A Question of How and Why?

Its very intriguing to know how a "Kundli" can actually predict your future. The astrologer or pundit sits with the charts to the time and date of your birth and describes your past and predicts your future.

I have been attracted to this form of prediction in dire needs. Also, some friends suggested it to me, assuming that I would get a little peace to know that good times are around the corner. I cannot imagine what made me go for it, but I was amazed at the way the astrologer predicted my behaviour, my eating habits, my ailments and problems that I had in the past. I was swept off my feet with the things he spoke about me and that too with just numbers in front of him.

I came out a renewed individual with the strength to say that I will be ok and things will get better. But that only lasted for the time until my mind was set into motion of reasoning with the logic shared.

If this individual was able to see the future and predict it to the dot, would not it be cheating to know what my future would be? And if he did do such a good job at predicting the future, would not everyone be in a good place who believed in the astrologers advice? Why do we have to go through the rough phase if the mantras and rituals performed to keep us safe and happy do not work at the time of delivery? If the future is uncertain in all its beings, would not I be the one to mold it with my actions and not what the "Kundli" reads of me?

There were a ton of questions that were germinating in my mind and the roots of reasoning were digging deeper with more time spent on the topic. I kept pondering on the question of why? Do I want to know the future based on the past events and how can anyone know my future and pen it down. Is that what the almighty wanted us to do or are we cheating in the exam called Life?

The thoughts of confusion and paradox theories came to light, I spoke to many people on the said subject. Some less learned than I assumed to be and some less helpful in the logic shared. The internet was loaded with so much of information on the subject that I was getting more confused than ever. With every other site contradicting each other in the commonality of the logic behind astrology and the reasons for the sadness and deprivation of happiness for a few.

Another thought came to mind, of those who were not believers of the astrology phenomenon or even atheists and of those who would not have the yearning to know their future. How would they be making decisions in their lives? Astrology is common only in Asians and knowing the future is part of the eastern culture. People in the Western world do not believe in the said structure. Why are they having better economies and lives than some of us?

There must be something to the whole theory of life. Why do some people struggle with all their decisions and the subsequent results? Where on the other hand, we know of people who were walking on air and getting anything that they dreamed of with the least effort. The 7 year itch or "Panoti"(Hindi word for bad luck)  never reaches their doorstep but resides in the walls of your house to ensure that you get troubled for the rest of your life.

I cannot understand the future and cannot understand life, but I do know that with the more "Why" that come in my quest of understanding life. The calmer and peaceful I become, not in the knowledge that I can change something but that I will have to keep learning from what life has to offer till the day that I am breathing and alive.

The Inconsequent Logic

The door opens and I wait for the step to be, it is not what I expect but I am glad for it is made. I wait to enter the place that I will call my office. My place of learning and enduring.

Since I was a child, I was always intrigued with where my dad would go out every morning and return in the evening. Sometimes, he would let me accompany him for a while at his office to be part of his day. Being an engineer, he always had charts and matrices on his wall and spoke in an engineering lingo that I would listen to with an awe.

I lived through my childhood to wait for the day that I would be part of the brigade that was fueling the world economy into moving ahead. The work force, the employee tag, the Id card, the visiting card. The place that would make me a self accomplished individual.

It started, and I was enjoying every day. I would enter and be there to learn. I would spend more hours than necessary to learn the ways and yearned to be the best.

I ensured, I followed all the logical decisions to ensure a career path that was described in the books and magazines, I read. I was making the greens and I was doing well for myself. 

Life was going good and there were no regrets, I could now stand next to my father and say I am also part of the same work force that you have been with for the majority of your life.

But I was not happy. There was a sense of lose in me. Something was not right, I was in a good place. I had money, friends and time. What more could one ask for? Isn't that what we were taught since we were infants, that we have to be successful in life. That life is defined by the bank balance you have. Well, we may not have been told directly, but it always is part of the scale that measures ones success in life.

I had it all, yet I didnt feel successful. I was living a dream life yet I was sad from inside. Was there a need for a companion in my life to fulfill it? Was it that the job I was into was not fulfilling? Were the friends I had depressing me? I could not put my finger on it.

The missing piece evaded me for years and I kept avoiding it until it was too late. I started to do bad at work, didn't really have a healthy relationship with anyone. I missed out on the laughter and was marooned in my own head, "What is it that is getting me down?" I would constantly ask myself.

It seemed futile to even think about it and I was to give up, until one day I thought of all the "JOBS" that I did, were all logical choices that was made, there was no illogical behaviour or pattern in it. There were a lot of decisions in my life that had logic to it and very few that did not have logic.

I reversed it and started to make illogical decisions, and followed my heart instead of my head. Surprisingly, without my conscious knowledge I was getting back to being the same person I was when I started my career. My life was filled with the same enthusiasm and thrills that existed when I had just crossed the threshold of employment.

It was not the world around me that had changed, it was me that was drifting away from the rules of the world and making my own. I had lost that part of me and it was eating me from the inside.

No more was I sad or missing anything in my life. I followed my gut instinct instead of the education and logical deductions for all my decisions there on.

Today, I am in a much better place and there are opportunities that are unexplored and I can only fathom what would lie ahead.

The illogical heart was my saving grace and my redeemer. I owe my life to it!

Silent Sound of words

"He just cannot keep his mouth shut!" "Why does she not hold her tongue, she does see who she is talking to!" "That person is so irritating that I can snap their neck"

So many times in our lives we are hurt by what or how people speak to us. We are hurt by the words that pierce our ears and make us vulnerable to the emotion of dejection and sadness. Our hearts are torn into pieces, our confidence lost. For some this is followed with tears of sorrow, for some anger and pain, and some react in a violent manner.

There is no excuse for the person who does speak the hurtful words and make us feel the way we do. but why do we let ourselves get hurt by this person. He/she may be a close friend, a relative, a co-worker, a well wisher, boss, or any one who you are speaking to. WHy do we let the words come into our stream of emotion and play with it?

There are few things that we can control and the way another person is speaking or acting is definitely not in our control. So why are we troubling our senses on the words or that are uttered by the person? There is no power in the universe that can enable us to make them stop or avoid such beings from existing. 

Fret not, for a solution does exist. We are the solutions for this problem. while we cannot control the way the others act or react to us, we have the power to shield ourselves or get immune to such words of derogation. We can make a choice, a choice to be in a place of happiness even though the given situation is not in our favour.

In a famous bollywood movie, Munna Bhai. He asks people to start a revolution called Gandhigiri, do not bother of what the other person is doing but smile and retaliate with warmth and kindness. Its easy said than done isnt it.

I have been reading a few religious books recently and am finding that forgiving the offender is much more powerful than wasting my energy on the ones who have done wrong against me. Its a burden that you let go. The day I said, "I forgive you!" I was truly and sincerely happy. You can do it, by sending flowers to the person/s or maybe a thank you card or email. Anyway possible make the other person know that there is a hope for humanity to better itself.

We are into pointing fingers at the rest of the world but we are not willing to make the transition ourselves. Why wait on the world to change? Lets rise and make the world around us a better place. 

The next time you hear those awful words that have just pierced your heart or made you feel miserable. Just say, "Thank you". Remember, this person is making you feel. He/she is making you realise that you are just human and are possibly gullible to the way of the worlds. It is ok to be Human, else you would be an insect or an animal or just a fish in the sea. You have the emotion to shed a tear, to smile, to wake up and appreciate the life you have. Which other animal on this planet is so fortunate to do so?

Just like the way we celebrate our happiness, we should take it in us to celebrate our sadness and pains as well. Lets rejoice in the silence and be the happiness that we dream of being and let not the sound of words bring out the negativity in our lives. 

:) :D 

Tongues of Thorns and Petals

"Why are you getting disturbed with what I have said? It was nothing to get angry about." I didnt realise why would she get angry with me for something as trivial as a statement, " The rice was not cooked properly, maybe next time I should make it".

Have you ever thought of why the person would get disturbed by the words that are being spoken by you. There are times when we really cant understand why people are so sensitive to the words used in our statements.

Last year, we had a case in Mumbai where a political leader passed away due to old age and a couple of girls made a very daunting remark against him on facebook. It was surprising to learn that they were imprisoned and made to endure mental anguish over the comment. The followers of the political leader took it into their stance to ensure the family and relatives of the girls were subject to public humiliation.

Luckily for them, there were high and mighty supporters who supported their freedom of speech and had the case against them revoked. The said party also had the ire of the public when the whole nation was in uproar against the said act.

I am not condoning what the girls did or praising the followers of going the right path. It was a simple statement that should not have had anything more than request to delete the comment. But think from the point of the people who read the comment and made their actions follow. If the comment was not placed in the broad forum, maybe the girls would not have been subjected to the harrowing experience for themselves and their families. Especially in an emotionally charged society as ours.

An example of this isolated case maybe just the tip of the ice berg. There are many such instances that happen in our daily lives that dont lead up to such drastic events that have a dire result. We need to look at our daily lives and the conversations that take place in our homes, offices, malls, shops, road, etc.

More than the listener, I think the person who is saying the words should be careful and not use words that may hurt the sentiment of the other. Not because of what the other person may think, but just as a matter of respect for the individual. 

The other reason for one to be careful with their words is because once it is said, it can never be taken back. The wrong words can and will be held against the person who is saying it. Examples as mentioned above and  our very own politicians who say something in public but later retract their statement. Their excuse is that the media reported it wrongly and was misinterpreted. While their example is not to be followed it is an example to learn from.

A man/woman who says one thing and does another is a person of low value and principles. Such people loose faith and trust very often in their surroundings. In contrary, one who stands by what he/she says and follows it in principle is always worthy of the others trust.

While in college, I had a classmate who would boast of being good in every sport that one would speak of. His boasts were brought to light when there was sporting event and invariably he would hurt himself in the first practise session and would attribute his bad performance to the injury. While we didnt make much of it once or twice, the repeated action and motive of just gaining fame out of his boasts, the truth came to light at a later stage and he was humiliated when he never made the team.

We speak to share our thoughts but we never try to protect the words that are spoken. We fence our houses to be warded off by trespassers, we lock away our valuables to avoid it being stolen. We polish our cars so that it shines in the glorious view of the envious. Why can we not safeguard our words in order for it to be safe from the world and its abuse?

The world is a beautiful place but with people who are there to take advantage of what you say. If we were to churn the thorns from our words and turn them to petals would we not be altruist in our ways. Words of thanks, praise, appreciation, gratitude and honesty are often missed in a conversation.

Would not the world be a better place if we were to share kind words rather than harsh hurting words? If we start the practise at home it will spread its tentacles to the coffers of the office and the other places that we visit. 

Would the anger and hate that exists in individuals not be vanquished when these tongues of petal are not put to use more often? It creates a thought in my mind to why would we not be able to say such words of kindness and avoid the words that bring the confidence of people down or hurt their sentiments.

We then have a road to choose, do we want to use the tongues of thorns or of petals. The outcome is very indicative of what is to be.... It is your choice!

A Planned Coincidence

Has there been an instance which you felt was coincidental to what you were thinking? Or a moment when you thought of something and in due course you received it?

Was it coincidence that you meet an old friend in a restaurant that you are visiting for a first time? Is it coincidence that you meet your spouse when you knew them for years? Is it coincidence when you are working hard on your admission to the best colleges but instead get into a college where you have made the best friends for life?

What is coincidence then? or is it a plan that had been put in place when you were born or even before it? Who created this plan? Who ensured the players comply with the said plan and its success?

Questions of coincidence have long played in most of our minds but we have been avoiding it for a long time. A coincidence happens when you do not know what the future is going to be and when it happens it was just a coincidence. What if you knew the plan and saw the things happening before you; would it still be  termed as coincidence?

I have had an instance where I was longing to call on a friend for a long time and would always think about it but never really did it. And the day I picked up my phone to dial his number, I receive a call from him. And he says, he has been meaning to call you for a while but just did it. To your astonishment it was a call that was meant to happen at a time and place designated for it.

The thoughts in your mind were signals of its occurrences but it would happen only when it was meant to happen. I cannot believe that we as mortals are powerful to create such a plan of motion. I do believe that there is a greater power of strength that is guiding us through the journey called life and in this instance leading us to places that we never did imagine ourselves to be.

Often in times of stress we hear the quotes, "Just as good times dont last forever, bad times will also have a way of passing over." While it sounds motivational, the person going through the stress of bad luck in their lives would understand the situation that is and the future that lies ahead.

Its very disheartening to read in the papers or listen to the news on television when we hear of people ending their lives because of the pressures of society or life itself. Fathers and mothers killing themselves and their off springs to end their misery in this world. Why would people take such actions? Is it their destiny to die a morbid death and not see the rainbow that they were destined for? Did they not try to figure out how to see the light at the end of the tunnel?

The difficulty is in believing that everything happens for a reason and that the almighty power guiding us through this difficult times is also there to help you through it. Why then do people give up their strength in the hope of a better day?

I remember a time in my life when I was on the verge of taking my life and ending the misery but something just happened overnight where I was signaled to fight on, to get up and dust myself and run.  The night that I had thought of going through the dastardly act, a friend came by the house and forced me to join him and his wife for dinner at a local restaurant. I was very reluctant to join them being in the frame of mind to do the unthinkable.  Something inside me said I should go out with them and spend sometime. The evening was filled with memories and laughter, I didnt eat much but I did look around me and the people who entered the restaurant to have their dinner and then I would glance at my friends sitting in front of me. 

The thought, while I was at the restaurant, was of rejoice and breaking through the chains of frustration and sadness. It was like a phoenix of hope was rekindling itself within me and giving me the strength to move on. Its been 5 years since the event happened and today I can proudly say there are no difficulties that I cannot overcome with the light of hope hovering in the prayers and blessings of my near and dear ones.

I remember the day for each moment of my life and do not think it was coincidence for them to have to come at my house on a weekday to save me. It was their and my destiny to be with each other for the time and it was their presence to which I owe my happiness and joy.

I have been subject to many such coincidences in my life and many a times I fail to recognize the plan that is being followed to make me build my foundations of happiness. The times when I did turn a blind eye to it, I would be dejected and frustrated.

When I am alert and aware of the coincidental plans that happen, I see the signs that make me remember the plan that the almighty has in store for me and that I should ready for the good or the bad to come my way based on the circumstances in hand. 

Be aware, of the coincidences in your life. You may never know the plan that has already been put in place for you in the form of this coincidence!!!