Of money or love

I was always on the cross roads to understand what life is about.

At the start of life, there is a lot of love and attention that we get showered from our parents, siblings, relatives, friends. Love becomes a need for us.

As we grow, the need changes to relationship, and in our adolescents we learn the ways of love with the opposite sex. The heartbreak, the emotional turbulence, the joy, the sadness and all in between.

Then we enter the phase of career and jobs. The act of relationship changes to Association. Love is measured by the amount you earn, relationship are forged not by the person but by the lifestyle we keep.

In India, we work very hard in getting married and we have to maintain social norms by getting married. The association is again not by the values a person has but by the lifestyle we lead. We choose a life partner not by their values but their Association of religion, caste, creed, colour of skin, lifestyle and sometimes we choose to break the line and do something different.

But in the end of the day, we lead our life by the dreams we had as a child. We create the life from a thought to the reality. In all this the question does arise. Was it for love or for money?

Only time will tell when we choose to make a difference in the lives of the person in the mirror and the truth. Life cannot be measured by love but by money. There is no love without money.

Harsh, as it may sound this is the truth of life. Not a single human soul exists without being judged for the amount of bank Balance they have or the property they manage.

It took me 37 years to learn this, I hope it helps you to learn it faster than me.

Why

I walk in the park and see many people. The faces tell me a story and I like to read these stories. 

The stories are regular features of hate, love, depression, sadness, remorse and the other parts of life. In one of my walks, I sat by a bench and was in my own thoughts when an elderly gentleman came to sit next to me. He was in pain and I could read the story on his face. Duty bound and looking to better the world, I ventured to speak with him.

"Good evening, sir! Isnt this a beautiful place to be"

I dont think he wanted to speak and shared a mute reaction to my statement. I also did not venture further as it was his choice to be on his own and I should respect it.

I sat there on my own realising we are the cause of the why!

Why did this happen to me? Why am I suffering? Why can't good things happen to me? Why am I always the loser?

The "why" in our lives is a place that we are not able to remove./We chose to make ourselves the victim rather than the winner. By questioning our situation at that moment, we forget to understand the universe and it's creation. And since we fail to understand the universe, we fail to understand ourselves.

The question we could be asking ourselves is, why was I born? why did I get to breathe life? why did the sun rise from the east and set in the west? why do plants have veins on their leaves? why do I have veins inside my skin?

Let your mind wander to the nature of truth and realisation. There is a lot, you and I can learn from nature and we can have ourselves associated with such beauty that we would realise how nature forms the part of our universe. In finding the answers to these questions, we will be better equipped to find the answers of life.

No, we do not have to become a sage or a sanyasi or wander off into the jungle to find the answers. All we need to do it take the time in the course of lives to notice people around us, notice the environment around us. See how life builds itself around us. We are part of the universe, there is a reason for our birth and our lives. Find the purpose of your life, and keep asking the why till you have a suitable answer to it.

The pursuit of the Why will bring you to the feet of your problems which you can dust and walk along with a smile.

Remember, all you need to do is ask, "Why?"

Do I have a laugh within me?

I love watching comedy shows, I love attending stand-up comedy, I love these romantic/ thriller/ action movies/soaps/ serials.

It's common to like something that come son the TV or attend a movie or play or festival of a genre. What we fail to understand is why we like these genres.

The different genres showcase a part of us that we miss, we want it in our lives but are too scared to follow it through. We may need some action, love, relationship, hate, anguish in different forms but are never able to make it possible.

Do we try to ask ourselves this question? What is i t that I would like to do in my life? Why would I spend time listening to songs that are depressing or movies that make me miserable. Knowing or unknowingly we always put ourselves into harms way by pushing the envelope too far. We are selves are not able to gauge the damage we do when we align ourselves to the ego of our body.

The soul has no attachment to the material side of life hence is always happy. The body has the sense of anger, frustration, depression, happiness, joy, sorrow, etc. These emotions are a result of our body creating a sense of loss in our minds and that doesn't allow us to control our environment. When we loose our control we create an imbalance in our emotions. This leads to that emptiness to be filled with your spike in anger, frustration, depression, etc.

The body is the second signal that will tell you how your emotions hurt you. Most cancer patients have an imbalance of anger within them. Thyroid and lower back patients are ones with submerged resentment. There are many more such examples which I will share in the next readings for your reference.

The point is, do we ask ourselves whether we are leading a soul fulfilment life or a life of mine and yours?

Do we do things that make us happy or give glory to our ego to build its esteem?

Questions we can ask the person in the mirror will give us a standing ovation when the gates of heaven open and we have to walk through.

Why should I be a spiritual being?

A normal question that is asked by the multitudes is, “why should I be spiritual?” or “what is spirituality?”

It is explained with simplicity in a single statement, how would I want to be treated if I were to expect others to treat me in the same way?

Some of us without being aware are already following spirituality and are spiritual in our own nature. We do not have to visit temples, churches, mosques or any other religious place to be related to divine and follow divinity. We are beings blessed with the abundance of knowledge and power to make the best of ourselves. See the world around you that you live in and you will see the blessings that you are cherished with.

There is a lot of abundance in the fact of we as beings and spirituality have a connect. While we cannot see or feel the divine in the flesh, many of us have experienced the works of the divine in our daily lives. We have seen the bliss of nature and the acts of god without even realizing it.

Spirituality is very much different to religion, some have an understanding that spirituality is religion. Fortunately, none of the founders of the said religions ever mention or aim to create the religion that is being propagated and followed today. We are lambs of society. For we live in what we are told to believe and not what is being understood to be the truth. Those who chose to reason and understand the ways of god are the ones who are shunned and pushed away till it is a little too late to appreciate them when they were alive.

In simple, spirituality is the search of the divine within one’s self. The truth of the yin and yang within each of us. We do not have to compare or relate to anyone but our very own self. The true spiritual being is independent of all thoughts, words, actions and deeds. He/She lives in the bliss of making themselves happy without selfishness, greedy, bias, hate or treachery. There is nothing to want more than satisfaction in what they have or what they get.

If you find yourself in the description above, you can believe that you are spiritual and are part of the process where the awakening is happening for you and the people you associate with. Be happy and glorious in your existence and provide the space for the others around you to grow in their bliss and happiness. For then, we all would be spiritual, with or without knowing.

Past Present Future

A reason for our actions and our behaviours. Is this a question that ever pops in our minds?

We are groomed to be the mechanics in pointing fingers at everyone else but ourselves in blaming or sharing the reason for bad experiences in our lives. We ask god for answers, we ask friends or foes to be forgiven for their actions. At any time do we ask ourselves what is the reason or the root of the occurrences in our lives?

A philosophy on mankind prevailes, we are only what we think we are. There is no god, no creator, no life after death. We are just molecules of our own beliefs and there is no other creation.

To the said thought process, I have only one question to ask. How did we evolve from a molecule to a full grown human being? There are very few doctors or wise scientists or even google who have shared any answers that are worth recommending or reasonable.

The questions of the existence of a molecule are also slowly evolving. Where a particle in a molecule is being termed as, "The God Particle". Wonder where did come into a scientific particle?

I am yet to find a answer to what is the root of all sufferings in the world?

There are questions that have answers and problems that have solutions, it is up to the seeker to find the answer and interpret it in the best way possible. Is religion the cause of grief? Is envy the root of crime? Is greed the start of selfishness? Is the need of self financial success the need to make others poor?

So many questions that make our lives tense and create a sense of bewilderment to our existence. Why?

That's all the remains at the end, why? We walk without seeing where we are going. The path that is directed with hate, envy, greed, sloth, anger, lust and pride. If we were only able to relieve ourselves of this path and seek a clear and viable path. The opportunity for grief would not exist and there would not be a day of sadness in the life of the individual.

I have not been able to answer the question yet. Maybe you could help see the light. I have come across a theory of "Karma". To explain it simply, the seeds you sow are the fruits you reap. Just like a plant takes time to grow, the fruits of redemption or curse come at its own time. We are not aware of the happenings but nature and divine happenings are controlling our lives everyday. This is something one has to experience to be a part of the same thinking process.

Being in the karmic cycle, one understands the root of suffering in the world. Why would I be going through a bad phase when all of the world is having a good time? or are they really enjoying?

Karma has a history of your past and current lives, the seeds that you have sown have grown. If the seeds were planted in good soil, the fruits are cherished. If they were planted in bad soil, the fruits are definitely not liked or enjoyed. We then have to undergo a process of cleansing, a way to better the wrongs we have done and improve our life. The unfortunate part here is that religion teaches us to follow rituals and chants. To make ourselves beggars of mercy. But that is not what is to be done.

All we need to do, is to forget the past and create a happy present without any thought of the future. What this means is, to let go of our burdens and sins which we have created for ourselves and make way for a better today. While we create a happier today, our past slowly becomes a better memory adding to the good Karma in our lives.

About forgetting the thought of the future, without thinking about the circumstance, we do good deeds everyday. This leads to good karma added to our kitty to weigh out the bad karma we had sown in our past. The equation then becomes fairly simple, when we weigh our good deeds over our bad deeds, our present and our future suddenly shapes out better than we expect without the past influencing the fruits of our labour.

There was no need to follow rituals or chants, just the humble action in doing good without considering the circumstance of what the outcome will be. Thereby, giving the universe the opportunity to gift us with divine abundance.

Who Am I?

The ceiling seems like a painting of pictures and moving images that keep floating in front of me.

It is not the ceiling which is showing me the images but my mind that is wandering in the garden of its thoughts and bringing back the memories that were created from the depths of my past.

Its been a long wait to receive the answer to my question. Who am I?

I have been asking myself this question for a very long time and can't remember when this urge started. I am a successful professional and am developing my skills as I move along in life. BUT who am I?

I have been given a name, a status in society, a family to look after, a love to cherish and everything that one needs in this materialistic world to exist. But who am I?

There must be a sense of purpose to our existence, to why we were born on this planet. The understanding of our purpose is still undefined. There are different modalities and courses that one can follow but do they really have the answer to my question, who am I?

I cannot really figure it out, is there a destiny to be fulfilled? Is there a path to be found? Is there a purpose at all? Am I supposed to do something? I do not know.

I live the unanswered question and walk without a sense of purpose. The job, the work, the family love and tenderness, the friends and associates, the meetings and greetings, why are we living a life to have nothing at the end; or is there something at the end?

Science can never cheat death, Money can never render comfort, Knowledge is limitless, Understanding is misunderstood. Time is used to measure a person and not the day, Money defines your status in society and not your ability to live, skills are defined by the work you can share with others and not what you can do for your self.

Everything around me speaks of things that are external to myself. There is never a syllabus or a teaching of understanding the self, learning about me, knowing the feelings and emotions that I carry.

No government or legislation, no corporate or business house, ever looks to sell you products or services that can help you grow personally. It is always to look, feel, understand and appreciate the other person.

I still have the question, who am I? What is my purpose? Why am I here?

Do you?

The answer lies in asking ourselves questions about the past that we experienced. The learnings we took from the good and bad experiences we had, did we learn from them or sit brooding over an experience that has no possibility of a change?

The struggle of life is not with the problem but the solution.

We choose to live in the problem for as long as we can and never figure a solution to the problem. Let me cite it with an example of your understanding. We had an experience of someone hurting us emotionally or physically. Did we choose to sit and cry and contemplate ways of returning the hurt and pain without really acting over it?

The truth is we do not have to focus on the revenge but to see what was the reason for the incident to occur with the "I". How could you improve yourself such that there is a better lead into the process the next time it occurs. This will lead you to understand yourself better.

This is the first step to truly understanding what you are good at and what you need to work on to make yourself better and stronger.

The rest unfolds itself as you keep asking and questioning your reactions to each situation.

A Question of How and Why?

Its very intriguing to know how a "Kundli" can actually predict your future. The astrologer or pundit sits with the charts to the time and date of your birth and describes your past and predicts your future.

I have been attracted to this form of prediction in dire needs. Also, some friends suggested it to me, assuming that I would get a little peace to know that good times are around the corner. I cannot imagine what made me go for it, but I was amazed at the way the astrologer predicted my behaviour, my eating habits, my ailments and problems that I had in the past. I was swept off my feet with the things he spoke about me and that too with just numbers in front of him.

I came out a renewed individual with the strength to say that I will be ok and things will get better. But that only lasted for the time until my mind was set into motion of reasoning with the logic shared.

If this individual was able to see the future and predict it to the dot, would not it be cheating to know what my future would be? And if he did do such a good job at predicting the future, would not everyone be in a good place who believed in the astrologers advice? Why do we have to go through the rough phase if the mantras and rituals performed to keep us safe and happy do not work at the time of delivery? If the future is uncertain in all its beings, would not I be the one to mold it with my actions and not what the "Kundli" reads of me?

There were a ton of questions that were germinating in my mind and the roots of reasoning were digging deeper with more time spent on the topic. I kept pondering on the question of why? Do I want to know the future based on the past events and how can anyone know my future and pen it down. Is that what the almighty wanted us to do or are we cheating in the exam called Life?

The thoughts of confusion and paradox theories came to light, I spoke to many people on the said subject. Some less learned than I assumed to be and some less helpful in the logic shared. The internet was loaded with so much of information on the subject that I was getting more confused than ever. With every other site contradicting each other in the commonality of the logic behind astrology and the reasons for the sadness and deprivation of happiness for a few.

Another thought came to mind, of those who were not believers of the astrology phenomenon or even atheists and of those who would not have the yearning to know their future. How would they be making decisions in their lives? Astrology is common only in Asians and knowing the future is part of the eastern culture. People in the Western world do not believe in the said structure. Why are they having better economies and lives than some of us?

There must be something to the whole theory of life. Why do some people struggle with all their decisions and the subsequent results? Where on the other hand, we know of people who were walking on air and getting anything that they dreamed of with the least effort. The 7 year itch or "Panoti"(Hindi word for bad luck)  never reaches their doorstep but resides in the walls of your house to ensure that you get troubled for the rest of your life.

I cannot understand the future and cannot understand life, but I do know that with the more "Why" that come in my quest of understanding life. The calmer and peaceful I become, not in the knowledge that I can change something but that I will have to keep learning from what life has to offer till the day that I am breathing and alive.

The Inconsequent Logic

The door opens and I wait for the step to be, it is not what I expect but I am glad for it is made. I wait to enter the place that I will call my office. My place of learning and enduring.

Since I was a child, I was always intrigued with where my dad would go out every morning and return in the evening. Sometimes, he would let me accompany him for a while at his office to be part of his day. Being an engineer, he always had charts and matrices on his wall and spoke in an engineering lingo that I would listen to with an awe.

I lived through my childhood to wait for the day that I would be part of the brigade that was fueling the world economy into moving ahead. The work force, the employee tag, the Id card, the visiting card. The place that would make me a self accomplished individual.

It started, and I was enjoying every day. I would enter and be there to learn. I would spend more hours than necessary to learn the ways and yearned to be the best.

I ensured, I followed all the logical decisions to ensure a career path that was described in the books and magazines, I read. I was making the greens and I was doing well for myself. 

Life was going good and there were no regrets, I could now stand next to my father and say I am also part of the same work force that you have been with for the majority of your life.

But I was not happy. There was a sense of lose in me. Something was not right, I was in a good place. I had money, friends and time. What more could one ask for? Isn't that what we were taught since we were infants, that we have to be successful in life. That life is defined by the bank balance you have. Well, we may not have been told directly, but it always is part of the scale that measures ones success in life.

I had it all, yet I didnt feel successful. I was living a dream life yet I was sad from inside. Was there a need for a companion in my life to fulfill it? Was it that the job I was into was not fulfilling? Were the friends I had depressing me? I could not put my finger on it.

The missing piece evaded me for years and I kept avoiding it until it was too late. I started to do bad at work, didn't really have a healthy relationship with anyone. I missed out on the laughter and was marooned in my own head, "What is it that is getting me down?" I would constantly ask myself.

It seemed futile to even think about it and I was to give up, until one day I thought of all the "JOBS" that I did, were all logical choices that was made, there was no illogical behaviour or pattern in it. There were a lot of decisions in my life that had logic to it and very few that did not have logic.

I reversed it and started to make illogical decisions, and followed my heart instead of my head. Surprisingly, without my conscious knowledge I was getting back to being the same person I was when I started my career. My life was filled with the same enthusiasm and thrills that existed when I had just crossed the threshold of employment.

It was not the world around me that had changed, it was me that was drifting away from the rules of the world and making my own. I had lost that part of me and it was eating me from the inside.

No more was I sad or missing anything in my life. I followed my gut instinct instead of the education and logical deductions for all my decisions there on.

Today, I am in a much better place and there are opportunities that are unexplored and I can only fathom what would lie ahead.

The illogical heart was my saving grace and my redeemer. I owe my life to it!