Amore Forever

There are memories of our lives which have got rusty and some of those memories include the times when we either had a deep crush or maybe fell in love for the first time and then life had a different reason for us to continue and be with someone else maybe. But those past memories that still linger in our thoughts and sometimes some occurence in the present triggers those memories of the past and brings a smile without any regrets. Can you remember them?

Remember the time when you had that first crush, more times than none its when you stepped into school for the first time and would have been between the 1st and 4th class/standard/grade. The time when the look of her would make your heart beat like a speeding train. Her one smile would make you go into a dream of your own. Her presence would light up your day, her voice would make you the feel a renewed energy but the times were different and we were not in a position to express our love to her. She was completely obsolete to the fact that you were there and existent for the so called love you had for her. Your friends would say that girls are not the friends you should be having but your heart wanted to go the other way and for some reason she never came to be in your life. And then life went to another phase, the crushes season started to fade out and there was no one like her to move you the way she did for sometime.

Then came your first LOVE, oh that feeling. Thats it, She is it! The thoughts of being with her and times shared with her. Holding her hand and walking for hours. Speaking on the phone till the wee hours of morning, never knowing what you spoke through the night but it was just a conversation that would make you feel satisfied. Her voice was enough to keep you alive. The small picture of her smile that would remain in your purse which had less money and more unwanted papers to make it look big. The mind was engrossed into a dream of love and enchantment, the first few months are spent with each others smiles, the movies, walks in the parks, bike rides/ drives in the evenings, coffee shop rendezvous all seemed like time was flying by and the need of more time to spend with each other. Then on parting you would reach home and like a super spy hide from your parents, call her and speak to her. And start speaking again till the time the eyes do not wish the night away. Sleep is the last thing on your mind, food doesnt taste the same without her by your side. The morning is lifted with the joy that you will be spending another day with her and she will be by yourside in college cuddled by yourside. Then comes the first time your lips touched hers and the shock was felt till the bottom of your spine but you didnt want her to know how much of feeling was there in you as you were the man. But your smile told her a different story and she reciprocated the same affection to you. The warmth of her hand on yours and the kiss made the reasons for everything complete. She was it!

The next step to completing a love saga is to tie the knot and the grave step of speaking to the parents and getting their consent or blessings in our world so that the love is turned to official marriage. Now not everyone's first love ends up with the one that they thought they were destined to be with. Our society has its own rules and the logic of each individual is quite different for everyone. I got to witness the break up of many individuals that had a story of depression and sadness but this didnt last long for them as there is always as silver lining in a dark cloud, right!

So starts another love story and it is again one of happiness and the love is blossoming in the mind with a renewed interest. Thats it, she is the one! You met her either in your work place or through some introduction at a party of a common friend or you tried to pick her up at a party and she was impressed by your line. You both share a common interest that makes you like things and do things which are common to each other. And since you are in the same work place the communication is so much more often and there is so much time shared with each other. You get to know her flaws and strengths, her flaws are pushed under the rug and you can only see her strengths. Oh the love, oh the romance! Its beautiful. She gets you to the top of the world and there is no space for a new person in your life. Your friends take second stage, their calls are always answered with excuses that you have to spend time with her or that she doesnt like you drinking and smoking so you have decided to quit. But when you are not with her all the excuses are forgotten and the smokes and drinks are enjoyed without her knowledge but in your fulfillment.

The maturity of age, relation, etc. brings us to the old hurdle of taking this relation to the next step, MARRIAGE. Parents are yet again involved in the process but this time the mind is strong to get them convinced into agreeing to this relation. You put your foot down and make them agree to your will or you walk out of the house. Now here there are different versions. Guy walks out of the house and gets married to the girl or Guy and girl walk out of their respective houses and get married in the court with the help of some of their friends or girl walks out of the house and gets married to the guy or both the sides agree to relation and there is a rocking party where we all are invited to share in the celebrations and ofcourse get drunk!

Now starts the next phase of the relation which most of the movies in our country do not show case. The part where the love starts to die and reality begins to kick in, the part which has logic and reasoning written all over, the same logic and reasoning that failed to exist when the love was blossoming in the head when the world was obsolete to you in her presence and vice-versa. Thats where the love suddenly vanishes and reality hits us. Shit! I got married!

The innocent Smile!

I was sitting at a park recently and just whiling my time away. As I sat there looking into the oblivion I noticed a family with two children making a nice place for them to sit at. The children would not have been more than 5 years of age with the younger one just learning how to walk. For ease of reading lets name the elder one John and the younger one Jai. Now John had the excitement of a young puppy let loose and was running around like he was being chased or was chasing some unknown being that didn’t exist and his father kept shouting to be careful but invain. John kept falling and tumbling and trying to kick in the air and jump up and down like a rabbit but there was a some kind of joy in what he was doing that a few others were getting irritated with it but he just continued it. Now seeing all this happen Jai was getting tempted to imitate his brother and be like him. Unfortunately, for him he could barely walk and with a step or two would be kissing the grass with his fall but yet he was determined to be like his brother and would get up and try again. It was such a pleasure to watch these two kids playing by themselves and having the time of their lives with nothing but their feet and imagination to keep them company while they made their way through the park running dancing jumping.

The smile of a child is worth a million lifetimes. Notice when a parent is playing with their child and there is complete happiness in the eyes of the child. The child is not bothered of who is around him and how it is going to reflect on him as a person. All that matter is he/ she is with their parents and there is no one else to matter about. He is so absorbed with his parent that he will jump, somersault and make a complete fool of himself for no one to notice. The funny thing is that he is just being himself and there is no one who can change the way he is thinking for that moment. He is the king of all that he does and the ruler of the happiness that exists. His jokes are for him to laugh at and maybe his parents to smile with him and share that moment of happiness with him.

Try making a child smile and you find out that it is quite easy; all you have to do is gain their trust and make a smile at them to reciprocate it to you. There is nothing scientific or logical at it. Have you ever noticed that when there is a conversation going on and a child is noticing the adults speaking and if they are all in a continuous laughter the child also unknowingly begins to laugh without understanding what is the main reason for the group to laugh or what the joke was about. He just wants to join the laughter. His smile gets people smiling so much more than any standup comedian.

Even if you have not been blessed with a child, to be with a child and bring a heartfelt smile on his face is worth more than a trip to an exotic location or materialistic gains that you can afford. I yearn to be with and play with my nephews whenever I can irrespective of if they feel the same or not. I would love to be a part of their lives and the smiles that they have for all. The times when they come to me and ask for something that I can give them is not only a matter of pride for me or a matter of pride to fulfill their needs. It’s the matter of a smile!

The Rise and Fall

It is a learning for one who is on a high and then suddenly falls flat on his face when life hits him below the belt. There was time when I was on top of the world and had all the pleasures of life that I could get and today a year later, I am living a life of begging and borrowing. For a person who would never take money from anyone even in the worst circumstances is today living off his parents.
About 9 months ago, I had a decent job and the pay was good. I had all the pleasures of partying friends to enjoy with and the time of my life in partying anywhere I wanted. Today I have to think if I can have a vada pav or a pani puri as the financial situation has dipped to rock bottom levels. Then there is the peer pressure of doing good and being looked down on. My ego and pride have taken such a bad beating that there is no place for it to exist anymore.
In a way it was good as the true friendship and the actual friends came to light when mis-fortune struck me. There was a moment when I need friends the most and only a few turned up to share their shoulder for my heavy head and all the so called best friends who proclaimed their friendship when I was on a high in life suddenly started to disappear. It was a realization also on the career front where the bosses who pledged their support suddenly had their heads turned and phones on a busy mode as they were too busy with their work and didn’t have the time to speak. Unlike, the time when they were always calling on you to get the work done and there was no problems in their midst because you had taken that extra time off the weekend to come to the office and do the damage control that they had initiated while they enjoyed the weekend on a picnic with their family.
Suddenly, life had a new meaning as to why I was there in this world and why I was, the way I was all this time to be the person who I was and how I could manage to be a better person. Suddenly, the question of mortality arose and the faith that life had built around started to crumble. There was a question on the way that I was leading my life and what was happening? What is our purpose in life and what is it that we are here on this planet for? The beliefs and the blindness in trust were questioned and the thought process of a philosopher started to take birth.
I cannot imagine why the way things happened when it happened. Why was I in the worst of situations and not in the best of places unlike my colleagues and classmates? Nevertheless, the simple answer to all this is that everyone has a time to go through some pain before they have their fruits of success touched and enjoyed. Thinking back in life I cannot remember a time when I was in any real trouble and how I single handedly managed to get out of it. This was my test of patience and maturity. A realization that the decisions taken in the past and the risks tried for a time was not paying off and the ways of the past would need to change if I were to be a materialistic success in life. It was time to reassess myself and change the process that I assumed would have been the right path as it clearly has not worked out for me.
If anyone would ask me what was it that they did wrong and how they could correct it, with respect to their careers, I would give them a simple answer. Do everything that you would never have done in the past and that would be the correct way. It is time to try something new and it’s an opportunity that you have in front of you that you need to grab make the best use of else you will be in the same position that you are in now and there will be no change. Because before you leap you always bend downwards and then reach for the sky. This was definitely going to be the leap for those fallen as it is going to be for me!