When Smiling in Bad times?

There is something about death, that sends shivers down our spine. We mourn and show case our sorrows with the passing of a loved one or acquaintance. Even though we are very well aware that we all have to pass away one day and yet we showcase a surprise to the event.

Birth is greeted with a smile but death is turned to a frown. I have asked this question to a number of people and have been given a number of reasonable answers like, “We will miss the person and their company”, “He/she was so young and was such a good child” and “The passing of the person is a mourning process for the family and friends”.

There is a thought that caused a break in me following these same principles and it goes something like this. We are always happy when something good or happy happens to us but we get depressed when things don’t go our way. Even if it is not as large as death by itself even the small things are treated with a negative and saddened thought. The loss of a job, losing a competition, getting robbed, being cheated or even yet being betrayed. These negative events make a dent in our thinking process and get us to a negative emotion which leaves us bare and frustrated to some extent. So why don’t we try to accept all these negative events in our lives with a smile?

My point is when something bad happens to you, celebrate it as it is a start of something new. Let me narrate an incident that happened to me personally and my reactions were all spontaneous and not to my understanding until much later.

In 2009, I was employed with a respectable company and out of the blue I realized I am being asked to leave the company due to downsizing and re-structuring. In the week that I lost my job, my wallet was stolen, Bike confiscated and helmet stolen. I was going through a bad incident  one after another and I did not realize why was it happening? So I stayed at home for over 2 weeks scared to step out of the house and have something else bad happen to me. In those two weeks I did some introspection and came to realize that it was my reaction to each individual event that got me more and more depressed and saddened. Let me recap step by step.

First I lost my job, I always knew the company was downsizing and I was going to be among the ones who are going to be asked to leave but yet I was saddened by it. In the dazed phase, I was travelling by the train in Mumbai and deep in thought of how my career would take shape from here was when my wallet was stolen. And I never realized it until I reached home when I went to change my clothes. A few days later, I was going to meet a friend about a job and in the process, I parked my bike at a no parking zone as I was late and had to meet him on time. I did not get a descent lead from there and on my return from his office, I was told that my bike was seized by the traffic police. I had to go the traffic police station and collect it from there. The next day I went to the mall to buy some items for the house and since I was on my bike, I felt I could leave my helmet on the bike, as no one would bother of stealing it from there. After the shopping, my assumptions were laid to test as my helmet was not to be found and none of the security guards had a clue what happened?

All these events were the cause of the reaction and process that started with me losing my job and being distracted from the rest of the world. Had I had the presence of mind and kept my calm and accepted the inevitable, there would have been no problem existent to make it worse. I would have definitely still lost my job but saved on my wallet being stolen, my bike getting confiscated and helmet stolen. One event caused three other negative events that led to more depression and me locking myself in the house for a period of recovery.

What would be preferable to be in a state of mourning or to pick up the sticks from where it had fallen and move on? Wouldn’t it be better to just turn the page and wait for a brighter day? Why create happiness? Instead, accept what is there in front of us for what it is worth and not get too attached to that event for longer than needed. Just be an observer to our own lives and move on.

Taking it back to my initial argument, why do we mourn during the death of a person? Why can we not celebrate their life for the time that they were there? Remember the good times and wipe away the bad times from our memories. It should be a thankful gesture that they are no longer required to live in a polluted world or work long hours to make a living or bow down to a boss who has no clue of your capabilities. Instead they are now resting for their time spent on this planet and hopefully are in a better place than what we currently are in.

Accept death as a matter of process and the circle of life. Nothing is permanent and nothing is forever. Life is but a matter of time for us on this planet. So while we accept life in its entirety lets think of how to accept death as well with a smile.

A Question of How and Why?

Its very intriguing to know how a "Kundli" can actually predict your future. The astrologer or pundit sits with the charts to the time and date of your birth and describes your past and predicts your future.

I have been attracted to this form of prediction in dire needs. Also, some friends suggested it to me, assuming that I would get a little peace to know that good times are around the corner. I cannot imagine what made me go for it, but I was amazed at the way the astrologer predicted my behaviour, my eating habits, my ailments and problems that I had in the past. I was swept off my feet with the things he spoke about me and that too with just numbers in front of him.

I came out a renewed individual with the strength to say that I will be ok and things will get better. But that only lasted for the time until my mind was set into motion of reasoning with the logic shared.

If this individual was able to see the future and predict it to the dot, would not it be cheating to know what my future would be? And if he did do such a good job at predicting the future, would not everyone be in a good place who believed in the astrologers advice? Why do we have to go through the rough phase if the mantras and rituals performed to keep us safe and happy do not work at the time of delivery? If the future is uncertain in all its beings, would not I be the one to mold it with my actions and not what the "Kundli" reads of me?

There were a ton of questions that were germinating in my mind and the roots of reasoning were digging deeper with more time spent on the topic. I kept pondering on the question of why? Do I want to know the future based on the past events and how can anyone know my future and pen it down. Is that what the almighty wanted us to do or are we cheating in the exam called Life?

The thoughts of confusion and paradox theories came to light, I spoke to many people on the said subject. Some less learned than I assumed to be and some less helpful in the logic shared. The internet was loaded with so much of information on the subject that I was getting more confused than ever. With every other site contradicting each other in the commonality of the logic behind astrology and the reasons for the sadness and deprivation of happiness for a few.

Another thought came to mind, of those who were not believers of the astrology phenomenon or even atheists and of those who would not have the yearning to know their future. How would they be making decisions in their lives? Astrology is common only in Asians and knowing the future is part of the eastern culture. People in the Western world do not believe in the said structure. Why are they having better economies and lives than some of us?

There must be something to the whole theory of life. Why do some people struggle with all their decisions and the subsequent results? Where on the other hand, we know of people who were walking on air and getting anything that they dreamed of with the least effort. The 7 year itch or "Panoti"(Hindi word for bad luck)  never reaches their doorstep but resides in the walls of your house to ensure that you get troubled for the rest of your life.

I cannot understand the future and cannot understand life, but I do know that with the more "Why" that come in my quest of understanding life. The calmer and peaceful I become, not in the knowledge that I can change something but that I will have to keep learning from what life has to offer till the day that I am breathing and alive.

The Malady

I stop and stare

You stop and stare

Only our eyes meet

Its just no greet

For a moment I see

You seem to glee

I look you smile,

I am at a distance a mile

There is no way to break the dare

The world is all just bare

Your eyes are at a smile

If only you were just a while

Its just a thought a wish

a dream, it cant exist

for when I see you again.

This life will be again.

There is a moment and I am in the sky

There she stood and I don’t know why

I was in a freeze if not for the breeze

I kept staring and she was there

I kept staring and watched her go by

She was glimpse a glance

A smile a dance

It was a moment not a while

And she was gone without a dial

When will she be here, When will I hear

Time has no hands, and the days have no nights

For she is the breathe and the chant

That I could never have been mine.