When in Time...

There is a time… when you want to rhyme. A day in our lives and we feel the world is a bed of roses the path we take is laden with gems and jewels of all colours, the air we breathe is rich and full. The touch of people is obsolete and the taste of food is exaggerated in our tongues.

I am sure we have had this feeling at some point in our lives. It might have been towards another person, towards an achievement or towards some materialistic pleasure that we were gifted. The point of the matter is the feeling.

Now go to the time when you were completely dejected by a thought, a dream or an event. Can we replicate the same feeling when the world around us crumbles? When the walls of happiness start to fade away and the cracks in the paints are seen? Why do we feel bad and loose hope when the things around us are at its worst?

I have witnessed an elongated event that lasted for about 20 months in my life and the factors that seemed irrelevant in my life started to hit me and hit me hard.

I was subjected to being without employment for a while and in the start it was a welcome break as it had been a while since I had time out for myself and I made the maximum use of my time without a minute spent in wallowing my miseries. The months started to wear on and it had become a year that I was without any employment and the eventuality of getting employment was seeming like a distant reality.

The applications were unanswered or were replied with dejecting responses. Failure had become my bride and the world was not ready to accept me when I was down. The few close friends and well wishers would always say, “Don’t worry, everything will be fine. It will just take some time”. In my mind, I always wondered when will that so called time come for me, it was not that I was not qualified or experienced. I am a post graduate and have a string of certifications attached to my name.

The qualifications at time were the reason why the rejections would happen and sometimes it was a step in to the world beyond. The world of employment! It came to a point when I was dejected and depressed, various thoughts and options entered my mind on how to start earning once again.

I tried to become an entrepreneur but realized getting finances from well wishers or family was a task similar to going to the next galaxy. That bombed! Tried various other options and that too was left with little acceptability, it was a crazy world. All hell had broken loose around me and the feeling was of a looser.

The thoughts of suicide and the reasons of being drowned in alcohol had become eventual. I started to borrow money from the same friends and well wishers who were there to help me. Lies became a way of life. I was deep in debt and no revenue source was visible. I had become an alcoholic. I was in need of being in another world and the real world was disturbing and difficult to deal with. There was a slip in my thinking and there was no other way of living life. I knew I was letting go and had to get myself to get a grip of my life and get a way of living in the real world.

That’s when I remembered the times when life was breeze the good days that were lived and enjoyed. The reasons why the enjoyment had been so much more better than ever. When everyday was lived for the day and the tomorrow was a distance away. The thought of happiness started to creep in me. The memories of yesterday gave me the will to live and fight on. No matter what the world would say and how they would look at it. I had to make a way of seeing the things in my sight and not the worlds.

It took me a week to get out of the so called DEPRESSION and I was back on my feet. With the 19 months gone by, I took it in me that within a month I will get a deserving employment opportunity. And I ventured into the market once again. It took me a week or so to start getting interview calls and within two weeks I was in a soup of choosing between jobs. I was back in the game. The feeling and the attitude changed.

I chose a place where I felt I could be happy and wouldn’t feel like working anymore. I settled in it and now it has been 3 years, I have not worked a day in my employment. I enjoy each day as it comes, the weekends spent in the company of the friends and well-wishers who were there and supported me when I was down and out. The days are beautiful and nights a excellent. Life has its ups and downs but I guarantee that with the right attitude one can make the nights seem like day….