Relationships - A Need or Greed!

We are human beings born with the need of being closely associated with another being. It could be our parents, our siblings, friends or associates. But we have to be associated with someone. We have studied, played, worked,  laughed and cried with the people we are associated with and feel close to.

Over the last few decades, the machine has taken over this need and is distancing us from the people we chose to make us feel happy or smile. Our talks are now chats, our meetings are virtual, our relationships are online and our smiles are now smileys. This void is giving us the feeling of loneliness, even though we have a 1000 friends on facebook we are still yearning for time to smile with a single person. We may be sharing a lot of smiles, but we are yearning to smile in the real world.

When the distance is created we are creating a void within our self and this leads to more complicated lifestyles. Our mental disorder leads to physical ailments and there on to extreme behaviours. The blue whale game is the recent example. While the game is only the tip of the iceberg, there is a bigger problem in hand. Why are we attracted to the online web and get entangled in it where we stop to miss the real world and live an empty life.

How do we cure this problem?

We need to understand the base of a relationship and why we want to participate in the process. It can be with your parents, siblings, a lover or spouse, friends or colleagues in your work place. The disturbance in a relationship is caused when there is less respect for the individual and there is a drain of the love that is being received.

A relationship is on the basis of respect and sharing of love, not of asking for love. Be it with a relative or with an unknown. The more we learn to give in terms of time, attention, respect and trust, the stronger the relationship builds and that is the key to it.

Sometimes, our greed of selfishness is what causes the relationship to break down and make dents which lead to a broken relationship.

How do we understand where to draw the line?

TART strategy - Time Attention Respect Trust

Time - When you are with a person face to face, dedicate the time to the person for all that the said moment is worth.

Attention - Give the person all the attention that you can allow the person to make them feel comfortable in your presence

Respect - Respect them for their views, not necessary that you have to agree to it. But it is their thinking and we should choose to agree that we can have opposing views to a single point.

Trust - Trust your instincts to make the right decision when you are here and allow you to trust the person with the resources available to you and give them an opportunity to trust you too.

Not a process that can be incorporated in a day but we are creating the path for us to develop it better.

Connect with us to attend our 1 day workshop on building relationships to make this possible for you to achieve happiness in your relationship (Friendship, Marriage, Business, Parent-Child, Personal)

Life is for a smile, let's get some in our relationship too

In Blind Faith

We have been brought up with the understanding of a good and evil phenomenon. That there is a God and a Devil that exist and a Heaven and Hell. These were then branded into different religions of Christianity, Buddhism, Hinduism, Islam, Sikhism, Jainism, etc.

Over the years, we have got ourselves so entangled with religion that some of us wanted out of it and started sharing a common platform for all to exist. Slavery was abolished, caste and creed differentiation was stopped. There was a silver lining in the dark cloud.

Today, we have a new blind faith that is being created. The faith of the masses on a time bomb that we call Politics. The leaders of nations have understood that the masses follow what we feed them and allow them to believe anything they say. They can promise you the moon and the person will believe it. Education has nothing to do with the need to be associated with one or the other type of group we just need to have an association for the friends and family to make us feel higher than the rest.

Having lived in India for the last 2 decades, I have seen the rise of a small person from a nothing to being the Prime Minister of India. His growth is noteworthy and better yet, his marketing skills are worthy of praise and recognition. The most noteworthy part of his achievements is the ability to control media and the "Top of The Mind" advertising is the best yet.

The next part, this is something we all need to take heed of, is the "Bhakts". They cannot hear anything negative or derrogatory of their leader. They have such "Blind Faith" in his actions that no matter what happens, right or wrong, they will not hear a word that would be against their thinking. 

This isn't an isolated incident in this country, we have many stars and super stars who have the same or better fan following, to mention a few Rajnikanth, Sachin Tendulkar, Amitabh Bachchan and many more regional stars who have a cult based following.

The difference here is that the normal superstars and stars, do not try to manipulate their fans for more than their ticket sales or promotions of their work in a movie. We have a new super star who for the sake of a few is ravaging a country of more than a billion. And he is being praised for it.

History is witness to another leader who had a similar following and it took more than half a century for the country to get back to it's feet. But yet, they bear the brunt of having a bloody history and to live with the tarnish a single leader caused to their country and image of the country.

The need to be associated with a Brand is good, but how can you smell only one rose and think the garden would have many roses? Even a bouquet does not have all the roses perfect. The ruling party has many members and 98% of all political parties in India are based on the need to have power and money. The need to help the common man is maybe secondary or just a tertiary need of the party. How can the common man get the benefit from such leadership?

The recent demonetization drive has given us to believe that there is a leadership for the rich and nothing for the poor. The Robinhood has turned to robbing the hood, for the benefit of the few rich lads who run the major political parties with their commissions, the government had officially taken money from the middle and lower classes to fund the banks to wipe out the bad debts created by such industrialists. Major defaulters have welcome a move that will only benefit their need to wipe the slate clean and have the poor person die while standing in a queue to get the money that is rightfully his.

On this, the Bhakts are for the leader because they still believe that the hope of a brand new day is around the corner and things are only going to get better from here. There is no need to be in any rush to see people die or business close or people loosing their jobs due to the slow down in the economy. Better yet, money is flowing from the RBI and other venues to the ruling parties accounts in black or white. Money has been caught without prejudice in the West Bengal and Gujarat of the said party workers cars and houses.

What do we do when we have a leap of blind faith amongst the learned class? They either become followers who made Hitler Great or they become Terrorists who make India poor. Physically and Mentally!

Why

I walk in the park and see many people. The faces tell me a story and I like to read these stories. 

The stories are regular features of hate, love, depression, sadness, remorse and the other parts of life. In one of my walks, I sat by a bench and was in my own thoughts when an elderly gentleman came to sit next to me. He was in pain and I could read the story on his face. Duty bound and looking to better the world, I ventured to speak with him.

"Good evening, sir! Isnt this a beautiful place to be"

I dont think he wanted to speak and shared a mute reaction to my statement. I also did not venture further as it was his choice to be on his own and I should respect it.

I sat there on my own realising we are the cause of the why!

Why did this happen to me? Why am I suffering? Why can't good things happen to me? Why am I always the loser?

The "why" in our lives is a place that we are not able to remove./We chose to make ourselves the victim rather than the winner. By questioning our situation at that moment, we forget to understand the universe and it's creation. And since we fail to understand the universe, we fail to understand ourselves.

The question we could be asking ourselves is, why was I born? why did I get to breathe life? why did the sun rise from the east and set in the west? why do plants have veins on their leaves? why do I have veins inside my skin?

Let your mind wander to the nature of truth and realisation. There is a lot, you and I can learn from nature and we can have ourselves associated with such beauty that we would realise how nature forms the part of our universe. In finding the answers to these questions, we will be better equipped to find the answers of life.

No, we do not have to become a sage or a sanyasi or wander off into the jungle to find the answers. All we need to do it take the time in the course of lives to notice people around us, notice the environment around us. See how life builds itself around us. We are part of the universe, there is a reason for our birth and our lives. Find the purpose of your life, and keep asking the why till you have a suitable answer to it.

The pursuit of the Why will bring you to the feet of your problems which you can dust and walk along with a smile.

Remember, all you need to do is ask, "Why?"