Children of Grace

A son becomes a father, a father becomes a son. Three generations that can match as one when the three are met.

I am privileged to have a father that is of grace and a son who is an angel to my life. The warmth of my father's hand on my head and the hug of my son makes me feel life is worth for all that it gives.

I feel the love of my father to me when I see my son, a new found love has been created for my father in the love towards my son. The care and warmth he showed me as a child, the nurture and love that was a part of my daily life growing up is seen in the beauty that my son is being.

While I thank my father for making me a good human, I thank my son for making me realize how beautiful life is. He can laugh at the most silliest things and forgets the scolding he received in the least amount of time.

There is never a bitterness of the past and never a want of the future. He is always in the present living in the moment. No plans of tomorrow, no thoughts of the yesterday. Just a memory we sometimes recollect to have a smile and just a day to plan to go to the beach or the park or the mall.

The child is born with the grace of god and is the guidance for most of us parents. But most of the time, we choose to ignore the requests of the child in the maturity of our ego not our consciousness.

A child is the most conscious of his/her soul that we adults are ever to be. We choose to follow the way of life without realizing the duties of our soul. The growth of our bodies leads to the decay of our soul and its pain.

If we as adults were to imitate our children, this world would be a better place.

LOVE 7, choose 7 children whom you do not know to share the love with them. An orphanage would be a good place to start with. Be there with them, don't take goods and materials to make them happy. Share a game, a day, a time to make them happy. Let them know that there is a person who cares for them.

Just make a difference in 7 such children's lives and you will see the world will become a much more beautiful place.

Love 7, is the new way of life. Not for the world but for the child in us to be awakened and to make the soul conscious of our body and mind.

Making a difference

I have lived a life worthy of happiness, but yet there is anger, hate, jealousy, bitterness. The life that I can choose to make better is but a place that I can make sad and frustrating.

With the world making a turn for the worse, there is a motivation to be bitter and sad. Making each day ever more depressing than the previous. We have created a shell of resentment which gives us happy.

Making the blame possible because of someone around us or external to our self is so much more a way of life than a reason to change our selves. We are the reflection of our thoughts and our emotions. We make the difference only by being who we want to be.

The question then comes who am I? and what is the reason for such depression around us. The law of attraction states that what we think is what we receive. Then, why are there happy people who are sad? why is there grief in a family who is always doing good for others? what makes the world move with so much of hate and bigotry.

The answer to all these questions is with the person in the mirror. The person who wants to make it happen. You and I are the people who make terror exist, you and I are the cause of all that is happening in the world.

So make the difference. Stop promoting TV where there is hate, help someone who you do not know and make the difference. LOVE 7 spread the love to 7 people who you do not know and let them be a part of your life. Let them know that they are the reason for their smile. Then we have an epidemic of love that will spread to every corner of this earth to make the world a better and greener place.

When we choose to make love a residence of our soul, we choose to make the world a better and greener place, we choose to make a difference in the world we live it. The choice is to be of the individual to help others and in directly help the self by spreading the love to the masses and ensuring the love continues.

May we all start by smiling at the other irrespective of their caste, creed, colour, race, ethnicity or any other reason that we have created to differentiate each of us from the other.

Love 7 the mantra to make 7 people who we do not know to make the difference and that will make the change that we are looking for to happen. 

Thoughts and Deeds

What you think is what you do!

How many times have we thought of something and it has happened differently?and how many times have we thought and it happened significantly similar.

I cannot imagine a world with no hope, no destiny, no thought. God has been our teacher, our motivator, our inspiration in many ways more than ever and yet we fail to understand his/ her teachings. We follow different paths to acknowledge him, some follow religions, some follow disciplines, some just appreciate him as the divine. There are so many names given to him that it would be less to mention.

And yet we are oblivious to the existence of a deeper power. In a recent interaction with a close friend, Christopher, who happens to be a very successful banker, we shared of our good times as children and as we grew up our destinies chose different paths of contentment. He went on to share that he did well because he dedicated his early years to the knowledge of the earth and the science around it. I on the other hand was more inclined towards the godly benefits of mankind and hence did not prosper as much as he did.

Surprisingly, my son, Rick came running to me and asked me to play ball with him in the backyard. He was insistent that I come and play as Christopher's son, Caldrin was not playing it right and he wanted to show him how to play it. We both made our way to the back yard and saw Christopher was catching the bat and staring at us with anger.

I asked him what was the matter and he was pointing fingers at Rick, saying he was not throwing the ball correctly. They were 5 years young, and were having their own interpretation of the game. Christopher and I looked at each other and gave a wryful smile. I made my way to where they were playing and followed the instructions of Rick. He was throwing the ball correctly and Christopher was not able to connect the ball to the bat. Christopher was almost immediate to shout and asked him to look at the ball and hit it. He did not move away from his comfort and share the comfort with Caldrin. Caldrin just looked at the ball and kept trying but was not able to connet it correctly, in disgust he threw the bat and started to walk away by banging his legs. His father only responded with more words of control and discipline.

I stared at him with an open mouth and did not know what to do. Rick came to me and asked why Christopher was shouting at Caldrin, he only wanted to help him. I had to make my stand clear to Christopher, shouting at children do not make them stronger it makes them weaker. I moved to Caldrin and warmed him with some kind words of praise and comfort. I offered to show him how to hit the ball, he was more than glad to try it with me.

I guided him to hold the bat and I held his hand to firm his grip on the bath, Rick went on to throw some balls at us and I asked him to pitch it slowly. We connected the ball to the bat and he was able to hit it well.

He went on to better it as the number of balls repeated itself and Rick was also delighted on his achievement.

Christopher was joyful on seeing the change in his son and patted him when he was done with batting. He retorted how important it was to concentrate on the ball and not to wander his mind. Caldrin just looked and him and looked away.

I had to explain to Chris that money could not buy him the respect of his son or let alone allow some respect towards him. He needed to spend time with his son and relate to his emotions and feelings with kindness. Formal education gives you the knowledge of everything else but of the self. There is a need to have the clear thoughts for it to manifest into better deeds.

His shouting and screaming was not going to help Caldrin in becoming a better human being, he would be just another robot of the worldly pleasures and becomings.

It is what we groom our children to be for a better tomorrow. No need in earning the millions of dollars when you are penniless in emotions.

In getting up after falling, I Trust!

There is something happening in our lives everyday, sometimes we give credit to luck and the other times to destiny. The question that arises in my mind, is whether there was any destiny or any luck involved in the occurences of our lives.

There are instances in our lives when we are regretful of the actions of our past or present and the same actions result in something better happening to us. The act of loosing a friend or a spouse or a job or not doing well in the activity that we were engrossed in for a period of time. The loss of the moment creates a sense of despair in our minds which results in us being depressed and aloof from the world for the given or elongated period of time.

I dont thing this was the way it was meant to be. I have come to realise that the bad events in our life is a wake up call from the Creator/God, instructing us to do what we are here to do. We may be in a wrong profile of work which we have not been created for or we may be in a relationship that was not supposed to exist or we may not be saving a relationship that we were supposed to endure for a life time. The question of why are we here in this world and what is our purpose is made clear with all the bad events in our lives.

So if I am going through a bad phase in life, I think it would be wise to take a step back and instrospect into the reality of my strengths and the colours that need to be put on the painting. Dive deep into the realm of myself and study the creators engineering marvel and that is myself. I was not created to be a looser in any worldly sense. God created me for a better purpose.

For those who are happy in their environment, take time to look for a person who you can put a smile on. PAY IT FORWARD; do the good deed of making the next person happy. Unlike in the movie, do not stop at 3 persons but go forward to make many more lives happy. You never know when the favour will pay it forward, back to you. :)

For those who are in a place of doubt, look within and see the champion that is lying dormant. Awaken the giant and walk into the path of happiness. Remember, not all who are financially rich are happy and not all who are financially poor unhappy. Take your pick from the choice. :)

When Smiling in Bad times?

There is something about death, that sends shivers down our spine. We mourn and show case our sorrows with the passing of a loved one or acquaintance. Even though we are very well aware that we all have to pass away one day and yet we showcase a surprise to the event.

Birth is greeted with a smile but death is turned to a frown. I have asked this question to a number of people and have been given a number of reasonable answers like, “We will miss the person and their company”, “He/she was so young and was such a good child” and “The passing of the person is a mourning process for the family and friends”.

There is a thought that caused a break in me following these same principles and it goes something like this. We are always happy when something good or happy happens to us but we get depressed when things don’t go our way. Even if it is not as large as death by itself even the small things are treated with a negative and saddened thought. The loss of a job, losing a competition, getting robbed, being cheated or even yet being betrayed. These negative events make a dent in our thinking process and get us to a negative emotion which leaves us bare and frustrated to some extent. So why don’t we try to accept all these negative events in our lives with a smile?

My point is when something bad happens to you, celebrate it as it is a start of something new. Let me narrate an incident that happened to me personally and my reactions were all spontaneous and not to my understanding until much later.

In 2009, I was employed with a respectable company and out of the blue I realized I am being asked to leave the company due to downsizing and re-structuring. In the week that I lost my job, my wallet was stolen, Bike confiscated and helmet stolen. I was going through a bad incident  one after another and I did not realize why was it happening? So I stayed at home for over 2 weeks scared to step out of the house and have something else bad happen to me. In those two weeks I did some introspection and came to realize that it was my reaction to each individual event that got me more and more depressed and saddened. Let me recap step by step.

First I lost my job, I always knew the company was downsizing and I was going to be among the ones who are going to be asked to leave but yet I was saddened by it. In the dazed phase, I was travelling by the train in Mumbai and deep in thought of how my career would take shape from here was when my wallet was stolen. And I never realized it until I reached home when I went to change my clothes. A few days later, I was going to meet a friend about a job and in the process, I parked my bike at a no parking zone as I was late and had to meet him on time. I did not get a descent lead from there and on my return from his office, I was told that my bike was seized by the traffic police. I had to go the traffic police station and collect it from there. The next day I went to the mall to buy some items for the house and since I was on my bike, I felt I could leave my helmet on the bike, as no one would bother of stealing it from there. After the shopping, my assumptions were laid to test as my helmet was not to be found and none of the security guards had a clue what happened?

All these events were the cause of the reaction and process that started with me losing my job and being distracted from the rest of the world. Had I had the presence of mind and kept my calm and accepted the inevitable, there would have been no problem existent to make it worse. I would have definitely still lost my job but saved on my wallet being stolen, my bike getting confiscated and helmet stolen. One event caused three other negative events that led to more depression and me locking myself in the house for a period of recovery.

What would be preferable to be in a state of mourning or to pick up the sticks from where it had fallen and move on? Wouldn’t it be better to just turn the page and wait for a brighter day? Why create happiness? Instead, accept what is there in front of us for what it is worth and not get too attached to that event for longer than needed. Just be an observer to our own lives and move on.

Taking it back to my initial argument, why do we mourn during the death of a person? Why can we not celebrate their life for the time that they were there? Remember the good times and wipe away the bad times from our memories. It should be a thankful gesture that they are no longer required to live in a polluted world or work long hours to make a living or bow down to a boss who has no clue of your capabilities. Instead they are now resting for their time spent on this planet and hopefully are in a better place than what we currently are in.

Accept death as a matter of process and the circle of life. Nothing is permanent and nothing is forever. Life is but a matter of time for us on this planet. So while we accept life in its entirety lets think of how to accept death as well with a smile.

The Silent Goodbye

It never did matter what was said or the action done. She lay there in tears waiting for the touch of his hand and the warmth of his hug that was never to be.

It had been 3 years since they were married and had the said the "I Do". The occasion of one of the most remembered among the invited and it was a joyous occasion. Sharon had remembered the day she walked towards her husband to be, Keith and was so happy that they were going to be united in matrimony. Keith, had the smile that would have lit a thousand lights and was as happy as Sharon in having her by his side.

They had been dating for 3 years and the love had mushroomed from friendship of 8 years and then to the closeness of lovers and now fidelity in matrimony. They never thought the day would be a reality but it was to become their day of reckoning.

Keith was a man of love and had a number of flings before he knew that his search for the "one" had been futile and his best friend had always been the one. He was the one who was longing to get married but somehow did not like the girls that came into his life.

Sharon was the domestic, docile girl who was not the outgoing type. She loved to sit at home and cook more than going to restaurants for dinner with friends. She was always more lively when it came to creating things on canvas and on various crafts.

Keith and Sharon were out on a dinner when the he put the proposal during desert and she had a scoop of ice cream in her mouth which prevented her to answer or react. She had the blank face of a child when asked a question that they didnt know the answer to. She had known him for years and had a liking towards him but never professed it.

Her silence had woven a web in Keith's mind and he was not sure if he had jeopardized their friendship in the hope of sealing their relationship of friendship in matrimony. She called him 3 days later and shared her positive feedback to be by his side till death do them apart.

The reply was all that could and would make him a complete man, with love by his side, he felt the world was an oyster for him. They were married in a few months and their love was blooming with everyday that bore a new flower and a new reason for them to fall in love with each other again.

It was a love of the ages that was dawning on them. Until the fated evening....

Sharon was as usual cooking dinner and waiting for Keith to return home from work. It was the weekend and Keith loved the weekends, to enjoy with friends and family. She had prepared his favorite chicken dish and had the beers chilled to start on the evening celebrations. The mobile phone ring changed her life to be; it was her brother who was calling her and asked her where she was.

She felt weird to be asked where she was but replied she was at home and waiting for Keith to arrive. She confirmed before he could say anything that they would be meeting her on the Sunday afternoon at her mother's place for lunch. He replied he was on his way over to her place and would be there shortly.

He reached there with his mother whose eyes were sore from a lot of crying. Sharon was astonished to see her mother in the state and asked what was wrong. Her mother gestured her to sit and asked her brother to tell Sharon what had happened.

Her brother narrated how Keith was on his way home and he met with an accident. It was not his fault from the look of it but a truck driver had lost control of his vehicle and slammed into Keith's car from the back. the impact was so hard that the car was badly damaged. Keith was in the hospital and in the critical care unit.

Sharon trembled on hearing the news and rushed to the hospital with her mother and brother. She saw him there and was in tears at the state he was in. The doctors said he was on a watch for 48 hours and only god could help from here on.

She held him in her arms and stayed by him through his last breath. He didnt make it through the time given and said his goodbye in silence.

His silence was all that took for a goodbye that was otherwise said with a kiss and a hug that would crush her when he lifted her. The goodbye that he said everyday and the hello that was repeated in the same fashion, everyday for three years.

It never did matter what was said or the action done. She lay there in tears waiting for the touch of his hand and the warmth of his hug that was never to be, in the bed.

The Spirit of Success

I am simply amazed at the people I see around me everyday. The different facets of life that they come from and the work they do with the dreams which each one of them aspire for. Some of them have dreams for themselves and some dream for their families or loved ones. I happened to come across such an individual in a train journey in the local trains of Mumbai.

I had had a very bad day at work and all I wanted to do was reach home and get some rest so that I could face another day at work. I was in two minds whether to continue the job or to remain with the company to pursue my social career.

I boarded the train at Churchgate station which is the closest railway station from Nariman Point and on my way to Borivali. I was lucky to get the seat that would change the way I looked at life and the hurdles that came along with it. The train was fairly empty on a Saturday afternoon as the weekend had already started for most of the office goers. I took a window seat and sat starting out of the window and thinking of how I hated my job and the life that I was leading. Then they came in and sat right opposite me and were already in the midst of a conversation that I assumed had started sometime earlier.

There were two elderly gentlemen, Mukund and Salil, who were maybe in their late forties and were discussing about their lives and its problems. Mukund was explaining to Salil how his life was filled with problems. I was sitting in my own grief and didn’t want to hear another sob story from anyone to make me feel more disserted than I already was but I listened to their conversation since I had nothing better to do.

Mukund was describing the way he was married to a girl in his early twenties by an arranged marriage and after 5 years of marriage and a son of 2 years she passed away in a freak accident. Apparently, the driver was drunk and slammed into his wife when she was returning home late at night from her mother’s place. He couldn’t do anything to the driver since his father was in the high and mighty of the then ruling political party and had already threatened dire consequences if he had to pursue the case against him.

He was left with a 2 year old to take care of him and raise him on his own. A second marriage was out of the question as no girl wanted to be with a widower and would obviously not shower the same love on the child as his real mother. He took the responsibility of raising his child on his own and making sure he got all that he could give him.

It took a while before both of them had adjusted to the new life ahead of them. He had rarely cooked and cleaned the house or done any house hold chores as his wife had him pampered with just sitting and relaxing while she did the needful. Nor had he spent much time with his son in cleaning his diapers and making his meals. He was always the one who would put him to sleep or play with him while she would do the rest of the chores.

Working as an executive in a Multi-national company only gave him security of his job but really didn’t take care of the payments and the time that he could spend with his child. To add to it, his son had a weak immune system and was as notorious as hell. Mukund would be often called from his school telling him he is sick or injured himself. A single dad was no joke for him to handle and he was terrified. He thought of asking his parents to stay with him so that they could help with the nurturing and care of his son while he was away but that was not possible as they themselves were too old to take care of themselves. It resulted in years of running around from home to work and then from his school to various doctors who were poking into him and giving various medications to cure his son’s weak immune system.

Till the age of 7 he was always falling ill on regular intervals and his medical bills would always be a worry for Mukund. Apparently, all through it he had always kept his calm and never wondered of what the worst could bring. He had almost stopped meeting and greeting friends and all his other worldly pleasures had come to a standstill for that time. He was determined to raise his son and impart the affection of both the parents to him.

The thing that really inspired me was that all through this he and his son shared a bond that rarely a father and son would get to share in a normal family. His son went on to become a chef and was working in a leading star hotel and doing well for himself. Mukund said that his son was getting married in a couple of months and he was looking forward to it. Now he was busy with all the wedding preparations and was relieved that everything worked fine till now.

I was simply amazed on listening to this person who just managed to live an austere life for the love of his son and dedicated all his resources to let him live his dreams. He had none of his own and never in the whole conversation did he mention that he regretted anything except the loss of his wife. Although, he also stressed that because that happened he was drawn so much closer to his son that he may not have appreciated had his wife been alive today.

I did not know him from Adam but his synopsis of his life in the whole train journey made me realize the true meaning of success in life. I could never compare the success he achieved in raising and nurturing his son as a single parent with me who was leading a much more relaxed and convenient lifestyle.

Humility in India

Humility is never felt until we actually have had the opportunity to introspect our lives for understanding the wrongs and the rights. Success normally, doesnt help realise this feeling and we do tend to get arrogant and self-absorbed with ourselves. On the other hand, there is a deep need of humilty among us. Why?

Well, lets understand the need of humility and how it helps. A humble person would respect the feelings of others and share the emotion on a one to one basis. He/she is always an understanding and caring person. He/She would make an attempt to give back to the community and support their growth thus supporting a chain of success ratios in the region he/she is residing in. The urgent need of humility in our society is when there are caste, creed, gender and religious biase happening around us. The need of humility is needed when we sit in a comfortable restaurant have have a sumptuous meal while on the other side of the road sits a child with just a morself of food to take the day through. The need of humility arises when we sit in properly ventilated class rooms with mordern amenities to help us learn the knowledge of the land while a student in a village has to walk 4 kms to reach his/her school and gets little or no updated knowledge of whats happening in the world today. The need of humility is now and not tommorrow.

While most of us would feel that one who is caring is the one who is always hurt but thats only because we have this need of the other person to be humble as well and more times than one there is always someone on the opposite side who has not had the opportunity of being touched with humilty. He/she is the one who has either tasted success and is a constant winner or is just living in a dream that he/she can do everything on his/her own without anyone's help or assistance and cannot associate with a person who is not as privileged as he/she is.

Take for example a rags to riches person. He/she will definitely associate with the common man and why wouldnt he/she? He/She came from the same community that the common man lived in but he/she doesnt. In the wake of success and materialistic gains he/she forgets the roots that actually gave him/her the will and the desire of achieving the materialistic pleasures of life and in the bargain he/she forgets to give back to the place. Thus leaving his/her past as a reflection of his memory and nothing more! The most plain example are our politicians.

On the other hand, think of a person who was born with all the riches in life and then suddenly one day due to some unforseen calamity looses part or everything in life and is suddenly struck with a failure that might cripple him/her for life. He/She is suddenly faced with the most daring part in hir/her life to start from scratch and start working up all over again. In the journey he/she learns the basics of humilty and when he/she does rise like a phoenix(which most invariably do) there is a very good chance that he/she will be appreciated not only by the people around them but also by themselves. Self gratification of the human soul!!! Some cases in example have not exactly tasted failure but have not forgotten their past either. The infosys story of helping the poor and the needy to grow in contrast to most other corporates in Indian big wigs who share nothing but air with their fellow people.

We compare ourselves to the super powers in the west and have a knack of copying most of their political lyrics and jargons to suit our own fancies. Why cant we try and copy their other ways of bettering their societies? They have made sure that health and education is available to all their children(some exceptions are there in the western states). Our children need the love and grace of most of us and we owe it to the country to grow and be the next super power in the world.

But this can only happen when each of us share the humility of loving and caring for the other person sitting beside you on a train or a bus or in a flight. Respect the other for who they are and not for who you want them to be. This my friends is the true success in life. When you learn to appreciate yourself and others in the humbleness of the being and not in the superiority of the ego!