable.

The happiness of a parent to see their children graduating. The happiness of a child to play in the field without the fear of being bombed. The glory of a girl to play with her tea sets and dolls. The love of a husband towards his wife. 

The beauty of love that could fill the earth is still a long stretch away. There is but a need for each one of us to work in the direction of love and giving. Our choice of No WAR but offer PEACE....

The Spirit of Success

I am simply amazed at the people I see around me everyday. The different facets of life that they come from and the work they do with the dreams which each one of them aspire for. Some of them have dreams for themselves and some dream for their families or loved ones. I happened to come across such an individual in a train journey in the local trains of Mumbai.

I had had a very bad day at work and all I wanted to do was reach home and get some rest so that I could face another day at work. I was in two minds whether to continue the job or to remain with the company to pursue my social career.

I boarded the train at Churchgate station which is the closest railway station from Nariman Point and on my way to Borivali. I was lucky to get the seat that would change the way I looked at life and the hurdles that came along with it. The train was fairly empty on a Saturday afternoon as the weekend had already started for most of the office goers. I took a window seat and sat starting out of the window and thinking of how I hated my job and the life that I was leading. Then they came in and sat right opposite me and were already in the midst of a conversation that I assumed had started sometime earlier.

There were two elderly gentlemen, Mukund and Salil, who were maybe in their late forties and were discussing about their lives and its problems. Mukund was explaining to Salil how his life was filled with problems. I was sitting in my own grief and didn’t want to hear another sob story from anyone to make me feel more disserted than I already was but I listened to their conversation since I had nothing better to do.

Mukund was describing the way he was married to a girl in his early twenties by an arranged marriage and after 5 years of marriage and a son of 2 years she passed away in a freak accident. Apparently, the driver was drunk and slammed into his wife when she was returning home late at night from her mother’s place. He couldn’t do anything to the driver since his father was in the high and mighty of the then ruling political party and had already threatened dire consequences if he had to pursue the case against him.

He was left with a 2 year old to take care of him and raise him on his own. A second marriage was out of the question as no girl wanted to be with a widower and would obviously not shower the same love on the child as his real mother. He took the responsibility of raising his child on his own and making sure he got all that he could give him.

It took a while before both of them had adjusted to the new life ahead of them. He had rarely cooked and cleaned the house or done any house hold chores as his wife had him pampered with just sitting and relaxing while she did the needful. Nor had he spent much time with his son in cleaning his diapers and making his meals. He was always the one who would put him to sleep or play with him while she would do the rest of the chores.

Working as an executive in a Multi-national company only gave him security of his job but really didn’t take care of the payments and the time that he could spend with his child. To add to it, his son had a weak immune system and was as notorious as hell. Mukund would be often called from his school telling him he is sick or injured himself. A single dad was no joke for him to handle and he was terrified. He thought of asking his parents to stay with him so that they could help with the nurturing and care of his son while he was away but that was not possible as they themselves were too old to take care of themselves. It resulted in years of running around from home to work and then from his school to various doctors who were poking into him and giving various medications to cure his son’s weak immune system.

Till the age of 7 he was always falling ill on regular intervals and his medical bills would always be a worry for Mukund. Apparently, all through it he had always kept his calm and never wondered of what the worst could bring. He had almost stopped meeting and greeting friends and all his other worldly pleasures had come to a standstill for that time. He was determined to raise his son and impart the affection of both the parents to him.

The thing that really inspired me was that all through this he and his son shared a bond that rarely a father and son would get to share in a normal family. His son went on to become a chef and was working in a leading star hotel and doing well for himself. Mukund said that his son was getting married in a couple of months and he was looking forward to it. Now he was busy with all the wedding preparations and was relieved that everything worked fine till now.

I was simply amazed on listening to this person who just managed to live an austere life for the love of his son and dedicated all his resources to let him live his dreams. He had none of his own and never in the whole conversation did he mention that he regretted anything except the loss of his wife. Although, he also stressed that because that happened he was drawn so much closer to his son that he may not have appreciated had his wife been alive today.

I did not know him from Adam but his synopsis of his life in the whole train journey made me realize the true meaning of success in life. I could never compare the success he achieved in raising and nurturing his son as a single parent with me who was leading a much more relaxed and convenient lifestyle.

The New Teacher

I have a 1 year young son and he has been teaching me everyday since he was born. I am proud to say that I am the student of my child.

He has the weird but unknown strength to be free of stress, fear, anger and hate. Not saying he does not throw a tantrum but it vanishes as soon as it arrives.

I was first set to the learning from children with my nephews, now 8 and 6 years young. They had the unknowing capacity to teach me to tell the truth and I always believed in speaking the truth from there on.Honesty

Lesson 1:
Smile no matter what: 
When he was 2-3 months young, he had the most beautiful smile on his face and he would manage to smile only by seeing or feeling his surroundings. He had the routine crying of wanting milk or change of diapers or wanting to sleep. But his other cries would always be followed with a smile, as though he was thanking the person for fulfilling his need. 

Even to date, he has the uncanny ability to smile after crying. He was never thought how to smile but his ability to bring a smile on the people around him, is unprecedented and holy.

This is the first lesson my child thought me

Lesson 2:
Forget the wrongs and learn to smile: 
He will never be angry with anyone for long. Even if they would shout or scream, which scares him the most. He would have the nerve to go to the person and tap them on their hand or legs and smile at them.

His gesture of love and kindness is noticed by all no one would appreciate that we have to do this in our daily lives as well. This is the Second lesson I learnt from him.

Lesson 3:
Love those who matter to you, NO Matter what:
As he started to grow, his naughtiness and pranks have started. From trying to break our mobile phones to putting almost everything in his mouth and hitting almost anything and anyone.

Every time he is scolded or corrected by me or my wife, he bursts into tears and goes to the one who scolded him. He will approach us and give us a hug and look of affection to say he is sorry. On seeing this, we unknowingly go into an apologetic process and make him smile. There on correcting him not to do it. There is no stopping on his ways and he continues to be scolded day in and night out but his way of not walking away from the one who matter to him, his parents has taught me a valuable lesson.

He has some knowledge of who we are and knows that we matter to him the most. No matter what happens, he refuses to let go of us and wants us even in anger and pain.

There are so many more that he keeps teaching us as we wake up each morning to be with him. 

"Child is the father of man", "A Child gives birth to a Mother" are sayings that are true to each and every letter in the sentence. We have been given the opportunity to be his parents and not the vice-versa. 

The Beauty of G-W-L

The first sight of her is in the form of a mother, then if you are lucky you get to see her as your sister and then as your wife. All the three forms are packed with love, care and a fragile touch of comfort. There isn't a soul on this planet who would not have been touched by their presence at some point or the other in their lives. Most of the sons are closer to their mothers than their fathers. But still in our very great and progressing country there are episodes of infanticide and the killing of the GIRL child. The understanding that a girl is not lucky for a family without a boy.

I read about a couple who kept having kids but were so lucky to be blessed with girls and they had 4 of them but the husband and the in-laws were not happy with the girls as they wanted to have a boy in the family. The result was that the fifth time they got lucky. The irony of it is that when they grew old and wanted their son to take care of them, it was the daughters who came to their aid and supported them when they needed the love and comfort the most.

I have been among the few who has been blessed with two sisters, one elder and the other younger to me. Although, I was the middle one, I was pampered by both my sisters and showered with unconditional love and care all the time. I must state that I have been really greedy of it and have tried to reciprocate the same towards them when I could, but I got more than I gave!!

In the last few years, the bachelors states of Punjab and Haryana are facing a major crisis. There is a shortage of woman for them to get married to. I recently saw a documentary on one of the Indian news channels which showcased their plight. Apparently, they are going down south to find brides for themselves in Maharashtra and Kerala. The ironic part is that they are giving dowry to the girls side to get married to them and the same parents who would profess the boy is lucky for them are now treating the daughter in laws with a lot of dignity and respect. This is something that they have now started to realize and have initiated a drive of information to the literate illiterates the importance of the girl child.

World over, the most prosperous nations have been the ones where the Female sex has been given more or equal opportunities as men and the developing and third world nations are the ones that are still in the primitive age of treating them as a second to the Males. Look around you and see it for yourselves. Compare it and you will find the reasons for it is all inter-linked to the support of the people and its benefits. There are exceptions like the gulf states but yet they are progressing faster than most countries as far as equality is in question.

The innocent Smile!

I was sitting at a park recently and just whiling my time away. As I sat there looking into the oblivion I noticed a family with two children making a nice place for them to sit at. The children would not have been more than 5 years of age with the younger one just learning how to walk. For ease of reading lets name the elder one John and the younger one Jai. Now John had the excitement of a young puppy let loose and was running around like he was being chased or was chasing some unknown being that didn’t exist and his father kept shouting to be careful but invain. John kept falling and tumbling and trying to kick in the air and jump up and down like a rabbit but there was a some kind of joy in what he was doing that a few others were getting irritated with it but he just continued it. Now seeing all this happen Jai was getting tempted to imitate his brother and be like him. Unfortunately, for him he could barely walk and with a step or two would be kissing the grass with his fall but yet he was determined to be like his brother and would get up and try again. It was such a pleasure to watch these two kids playing by themselves and having the time of their lives with nothing but their feet and imagination to keep them company while they made their way through the park running dancing jumping.

The smile of a child is worth a million lifetimes. Notice when a parent is playing with their child and there is complete happiness in the eyes of the child. The child is not bothered of who is around him and how it is going to reflect on him as a person. All that matter is he/ she is with their parents and there is no one else to matter about. He is so absorbed with his parent that he will jump, somersault and make a complete fool of himself for no one to notice. The funny thing is that he is just being himself and there is no one who can change the way he is thinking for that moment. He is the king of all that he does and the ruler of the happiness that exists. His jokes are for him to laugh at and maybe his parents to smile with him and share that moment of happiness with him.

Try making a child smile and you find out that it is quite easy; all you have to do is gain their trust and make a smile at them to reciprocate it to you. There is nothing scientific or logical at it. Have you ever noticed that when there is a conversation going on and a child is noticing the adults speaking and if they are all in a continuous laughter the child also unknowingly begins to laugh without understanding what is the main reason for the group to laugh or what the joke was about. He just wants to join the laughter. His smile gets people smiling so much more than any standup comedian.

Even if you have not been blessed with a child, to be with a child and bring a heartfelt smile on his face is worth more than a trip to an exotic location or materialistic gains that you can afford. I yearn to be with and play with my nephews whenever I can irrespective of if they feel the same or not. I would love to be a part of their lives and the smiles that they have for all. The times when they come to me and ask for something that I can give them is not only a matter of pride for me or a matter of pride to fulfill their needs. It’s the matter of a smile!