The Spirit of Success


I am simply amazed at the people I see around me everyday. The different facets of life that they come from and the work they do with the dreams which each one of them aspire for. Some of them have dreams for themselves and some dream for their families or loved ones. I happened to come across such an individual in a train journey in the local trains of Mumbai.

I had had a very bad day at work and all I wanted to do was reach home and get some rest so that I could face another day at work. I was in two minds whether to continue the job or to remain with the company to pursue my social career.

I boarded the train at Churchgate station which is the closest railway station from Nariman Point and on my way to Borivali. I was lucky to get the seat that would change the way I looked at life and the hurdles that came along with it. The train was fairly empty on a Saturday afternoon as the weekend had already started for most of the office goers. I took a window seat and sat starting out of the window and thinking of how I hated my job and the life that I was leading. Then they came in and sat right opposite me and were already in the midst of a conversation that I assumed had started sometime earlier.

There were two elderly gentlemen, Mukund and Salil, who were maybe in their late forties and were discussing about their lives and its problems. Mukund was explaining to Salil how his life was filled with problems. I was sitting in my own grief and didn’t want to hear another sob story from anyone to make me feel more disserted than I already was but I listened to their conversation since I had nothing better to do.

Mukund was describing the way he was married to a girl in his early twenties by an arranged marriage and after 5 years of marriage and a son of 2 years she passed away in a freak accident. Apparently, the driver was drunk and slammed into his wife when she was returning home late at night from her mother’s place. He couldn’t do anything to the driver since his father was in the high and mighty of the then ruling political party and had already threatened dire consequences if he had to pursue the case against him.

He was left with a 2 year old to take care of him and raise him on his own. A second marriage was out of the question as no girl wanted to be with a widower and would obviously not shower the same love on the child as his real mother. He took the responsibility of raising his child on his own and making sure he got all that he could give him.

It took a while before both of them had adjusted to the new life ahead of them. He had rarely cooked and cleaned the house or done any house hold chores as his wife had him pampered with just sitting and relaxing while she did the needful. Nor had he spent much time with his son in cleaning his diapers and making his meals. He was always the one who would put him to sleep or play with him while she would do the rest of the chores.


Working as an executive in a Multi-national company only gave him security of his job but really didn’t take care of the payments and the time that he could spend with his child. To add to it, his son had a weak immune system and was as notorious as hell. Mukund would be often called from his school telling him he is sick or injured himself. A single dad was no joke for him to handle and he was terrified. He thought of asking his parents to stay with him so that they could help with the nurturing and care of his son while he was away but that was not possible as they themselves were too old to take care of themselves. It resulted in years of running around from home to work and then from his school to various doctors who were poking into him and giving various medications to cure his son’s weak immune system.

Till the age of 7 he was always falling ill on regular intervals and his medical bills would always be a worry for Mukund. Apparently, all through it he had always kept his calm and never wondered of what the worst could bring. He had almost stopped meeting and greeting friends and all his other worldly pleasures had come to a standstill for that time. He was determined to raise his son and impart the affection of both the parents to him.

The thing that really inspired me was that all through this he and his son shared a bond that rarely a father and son would get to share in a normal family. His son went on to become a chef and was working in a leading star hotel and doing well for himself. Mukund said that his son was getting married in a couple of months and he was looking forward to it. Now he was busy with all the wedding preparations and was relieved that everything worked fine till now.

I was simply amazed on listening to this person who just managed to live an austere life for the love of his son and dedicated all his resources to let him live his dreams. He had none of his own and never in the whole conversation did he mention that he regretted anything except the loss of his wife. Although, he also stressed that because that happened he was drawn so much closer to his son that he may not have appreciated had his wife been alive today.

I did not know him from Adam but his synopsis of his life in the whole train journey made me realize the true meaning of success in life. I could never compare the success he achieved in raising and nurturing his son as a single parent with me who was leading a much more relaxed and convenient lifestyle.

The New Teacher

I have a 1 year young son and he has been teaching me everyday since he was born. I am proud to say that I am the student of my child.

He has the weird but unknown strength to be free of stress, fear, anger and hate. Not saying he does not throw a tantrum but it vanishes as soon as it arrives.

I was first set to the learning from children with my nephews, now 8 and 6 years young. They had the unknowing capacity to teach me to tell the truth and I always believed in speaking the truth from there on.Honesty

Lesson 1:
Smile no matter what
When he was 2-3 months young, he had the most beautiful smile on his face and he would manage to smile only by seeing or feeling his surroundings. He had the routine crying of wanting milk or change of diapers or wanting to sleep. But his other cries would always be followed with a smile, as though he was thanking the person for fulfilling his need. 

Even to date, he has the uncanny ability to smile after crying. He was never thought how to smile but his ability to bring a smile on the people around him, is unprecedented and holy.

This is the first lesson my child thought me

Lesson 2:
Forget the wrongs and learn to smile: 
He will never be angry with anyone for long. Even if they would shout or scream, which scares him the most. He would have the nerve to go to the person and tap them on their hand or legs and smile at them.

His gesture of love and kindness is noticed by all no one would appreciate that we have to do this in our daily lives as well. This is the Second lesson I learnt from him.

Lesson 3:
Love those who matter to you, NO Matter what:
As he started to grow, his naughtiness and pranks have started. From trying to break our mobile phones to putting almost everything in his mouth and hitting almost anything and anyone.

Every time he is scolded or corrected by me or my wife, he bursts into tears and goes to the one who scolded him. He will approach us and give us a hug and look of affection to say he is sorry. On seeing this, we unknowingly go into an apologetic process and make him smile. There on correcting him not to do it. There is no stopping on his ways and he continues to be scolded day in and night out but his way of not walking away from the one who matter to him, his parents has taught me a valuable lesson.

He has some knowledge of who we are and knows that we matter to him the most. No matter what happens, he refuses to let go of us and wants us even in anger and pain.

There are so many more that he keeps teaching us as we wake up each morning to be with him. 

"Child is the father of man", "A Child gives birth to a Mother" are sayings that are true to each and every letter in the sentence. We have been given the opportunity to be his parents and not the vice-versa. 

Rendez-vous

Walking through a mall on a weekend in India is like going to a market for shopping these days. We have to wait for parking if we go later than 6 pm. The crowds are thronging at the food court, the few seats we get to see along the aisles are also occupied but the shops are not crowded with buyers.

It got my wife to think what would people do if there were no malls today. She asked me, "What would you and your friends do when you were in college?". My instant reply was that we would roam in our colony and take long walks to just stand a gate of the building and have a gala time of the things done or make one the scapegoat for the moment.

She was right to point that people have taken malls as the new destination to meet with friends and spend the evening or even a day. There was no charge to enter the mall and the air conditioning was free on a hot/ rainy/ cold day. The new generation has figured a better alternative to being confined to their buildings/ society / colony to spend time with friends.

Not only the young college going generations but also people of all ages are following the same principle, in note, as we went to observe. We saw the elderly in with their children and grandchildren, young couples holding hands or carrying their new borns. Office going crowd was always the most in the malls but in the groups their came with differed as we noticed.

Once we put our finger on this thought, we shared the same with some close friends and their experiences were even more interesting. Seemingly, one of them was called to the food court in a mall for an interview with an HR recruitment agency and yet another was comfortable to meet a person who her mother asked her to meet for marriage and to get to know the person. She felt that a food court in a mall is well crowded and she would feel safe in the midst of the multitude.

This was a new thought for us to think that every weekend, we too would visit a different mall in Mumbai. The distance to travel was enjoyed with some music and conversation of what happened in the week or just normal life conversations or just abusing the administration of the bad roads and upkeep of the city.

The point is we all have evolved in the way we meet and greet our friends and well wishers. The mall style has changed the way we observe the relationship with a friend or with an acquaintance. Think about it!!!