In getting up after falling, I Trust!

There is something happening in our lives everyday, sometimes we give credit to luck and the other times to destiny. The question that arises in my mind, is whether there was any destiny or any luck involved in the occurences of our lives.

There are instances in our lives when we are regretful of the actions of our past or present and the same actions result in something better happening to us. The act of loosing a friend or a spouse or a job or not doing well in the activity that we were engrossed in for a period of time. The loss of the moment creates a sense of despair in our minds which results in us being depressed and aloof from the world for the given or elongated period of time.

I dont thing this was the way it was meant to be. I have come to realise that the bad events in our life is a wake up call from the Creator/God, instructing us to do what we are here to do. We may be in a wrong profile of work which we have not been created for or we may be in a relationship that was not supposed to exist or we may not be saving a relationship that we were supposed to endure for a life time. The question of why are we here in this world and what is our purpose is made clear with all the bad events in our lives.

So if I am going through a bad phase in life, I think it would be wise to take a step back and instrospect into the reality of my strengths and the colours that need to be put on the painting. Dive deep into the realm of myself and study the creators engineering marvel and that is myself. I was not created to be a looser in any worldly sense. God created me for a better purpose.

For those who are happy in their environment, take time to look for a person who you can put a smile on. PAY IT FORWARD; do the good deed of making the next person happy. Unlike in the movie, do not stop at 3 persons but go forward to make many more lives happy. You never know when the favour will pay it forward, back to you. :)

For those who are in a place of doubt, look within and see the champion that is lying dormant. Awaken the giant and walk into the path of happiness. Remember, not all who are financially rich are happy and not all who are financially poor unhappy. Take your pick from the choice. :)

When Smiling in Bad times?

There is something about death, that sends shivers down our spine. We mourn and show case our sorrows with the passing of a loved one or acquaintance. Even though we are very well aware that we all have to pass away one day and yet we showcase a surprise to the event.

Birth is greeted with a smile but death is turned to a frown. I have asked this question to a number of people and have been given a number of reasonable answers like, “We will miss the person and their company”, “He/she was so young and was such a good child” and “The passing of the person is a mourning process for the family and friends”.

There is a thought that caused a break in me following these same principles and it goes something like this. We are always happy when something good or happy happens to us but we get depressed when things don’t go our way. Even if it is not as large as death by itself even the small things are treated with a negative and saddened thought. The loss of a job, losing a competition, getting robbed, being cheated or even yet being betrayed. These negative events make a dent in our thinking process and get us to a negative emotion which leaves us bare and frustrated to some extent. So why don’t we try to accept all these negative events in our lives with a smile?

My point is when something bad happens to you, celebrate it as it is a start of something new. Let me narrate an incident that happened to me personally and my reactions were all spontaneous and not to my understanding until much later.

In 2009, I was employed with a respectable company and out of the blue I realized I am being asked to leave the company due to downsizing and re-structuring. In the week that I lost my job, my wallet was stolen, Bike confiscated and helmet stolen. I was going through a bad incident  one after another and I did not realize why was it happening? So I stayed at home for over 2 weeks scared to step out of the house and have something else bad happen to me. In those two weeks I did some introspection and came to realize that it was my reaction to each individual event that got me more and more depressed and saddened. Let me recap step by step.

First I lost my job, I always knew the company was downsizing and I was going to be among the ones who are going to be asked to leave but yet I was saddened by it. In the dazed phase, I was travelling by the train in Mumbai and deep in thought of how my career would take shape from here was when my wallet was stolen. And I never realized it until I reached home when I went to change my clothes. A few days later, I was going to meet a friend about a job and in the process, I parked my bike at a no parking zone as I was late and had to meet him on time. I did not get a descent lead from there and on my return from his office, I was told that my bike was seized by the traffic police. I had to go the traffic police station and collect it from there. The next day I went to the mall to buy some items for the house and since I was on my bike, I felt I could leave my helmet on the bike, as no one would bother of stealing it from there. After the shopping, my assumptions were laid to test as my helmet was not to be found and none of the security guards had a clue what happened?

All these events were the cause of the reaction and process that started with me losing my job and being distracted from the rest of the world. Had I had the presence of mind and kept my calm and accepted the inevitable, there would have been no problem existent to make it worse. I would have definitely still lost my job but saved on my wallet being stolen, my bike getting confiscated and helmet stolen. One event caused three other negative events that led to more depression and me locking myself in the house for a period of recovery.

What would be preferable to be in a state of mourning or to pick up the sticks from where it had fallen and move on? Wouldn’t it be better to just turn the page and wait for a brighter day? Why create happiness? Instead, accept what is there in front of us for what it is worth and not get too attached to that event for longer than needed. Just be an observer to our own lives and move on.

Taking it back to my initial argument, why do we mourn during the death of a person? Why can we not celebrate their life for the time that they were there? Remember the good times and wipe away the bad times from our memories. It should be a thankful gesture that they are no longer required to live in a polluted world or work long hours to make a living or bow down to a boss who has no clue of your capabilities. Instead they are now resting for their time spent on this planet and hopefully are in a better place than what we currently are in.

Accept death as a matter of process and the circle of life. Nothing is permanent and nothing is forever. Life is but a matter of time for us on this planet. So while we accept life in its entirety lets think of how to accept death as well with a smile.

The Silent Goodbye

It never did matter what was said or the action done. She lay there in tears waiting for the touch of his hand and the warmth of his hug that was never to be.

It had been 3 years since they were married and had the said the "I Do". The occasion of one of the most remembered among the invited and it was a joyous occasion. Sharon had remembered the day she walked towards her husband to be, Keith and was so happy that they were going to be united in matrimony. Keith, had the smile that would have lit a thousand lights and was as happy as Sharon in having her by his side.

They had been dating for 3 years and the love had mushroomed from friendship of 8 years and then to the closeness of lovers and now fidelity in matrimony. They never thought the day would be a reality but it was to become their day of reckoning.

Keith was a man of love and had a number of flings before he knew that his search for the "one" had been futile and his best friend had always been the one. He was the one who was longing to get married but somehow did not like the girls that came into his life.

Sharon was the domestic, docile girl who was not the outgoing type. She loved to sit at home and cook more than going to restaurants for dinner with friends. She was always more lively when it came to creating things on canvas and on various crafts.

Keith and Sharon were out on a dinner when the he put the proposal during desert and she had a scoop of ice cream in her mouth which prevented her to answer or react. She had the blank face of a child when asked a question that they didnt know the answer to. She had known him for years and had a liking towards him but never professed it.

Her silence had woven a web in Keith's mind and he was not sure if he had jeopardized their friendship in the hope of sealing their relationship of friendship in matrimony. She called him 3 days later and shared her positive feedback to be by his side till death do them apart.

The reply was all that could and would make him a complete man, with love by his side, he felt the world was an oyster for him. They were married in a few months and their love was blooming with everyday that bore a new flower and a new reason for them to fall in love with each other again.

It was a love of the ages that was dawning on them. Until the fated evening....

Sharon was as usual cooking dinner and waiting for Keith to return home from work. It was the weekend and Keith loved the weekends, to enjoy with friends and family. She had prepared his favorite chicken dish and had the beers chilled to start on the evening celebrations. The mobile phone ring changed her life to be; it was her brother who was calling her and asked her where she was.

She felt weird to be asked where she was but replied she was at home and waiting for Keith to arrive. She confirmed before he could say anything that they would be meeting her on the Sunday afternoon at her mother's place for lunch. He replied he was on his way over to her place and would be there shortly.

He reached there with his mother whose eyes were sore from a lot of crying. Sharon was astonished to see her mother in the state and asked what was wrong. Her mother gestured her to sit and asked her brother to tell Sharon what had happened.

Her brother narrated how Keith was on his way home and he met with an accident. It was not his fault from the look of it but a truck driver had lost control of his vehicle and slammed into Keith's car from the back. the impact was so hard that the car was badly damaged. Keith was in the hospital and in the critical care unit.

Sharon trembled on hearing the news and rushed to the hospital with her mother and brother. She saw him there and was in tears at the state he was in. The doctors said he was on a watch for 48 hours and only god could help from here on.

She held him in her arms and stayed by him through his last breath. He didnt make it through the time given and said his goodbye in silence.

His silence was all that took for a goodbye that was otherwise said with a kiss and a hug that would crush her when he lifted her. The goodbye that he said everyday and the hello that was repeated in the same fashion, everyday for three years.

It never did matter what was said or the action done. She lay there in tears waiting for the touch of his hand and the warmth of his hug that was never to be, in the bed.

The Spirit of Success

I am simply amazed at the people I see around me everyday. The different facets of life that they come from and the work they do with the dreams which each one of them aspire for. Some of them have dreams for themselves and some dream for their families or loved ones. I happened to come across such an individual in a train journey in the local trains of Mumbai.

I had had a very bad day at work and all I wanted to do was reach home and get some rest so that I could face another day at work. I was in two minds whether to continue the job or to remain with the company to pursue my social career.

I boarded the train at Churchgate station which is the closest railway station from Nariman Point and on my way to Borivali. I was lucky to get the seat that would change the way I looked at life and the hurdles that came along with it. The train was fairly empty on a Saturday afternoon as the weekend had already started for most of the office goers. I took a window seat and sat starting out of the window and thinking of how I hated my job and the life that I was leading. Then they came in and sat right opposite me and were already in the midst of a conversation that I assumed had started sometime earlier.

There were two elderly gentlemen, Mukund and Salil, who were maybe in their late forties and were discussing about their lives and its problems. Mukund was explaining to Salil how his life was filled with problems. I was sitting in my own grief and didn’t want to hear another sob story from anyone to make me feel more disserted than I already was but I listened to their conversation since I had nothing better to do.

Mukund was describing the way he was married to a girl in his early twenties by an arranged marriage and after 5 years of marriage and a son of 2 years she passed away in a freak accident. Apparently, the driver was drunk and slammed into his wife when she was returning home late at night from her mother’s place. He couldn’t do anything to the driver since his father was in the high and mighty of the then ruling political party and had already threatened dire consequences if he had to pursue the case against him.

He was left with a 2 year old to take care of him and raise him on his own. A second marriage was out of the question as no girl wanted to be with a widower and would obviously not shower the same love on the child as his real mother. He took the responsibility of raising his child on his own and making sure he got all that he could give him.

It took a while before both of them had adjusted to the new life ahead of them. He had rarely cooked and cleaned the house or done any house hold chores as his wife had him pampered with just sitting and relaxing while she did the needful. Nor had he spent much time with his son in cleaning his diapers and making his meals. He was always the one who would put him to sleep or play with him while she would do the rest of the chores.

Working as an executive in a Multi-national company only gave him security of his job but really didn’t take care of the payments and the time that he could spend with his child. To add to it, his son had a weak immune system and was as notorious as hell. Mukund would be often called from his school telling him he is sick or injured himself. A single dad was no joke for him to handle and he was terrified. He thought of asking his parents to stay with him so that they could help with the nurturing and care of his son while he was away but that was not possible as they themselves were too old to take care of themselves. It resulted in years of running around from home to work and then from his school to various doctors who were poking into him and giving various medications to cure his son’s weak immune system.

Till the age of 7 he was always falling ill on regular intervals and his medical bills would always be a worry for Mukund. Apparently, all through it he had always kept his calm and never wondered of what the worst could bring. He had almost stopped meeting and greeting friends and all his other worldly pleasures had come to a standstill for that time. He was determined to raise his son and impart the affection of both the parents to him.

The thing that really inspired me was that all through this he and his son shared a bond that rarely a father and son would get to share in a normal family. His son went on to become a chef and was working in a leading star hotel and doing well for himself. Mukund said that his son was getting married in a couple of months and he was looking forward to it. Now he was busy with all the wedding preparations and was relieved that everything worked fine till now.

I was simply amazed on listening to this person who just managed to live an austere life for the love of his son and dedicated all his resources to let him live his dreams. He had none of his own and never in the whole conversation did he mention that he regretted anything except the loss of his wife. Although, he also stressed that because that happened he was drawn so much closer to his son that he may not have appreciated had his wife been alive today.

I did not know him from Adam but his synopsis of his life in the whole train journey made me realize the true meaning of success in life. I could never compare the success he achieved in raising and nurturing his son as a single parent with me who was leading a much more relaxed and convenient lifestyle.